Unfinished Business
by Simone Santos
Summary: With one letter the past is brought back to life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Unfinished Business

Author: Simone Santos

Rating: M Adult themes and content as you'd expect from the show itself.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from SOA. No money is made from this work which is purely for entertainment.

A/N: I've been writing this one for a while, held back on posting it to see where it went because the first draft of it died a bloody death. I won't ramble on but I need to thank LaughingWarrior for her constant support on this and R3-1 M4y3r for her support and the beautiful cover art she created for me and the rest of the Freak Circle for support, love and laughter.

Chapter One

"Winston!" The guard handing out the days mail called out. Opie rose to his feet, aware of the eyes on him and took the envelope without looking down at it. It was either from Donna or Jax, his wife and best friend were the only two people who wrote him on a regular basis. He shoved the envelope in the pocket of his pants and sat back down to watch the end of the talk show playing on the common room television.

It had been six months since he'd been sent to Chino, six months of constant noise and watching his back. The constant watching his back would ease up some now because the Sons had finally made a deal with white hate to keep him safe.

The program ended and he returned to his cell, he'd saved the letter deliberately to have something to do during the long hours locked inside with only some weird kid barely out of his teens for company.

Opie pulled the envelope from his pocket, got as comfortable as he could on the too small bunk. The envelope was neatly addressed with all of his information but he didn't recognize the handwriting at first, it wasn't until he took the paper out that he realized who it was from.

_Dear Opie, _

_Can't keep out of trouble, huh? You're probably sitting there, frown firmly on your face asking yourself why is this bitch writing me? I've got to admit I've started this letter about a dozen times, nothing I said seemed right. I'm not like stalking you using the DOJ website or anything, well that is where I got the address but my old man ran into Piney and he mentioned that you were away and of course my asshole father couldn't wait to tell me. I just wanted to see how you're doing (yeah, probably a stupid question) and say hi. It's hard to believe it's been like eight years since... it's been a long time. Anyway, I won't take up too much of your time. The address on the envelope is mine (obviously) and you can write me back if you want. If you don't want to, I get it. Either way stay strong._

_Sarah_

Opie gripped the paper so hard that his fingers nearly broke through the paper. After eight years of silence she just decided to pick up a pen and write him? Obviously she still had balls. He nearly balled up the paper and threw it away but instead he reached under the thin mattress and took out the notebook he used for writing Jax, Donna and the kids.

It had to be eight years since she let her parents drag her out of Charming and she'd never looked back, not once. There hadn't been a single phone, she'd just been gone and a part of him went with her. He'd gone quite completely out of control and knew that the only reason he'd come back off of that path had been Donna. He'd known her for years, just like he'd known Sarah, and she'd been there for him as much as he would let anyone be. The friendship that they shared turned to attraction and then to love and the next thing he knew she was pregnant and they were getting married.

"Fucking bitch," he growled and began to write.

3

_You've got a lot of fucking nerve writing to me._

The one line letter was more than Sarah had honestly expected, it had been a shock to check her mail slot and find the envelope stamped with the warning that it had been mailed from a prison. She carried the envelope upstairs with her, let herself into her apartment and immediately walked over to the kitchen table that doubled as her desk. It was the same mess that she'd left it the night before when she'd given up on playing solitaire and gone to sleep.

Sarah traced her fingers over the words he'd written, the letters were dark as if he'd used extreme pressure when writing. He'd likely broken the poor pen he was using. Opie had always had a temper, she'd been an expert at pushing the buttons to get him to use it. As an adult she knew now that she'd been foolish to push his buttons but as a teenager it had been thrilling. The way he'd exploded had been frightening and to her the clearest expression of his feelings.

It had all been so intense when it came to them, so many feelings that she didn't know what they were. Even now, eight years after she'd been taken from Charming and him, she'd cried when she'd learned that he was six months into a five year sentence.

3

_Does that mean I should stop? Not trying to be a smart ass, just asking._

Opie just stared at the one line response, he should have known better than to think that she wouldn't write back. No, Sarah did what she wanted, always had as long as he'd known her. They'd gone to school together for most of elementary school but it wasn't until their Junior year in high school that he'd really seen her.

He'd already been mentally checked out of the learning process, just wasting his time there until Piney crumpled under his demand to sign his withdrawal papers. Mary was less than thrilled but that pretty much summed up their relationship. He was too much like his father and she hated the old man by that point.

Sarah had walked over to them and all he'd seen was a hottie in a pair of tight jeans, stretchy white v-neck shirt over a pair of perfect tits, shiny hair and glossy lips that just begged to be kissed. She'd taken one look at him checking her out and rolled her eyes. "Stop staring at my tits Winston, it's not like they just sprouted this morning."

Except to him it was like they had, she'd gone from the little tom boy who had followed the guys around to knock out in the course of a summer spent away from Charming. He'd grinned at her and it hadn't been long before he'd had more than his eyes on those tits.

The mere memory of it was enough to get him hard, he shifted uncomfortably on the thin mattress and heard his cell mate cough on the bunk above. "Fucking bitch," he said to no one in particular and shoved the letter underneath the mattress.

3

_You've never listened to a damn thing I've told you to do, can't expect that you'd start now._

Sarah laughed nearly hard enough to choke on her beer, he was right about her not listening. As a teenager she'd been a stubborn, head strong little bitch and not that much had changed honestly.

At twenty four she no longer had to listen to what anyone told her unless she counted her boss and that old bastard could fuck off as far as she was concerned, she remained at her job only because she couldn't find another but even though she stayed she did it on her terms.

It was important to her that things were done on her terms because her parents, well her mother, had made decisions for her that changed the course of her life. There was very little doubt in her mind that her life would be exponentially different if she hadn't been dragged kicking and screaming away from Charming just after her seventeenth birthday.

Maybe she'd be with Opie right now, be the wife with the kids at home waiting for him to get released or maybe it wouldn't have worked. They'd never really had a chance to find out. It was like cutting open an old wound to think about so she pushed it out of her mind. She nearly sent a flip one line response back to him but once she put the pen to the paper there was no stopping the flow of words.

3

_Dear Op,_

_Yeah, there's no way I'm going to start listening to you now. Like it or not you've got a pen pal. Just a pen pal, my father told me that you and Donna got married and had a couple of kids. I'm happy for you, really happy. _

_I always knew that you'd be a dad one day, a good one. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to be away from them and Donna. I know it's easier said than done but keep your ass out of trouble in there. Actually, it might be easier for you than someone else because I can't imagine that many people want to tangle with a giant._

_I'm doing well, if you were wondering. I've been working at the same job for a few years, it sucks but it's a paycheck and it's way better than retail. Screw retail. I'd rather sell my ass than sell stuck up bitches shoes that cost more than my rent ever again. I just moved, got a cute little apartment. It's really little but it suits me. I've even been thinking about getting a pet, maybe a dog._

_How's Jax doing? I heard that Tara left not long after I did. I can't even imagine the two of them not together. Tell him I said hi, or not if that's easier. I figure that you're probably not going to tell Donna that I'm writing you. It's not like we ever got along and that was before the two of you got together. I don't want to cause you any shit Op, really. If you decide that it's better I don't write, I'll stop. _

Opie read the letter twice before folding it. She'd called him a good dad and sounded so sincere. He'd wanted to be a good dad, a good husband and a good Son but somehow things hadn't worked out the way that he'd planned. Everything had been going great until Kyle fucked it all up, being banished wasn't punishment enough. He knew that the man had lost his family, his wife April had decided to stay with the kids in Charming while he'd been forced to leave.

Opie didn't know where he was now, if he never saw Kyle again it would be too soon but if he did see his former brother he was quite sure that he'd snap his neck on sight. If he hadn't taken off and left, he wouldn't be in this cell at the mercy of the fucking Nords for protection. He'd be home, earning for his family instead of relying on the club to take care of them. He'd be with his kids instead of seeing them in the visiting room.

They were barely old enough to understand what was going on, certainly they couldn't understand why Daddy didn't go home with them. He'd be there for Donna who was starting to buckle under the pressure of being a single mother. This wasn't what she'd signed up for and more often than not the visits and calls they managed ended in the same old argument.

She didn't blame Kyle for what happened because she didn't know the man that she thought so highly of had turned coward and taken off. She blamed Samcro for Opie being behind bars and she'd never been much of a fan of the club to begin with.

Opie hated that his mind reminded him that Sarah had loved the club, she'd enjoyed going to Teller-Morrow with him and his brothers had all liked her. He'd worried some of them had liked her too much, Tig had always had his eyes on her tits or ass and Kozik had taken an interest in her that made Opie want to punch him. In time he'd realized that Tig had done it to get a rise out of him and that Kozik only looked at her like a little sister or something. And even if it had been more on their part, she'd only had eyes for him.

"Fuck," he really should just not write her back, this had the potential to get really fucking complicated if it was stirring up feelings he'd told himself were dead a long time ago. Even as he thought it he reached for the notebook to write her back. It was time to set her straight on a few things.

3

_I am NOT a good father. I'm a shitty father, just like my old man and yours. In case you forgot, I'm locked the fuck up. I see my kids once a month at best for a few hours and then send them home while I go back to my cell. Donna's the good parent, she's the one taking care of them while I'm locked away like a rabid fucking dog. I don't deserve her, I don't deserve to call myself a dad or a husband. _

_And you with a dog? You remember that you have to walk them right? No matter what the weather is, they still need to go out and do their business. And you've got to pick up their shit. I can't really see you picking up shit. Maybe you should just get a fish._

It surprised Sarah that he'd remembered her hating to walk her mother's pampered mini poodle Meg, the task had normally fallen to him if he was around. The picture of the huge man walking the tiny dog had always sent her into gales of laughter, he was less amused by it but had done it because she'd asked. He'd never said no to anything that she wanted. It hurt her to read that he didn't think he was a good father or husband. Despite his current situation she knew that he was both, it was the type of man that he was. He was a good man.

There had been a time when the memories that these letters were bringing out would have sent her into a depression that would have had her in bed for days, barely able to function as she mourned what was and what could have been.

Sarah had spent the two years after she'd left Charming alternating between deep depression and reckless behavior. If her mother had thought that she'd been a handful in Charming, she hadn't been prepared for the way that she'd changed once they got to Arizona. She'd chopped off her hair, changed the color on a weekly basis, started smoking and drinking and had good chunks of her body tattooed or pierced just to piss the woman off.

The tattoos remained but most of the piercings were gone now because of her job and because she realized that it had just been a way to strike out. It hadn't been long after she'd graduated from high school, after needing to repeat her senior year, that she'd packed up and left her mother's home. It had been a good four years before she'd returned even for a holiday. Now she saw her mother twice a year, listened to her bemoan the fact that she was still single and working in a bullshit job. Sometimes two times a year felt like too much.

3

_You ARE a GOOD FATHER! You aren't like my old man or yours because if you were you wouldn't give a fuck about any of the things that you mentioned in your letter. So if I hear you say that you're a bad dad again, I'm going to figure out a way to kick your ass. I might need to hire a team of mercenaries but I'll do it. I'm serious!_

_And I know that dogs need to be walked in all different weather, that's why I haven't gone to the shelter just yet. I might go with a cat but I could have a cat and a fish. Maybe I'll go buy the biggest one I can find, name it Opie and keep it on my kitchen counter._

_So, someone has a birthday coming up. I've heard that there's companies that send gift baskets to people inside, any suggestions on what would make your day a little brighter in there?_

He sighed and read the letter again. Part of him had still been furious at her for leaving though he wrote her anyway because contact, any contact, while in here was what made the time bearable. Part of him understood that she hadn't had much of a choice in the matter. Her shrew of a mother had always hated him and there was no doubt she'd have followed through on her threat and called the cops to report their relationship. Maybe it was insane to write to her, to think that he'd ever forget how much it had hurt when she was just suddenly and completely gone.

Opie folded the letter and put it back into his pocket as the guard approached his cell. "Winston, visitor."

It had to be Jax, both kids had bad colds and Donna had told him in their last very brief phone call, the cost of the calls was starting to get to be too much, that she didn't want to leave them with her mother so she was staying home. Likely she'd told Jax the same thing so he'd decided to pick up the slack.

His mind wasn't on his best friend as he followed the guard down to the visiting area, it was on Sarah and the fact that she remembered his birthday after all these years.

If he was being honest the best birthday he'd had was his eighteenth when they'd still been together, it hadn't been the sex because they'd been having plenty of that every chance they could get. It had been the fact that she'd ignored him telling her that he didn't want anything and that the party to be thrown at the club house was enough.

She'd made him a cake, a huge fucking cake, and pretty much cooked the entire buffet that had been laid out at the party before changing into the slinkiest little dress he'd ever seen her in and staying at his side for the entire night. They'd ended up in one of the rooms, the apartment that Jax used so often now, and it had been the first time they'd properly spent the night together.

It had been the only full night they'd spent together. Her not coming home that night and that had been the final straw for her mother. Two days later, she was gone and he'd been told in no uncertain terms to let her go. Piney had later explained that it was the only way her mother wouldn't press charges against him because she was only seventeen.

"Hey Op," Jax rose as Opie walked into the visiting room and the two men embraced quickly, "Jesus Christ, you're getting huge."

"Not much else to do in here, how's everything? Everyone?" He questioned.

"Good, I stopped by the house earlier to see Donna. The kids are both miserable, I brought them some ice pops, the kind with sugar because I didn't know better. I thought that Donna was going to cut my head off." Jax grinned. "How are you?"

"I'm good, as good as I can be in here." Opie realized that the time was passing a little quicker for him, knew that it was because of Sarah's letters. "Guess who wrote me?"

"Who? One of the guys?"

"Nah, a blast from the past Brother. Sarah."

"Sarah?" Jax's eyes widened with surprise, "shit Op, tell me you didn't write her back?"

"So what if I did?"

"That's trouble, we both know it. Jesus Christ, it has to have been eight years since she left. Why would she write you?"

"Her old man saw Piney, Piney told him I went inside and she got the address off the computer. Don't look at me like that," he added because he knew the expression on his friend's face.

"Got to leave the past in the past Brother." Jax said grimly. "Donna would have heart failure if she knew."

"Like you leave Tara in the past every time that you pick up a bottle of whiskey?" Opie questioned.

"I never said that it was a good thing, look Op I'm just looking out for you. Don't take it as me telling you what to do, it's just you're not thinking straight in here. It's not possible to think straight in here and stirring up old flames isn't going to help anything."

Opie didn't say anything else, he knew that Jax had a valid point. He'd been out of control when Sarah left, only calming down when he had started seeing Donna. He loved his wife, he wouldn't have married her if he didn't. He loved his family and maybe it was time to just leave the past in the past.

3

It had been three weeks since Sarah had sent Opie her last letter, each day that passed with no response made her realize that there probably wasn't going to be one. It was a disappointment because she'd been looking forward to it, it had really felt like they'd reconnected in a good way.

He'd probably seen it a different way, thought that she was trying to get back with him in some way but she wouldn't do that. He had a nice life, a beautiful wife and two kids that were no doubt completely adorable. All she'd wanted was the chance to be a friend to someone who had meant so much to her.

Sarah decided it was time to stop looking for letters, to let him lead the life he'd been living before she'd butted in.

3

The Judge Judy episode that was playing in the common room was a repeat, Opie had seen it before and could clearly remember the outcome, still he sat there and watched. There was really nothing else better to do.

It had been a week since Jax's visit, his birthday had come and gone two days before. He'd tried to call home but the call wouldn't go through, the line had been disconnected. Donna must have forgotten to pay the bill, she did have a hell of a lot on her plate. Opie could have called the club house but he'd just gone back to his cell. He'd been in a shit mood since, nearly getting into two fights. Both times the Nords had intervened and now other inmates were giving him a wide berth.

Judge Judy was forgotten as the guard brought in the mail cart, it was piled with packages. Once a month there was a company who put out a catalog for the inmates, it was expensive but had pretty much everything you could think of. They poured over it like kids with the Toys R US christmas book, most knowing that they'd never get one of their own.

Opie hadn't even mentioned it to Donna, he'd never ask her to spent that kind of money on him. He wanted every cent to go to her and the kids, it was only for necessities like soap and shampoo that he let her put fifty dollars a month into his commissary account.

"Daniels. Jenkins. Soto. Suarez. Winston." The guard called out.

Opie looked over at him, "you sure?" he called out.

"Says it right on the box, move your ass Inmate."

"If you don't want it, I'll take it,"his cell mate said from the seat next to him, it was probably only the second time the younger man had said anything to him.

He was still confused as to who could have sent it and why when he rose to his feet. It had to be Jax, maybe as a gift for his birthday. The guard handed the box over and Judge Judy held no interest to him any longer.

Alone in his cell he opened the flap and took out the envelope on top first. He was prepared to see Jax's name at the bottom but instead his heart thudded hard as he saw Sarah's. What the fuck had she done?

_Hey Opie,_

_I haven't heard from you and that's fine, I get it. I hope that the time goes fast for you so that you can be home with Donna and the kids. Anyway, you never said what you wanted for your birthday so I just got what I thought that you'd like. Hope you enjoy it. Take care of yourself._

_Sarah._

For a long time Opie simply sat and stared at the piece of paper. It wasn't her writing, obviously someone at the company who packaged the goods. He barely heard the buzzer that indicated recreation time was over or his cell mate come back in.

"What did you get?"

Opie looked up at the man, shit he was more like a kid. "Let's see." He dug his hand down into the box and began to take out items wrapped in plastic. "Son of a bitch," he swore softly. The package had to have cost her several hundred dollars. There were two new shirts, a package of socks, a package of boxers, new shaving stuff and food. Obviously she remembered his sweet tooth because there was plenty of chocolate along with a good sized block of already sliced cheese and crackers.

"Holy Shit," his cell mate squeaked, "you hit the mother load!"

"Yeah," Opie shook his head, "looks like I did." He took out a bar of chocolate. "Kevin, right?"

"That's right."

"You like chocolate?"

"What do you want me to do for it?"

"Nothing," Opie frowned. "You want some or not?"

"Fuck yeah, thanks man. Thanks."

"No problem," Opie took a bar of chocolate for himself, tore it open and downed half of it in two greedy bites. After that he forced himself to pace himself, at that rate he'd go through everything in days. He wanted to make it last.

Once again she'd ignored his request to ignore his birthday even after he hadn't written her back.

3

_You shouldn't have sent that package Sarah, it was too much. You should have kept the money for you. When I get out I'm going to pay you back whatever you spent on it. Thanks though, it was probably the best present that I've ever gotten._

_It was nothing you did or said that made me not write you back. I talked to Jax about you, told him that we were writing to one another. He thinks that it's a bad idea, that we can't be friends. Maybe he's right, it's been a long time. We've both moved on. Maybe we should just go back to that._

When Sarah had finally found a letter in her mailbox from him this was the last thing that she'd expected to read. After the day she had it wasn't a surprise to her that tears welled up in her eyes. She let them fall.

Work was hell, the other girl in the office had finally had enough of their boss and quit. It had left her high and dry, doing two jobs and spending twelve hours a day in her chair for the past week. She was tired, hungry and would have to do it all over again the following morning.

Sarah sat down at the kitchen table, took out the stationary that she'd brought to write him and lifted off one page. The rest went into the trash. There would be no need for it anymore.

3

_I won't bother you again. I just thought that we could be friends. I liked thinking that. I thought it would be... well, you've made yourself pretty clear so I guess it doesn't matter what I thought. I'm glad that you liked the package. Enjoy it._

Opie's gut twisted into a series of tight knots, he'd regretted sending the letter and everything that he said. The more and more he'd thought about it, the more he was sure that Jax didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. There was nothing wrong with writing to Sarah, they weren't flirting.

It was friendly, innocent and harmless for the most part, sure his mind had started to dredge up memories he'd deliberately forgotten. If he shut his eyes he could smell her hair, the flower scented shampoo that she'd always favored. Once, just once, it had been her he pictured when he took matters into his own hand. There was nothing wrong with a fantasy, it could have just as easily been Angelina Jolie that he was picturing.

He grabbed the notebook, started to write even though he didn't know how the hell to explain what he was thinking or feeling. He just knew that he couldn't leave it with her feeling badly. It just wasn't right.

3

_You weren't bothering me. I didn't say that right Sarah. Shit, I'm not good with this stuff and you of all people know that. I let Jax get inside my head and I don't know why. Every time he gets shit faced he talks about Tara like she didn't up and leave him. Hell, you didn't leave me. Not by your choice at least. So, write me back. We can be friends. I'd like that._

_You're really going to ignore me? Not write me back when you wrote me first? When you sent me that damn package? Come on Sarah, don't be stubborn. I told you what I said didn't come out right. It's just.. I've been thinking about you. About us. About how things ended and about how we were and I did miss you. It's nice to be able to talk to you again._

_Really Sarah? Jesus, you're still a stubborn fucking bitch when you want to be. I'm not going to try this again. I'm sorry alright? _

All three letters came back to Opie marked return to sender. He knew that if she was just pissed he would have gotten letters back, bitchy letters probably telling him to fuck off and die but it would have been something. Her silence told him that she wasn't mad, she was hurt.

The idea of hurting her didn't sit right with him, not with the way that they'd been. Fuck, it was crazy how quickly they'd come together. From casual friends to an intense relationship that had been the best time of his life. He'd loved her so much that it hurt to look at her sometimes and see her love for him written all over her face.

People always said that you never forgot your first love, he knew that it was true. It didn't take anything away from how he felt for Donna. Fuck, he loved his wife. He'd do nothing but count the days for the next four and a half years until he was home with her. Still, the idea of hurting Sarah hurt him and he wasn't even sure what that meant.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize from SOA. This is done in fun, no profit is made but hopefully everyone is entertained.

A/N: Big thanks for all the reviews, favorites and follows and for each and every one of you who read this. I think I pm'd everyone who left a review. If I missed you, my apologies it wasn't intentional.

CHAPTER TWO

Sarah had burned the chicken, that was how the fight started. Her mind was somewhere else as it usually was that time of night, it had been a long day at work, she was tired and felt the beginning of getting sick coming on. If only she'd paid more attention she'd have noticed when it got to the point of crispy.

She'd taken it out in time to make it extra crispy and personally she thought it tasted just fine but Matt had a different opinion. "How hard is it to fucking fry chicken?" he demanded as he stared down at the burned pieces. "This shit isn't free Sarah, that's money you just wasted."

"It was an accident," she shot back, furious at the way he'd taken to speaking to her lately. They'd been dating for the past year, living together in his apartment for the last three months and she was starting to think that moving in together had been the biggest mistake of her life. "It's been a long day Matt, I'm tired and.."

"And I'm fucking hungry. You sit at a damn desk and answer a phone all day," he took several steps closer to her, "I do real work." Matt was everything that she was supposed to want in a man. He was funny, cute, treated her really good and a successful lawyer. Her mother had practically came in her pants when she'd met him. "All I want when I come home is something to fucking eat, you can't even get that right."

"I do more than answer a phone all fucking day, thank you very much." Anger flared inside of her. Who the hell did he think that he was? "And I'm hungry too. I'll call for take out. It's not the end of the world."

"If I wanted take out, I'd have ordered it. Make me something else, now. I'll be in my study, I've got work to do." He looked down at her with an expression of disgust on his face. As much as she hated to admit it, he'd been giving her that look more and more in recent weeks.

"Make it yourself," she informed him. She wasn't his slave. Fuck, how did she end up here? "I'm taking a shower and heading to bed," it wouldn't be the first time she'd gone to bed hungry and it probably wouldn't be the last. It had been a struggle to take off the twenty pounds that Matt said would make her look like a super star.

"Make it myself? Make it myself?" He demanded as he reached out and grabbed her by the hair hard. "Why would I do that when I have you?"

3

"Winston, Visitor." The guard spoke from outside of Opie's cell and he rose to his feet.

It wasn't Donna, he knew that much. As hard as it had been for him to agree with her when she said that it was doing the kids more harm than good to sit in the visitors room and see him in his orange jump suit, he knew that she was right. After the first month of her coming alone every other week, it turned in to her coming once a month. Now she'd come every other month because the price of gas had gone up and the station wagon was a gas guzzler.

His visitor was probably Jax, some of the other guys came now and then but it was rare. Opie followed the guard down to the visiting hall, grinned at the sight of Kozik sitting at one of the tables.

He wasn't wearing his cut, had on a black and white Reaper Crew shirt and was sporting a black eye and a nasty looking cut on his forehead. "Let me guess, that's Tig's welcome to Charming present?"

The blonde man grinned, rose to his feet and hugged Opie tight. "Something like that," he admitted, "damn, we're going to need to get you a bigger chair if you keep this up."

"Fuck off," Opie said without any heat, "what brings you to Chino?"

"Been too long since I came to see you, the guys in Tacoma all say hello. Got to come up when you get out, we'll throw one hell of a party."

There were three and a half years left until his release, it was hard to believe that he'd been inside for only a year and a half. It felt like more. It felt like an eternity. "I'll take you up on that after I spend some time with my family."

"Saw Donna the other day, she's... looking a little tired." Kozik was always a straight shooter. "Kids are getting huge. Kenny's all over like a fly on horse shit and Ellie, well she's the calmest kid in the world."

"Pop says that she's like me when I was a kid, real serious. Haven't seen them in a while," it hurt to admit that even to a man he considered a close friend. At this rate his kids weren't even going to know who the hell he was the next time that they did finally see him again.

"Might be best for the kids, this shit confuses them or at least I figure it would." Kozik cleared his throat, tapped his fingers against the table. "Anyone giving you any trouble in here?"

"Nah, Nords got that covered. I don't even want to know what Clay had to agree to for Darby to make that deal."

"Whatever it was, it was worth it. We need you to come out whole," Kozik shifted in the chair, the man couldn't seem to sit still. "Hey, know what I thought about the other day?" His tone was casual, almost too casual and that raised a red flag with Opie.

"What?" Opie eyed his friend, something was off with Kozik or maybe being inside these four walls was just making him a little nervous. He knew that was the reason why most of his Brothers never made the trip.

"Remember that time you and Sarah stole tequila from Piney, got completely shit faced and ended up not being able to find your bike to get home?" Kozik questioned.

Opie let out a loud laugh, the first laugh he'd really meant in a while. There was a lot that he didn't remember about that particular night, it had been a full bottle of tequila. "You came to get us in the van, brought another bottle and weed with you. I don't remember how the hell we got home." He shifted in the chair and knew that it wasn't coincidence Kozik would bring her up.

"Sarah ended up driving," Kozik recalled, "we passed out in the van and she left us in there."

"I heard from her after I got locked up," Opie admitted and saw no surprise cross Kozik's face. Jax had obviously said something to him because he knew for sure that Piney wouldn't have said anything and they were the only two people who knew. "She wrote me a couple times and sent me a package for my birthday." He was actually wearing one of the shirts underneath his prison issue shirt and had made the food and sweets she sent last as long as possible.

"How's she doing?"

"Not sure it's been a while, last time we wrote I... had been thinking that maybe it wasn't a good idea for us to be in touch." His conversation with Jax had seriously helped with that decision. Opie expected to see the same judgment on Kozik's face but there was no trace of it. "She didn't take it too well."

"Yeah, I can see that with her." Kozik chuckled. "She still in Arizona or where ever?"

Opie was surprised that Kozik had even remembered where she'd gone after she left Charming but knew he shouldn't have been. Out of everyone it had been Kozik who she was closest too. "She's back in Cali, up by the Washington border, town called Maryville, or at least she was. I haven't heard from her since that letter."

"I know Maryville. Hey, if you want I can drop in on her and make sure she's good. It'd be nice to see her after all these years." Kozik offered. It wouldn't be out of his way, he liked Sarah and it was obvious that Opie was bothered by her not replying to him.

Opie hesitated before answering, he'd been thinking about Sarah more and more in the past few weeks. He'd even sent her another letter but it had come back as well . "She might have moved, I wrote her a couple times after that letter and got them all back."

Kozik grinned. "Well that's no problem, I'll make a call and get Wolf up in Tacoma to figure out where she is." A look crossed Opie's face that made him chuckle. "Don't worry, no one will know because he's used to getting chicks information for me."

"Still a horn dog I see," Opie observed. Kozik's reputation with the ladies was well known.

"Always," the man smiled wider, "now, let me tell you this crazy shit that happened up in Tacoma.

3

"I can't believe that you came to work after you got mugged," Britney was the latest in a string of women who'd been hired to replace Sarah's former co-worker. She'd only been there two weeks but was settling in quite nicely. "You're having a bad run, first the car accident and now this."

"Yeah, a real bad run," Sarah confirmed as she eyed the clock. Lunchtime meant that it was only five hours until she could go home and put more ice on her face before packing her shit. Last night had been the final straw. Matt had actually knocked her out for a few minutes, she'd come to and told herself that if she stayed she deserved anything that she got.

"I'm going to the deli down the street for lunch, can I bring you back something?"

"That would be great." Sarah reached into her purse and took out a ten dollar bill. She scribbled her order down on a piece of paper and looked over to the door as the chimes sounded. She expected to see the floral delivery man, Matt always sent flowers to say that he was sorry. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." It had been years since she'd seen him but she immediately recognized Herman Kozik, the time hadn't changed him all that much.

"Do you know that guy?" Britney questioned with wide eyes as she stared at him. It wasn't every day that a biker walked through the front door after all.

"I used to," Sarah rose to her feet, met him halfway, "Kozik, what in the world are you doing here?"

"What happened to your face?" He asked without answering her question.

"Oh, it's nothing. I got mugged in the parking deck at the mall. It was stupid, I should have been paying more attention." Sarah told the lie that had worked so well on everyone else. It didn't seem like it was working on him. Fuck. This was seriously not good. She needed to get rid of him before he started to ask the questions that she knew were coming.

"You call the cops?" Kozik felt anger spark inside of him. Sarah had always been a shitty ass liar, he'd learned that trying to teach her poker.

"I didn't have anything on me, it's fine Kozik really. Look at you," Sarah desperately tried to change the subject, "you look great." She moved forward and gave him a hug, lingering a little too long when he wrapped his arms around her because it felt nice and safe in his arms.

"Come on, let me take you to lunch." He kept his voice low, whatever was going on he wasn't going to call her out on it in the middle of her job.

"Oh, I'd like that but Britney was just about to go." Sarah pulled back from him, smiled. "I..."

"Go," the woman said from behind her, "I can wait until you get back. I'll hold down the fort."

Sarah nearly sighed. She'd been so close to getting him to leave. Why did Britney have to be so nice? "Alright, let me just grab my stuff and use the ladies room really quick. I can bring you back something Brit."

"That would be great," Britney told her, "I'm happy to give you a chance to catch up with your friend." She waited until Sarah had crossed the office to the small bathroom. "I think she's lying," she told Kozik, a grim expression on her face, "either lying or the unluckiest person on the planet because last week she had a car accident that banged her up pretty bad."

Kozik returned his attention to the younger woman. "What do you think is going on?"

"I think that douche she calls a boyfriend is beating her ass every chance that he gets," she replied. "Don't say that I said anything, I really like her and this job. I don't want to screw it up."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything." Kozik walked over to the closest desk, took a pen and wrote his number on a piece of paper, "she comes in like this again, you call me." He didn't think he'd ever get a call like that though because he was going to get to the bottom of what was going on with her.

"I will," Britney promised, "you from around here?"

"I live up in Tacoma," he smiled at her, "I pass through a lot though."

"Maybe we could get together sometime." Britney said with a flirtatious smile. She winked at him and then backed away as Sarah came out of the bathroom.

Sarah had done her best to cover up some of the damage to her face with the makeup she kept in her purse, perhaps she could convince Kozik that it wasn't as bad as it looked but she didn't really think that was going to work.

"Spill it," he told her once they were seated at the small Italian restaurant down the block from her office.

"I told you..."

"Don't lie to me," his voice rose slightly, "tell me the truth because there's no way that you got mugged."

"It's nothing Kozik, really. Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, let's talk about why you stopped writing Opie," he leaned forward and watched her closely.

Sarah nearly groaned. How did he know about that? And for that matter how did he know where she was? "He didn't want me to write him anymore," she snapped. "Wait, how did you know about that? Is that why you're here? You can report back to Jax that I haven't heard from him since."

"You'd know that wasn't true if you didn't send his letters back," Kozik found it very interesting that she'd mention Jax but if memory served there had never been much love between the two.

"I never sent his letters back," Sarah lowered her fork and gave up all pretense of eating. "He told you that I sent his letters back?"

"Said he got three back that he used to try and let you know he regretted in the last one he sent. I went to see him the other day, he brought it up and I told him that I'd pass by on my way back to Tacoma and make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine Kozik, I... I don't know what happened with the letters." Except she had a really good idea as to what had happened. She'd been casually seeing Matt when she'd been writing to Opie, he'd found several of the letters and his reaction to them hadn't been positive. There was no doubt in her mind that he'd gotten to her mail first and sent them back.

"You sure about that Sarah?" Kozik asked, again it was pretty damn obvious that she was lying. It was really a shame how obvious it was.

She met his eyes, cursed as she felt her eyes beginning to tear. "It's nothing that I can't handle. Can we just eat? Tell me how you're doing? How's Tacoma? I can't believe that you transferred up there, you always loved Charming."

"Yeah, I still love Charming but I fucked up. It happened after you were gone, I was at Tig's place and I passed out on the couch." He'd been high at the time but he didn't want to tell her that. "I left the front door open, Missy got out. She got hit by a car. I never even realized it. Tig found her the following morning when he came home. It was... it was too late."

"Oh he loved that damn dog, and you did too." The tears that she'd banished only seconds before were back. She'd liked the dog too even if she'd never been close to Tig.

"He couldn't get over it, I can't blame him. It was my fault. I transferred to Tacoma a few months later, figured the best thing I could do was try and find a fresh start. It's nice up there. It snows."

"I've still never seen snow in person," she was surprised he'd remembered her infatuation with snow and cold weather and hoped that she could use it to change the subject to something else.

"The novelty wears off really quick," he assured her, "you can come up anytime you want. There's tons of forests, you'd love it."

"That sounds nice," she admitted though she was sure that it wouldn't happen. Going somewhere required money and she was going to be really tight on funds after she put down security, first and last months rent on a new apartment.

"You should take some vacation time and come up, you look like you could use the break," he told her. If it was up to him he'd stick her on the back of his bike right then.

The concern that was obvious on his face made Sarah's resolve crumble. She opened her mouth, prepared to tell him everything when she saw a flash of dark blue out of the corner of her eye. Matt stalked towards the table, he was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes and she knew that look. It was the look that meant she was in trouble. "Fuck," she exhaled the word a second before he was at the table.

"What is this?" He demanded as he straightened his cuff links.

"Lunch with a friend," Sarah told him, "Matt this is Kozik, I haven't seen him in years."

Kozik smirked as the man looked him up and down, took in his cut and casual clothes. "So this is the guy?" He rose to his feet, extended his hand but wasn't surprised when the other man didn't take it. What a fucking douche.

"Yes, this is Matt," Sarah confirmed, her eyes firmly on the table as she wished she could just disappear. If he'd have appeared only a minute later she had no doubt Kozik would be kicking his ass after what she'd been ready to admit. As it was she wasn't sure the conversation wouldn't end that way anyway.

"Her fiance," Matt corrected as he dismissed Kozik with a look, "I thought that you were staying in for lunch today."

"Kozik dropped by and I wanted to catch up," Sarah's voice didn't shake but that was with effort. Matt's tone might have been pleasant but she could see the anger behind his eyes. He wouldn't make a scene, that wasn't his style but this was far from over.

"I'm meeting a client here, don't know why he likes this little hole in the wall," Matt told her, "I'll see you at home after work?"

There was nothing threatening in what he said, no the threat was in his eyes and Sarah knew it. "Of course, where else would I be?" She tried to keep her voice light and smile but it was hard to tell if she succeeded because her heart was beating so hard that she actually felt just a little dizzy.

Matt left the table without another word, sat down a few tables away but his eyes stayed on her. "Lunch was really great Kozik but I need to get back to work."

"Sarah..."

"No, I've got to get back. It was great to see you." She grabbed her purse and tossed down some bills on the table even though they hadn't ordered yet.

Kozik watched her go, he didn't follow her even though he wanted to because she'd been upset enough by the suit wearing prick who was now staring at him. Yeah, this guy was going to be a problem and need to be dealt with. He pulled his phone out of his cut, considered his options and a smile spread over his face as he dialed.

3

"You embarrass me in public? Sitting there having a cozy little lunch with that fucking biker? Is he the one? Is he the one that you were writing too? The one that you spent all that money sending a package too?"

Sarah had known that Matt would be in a rage, she'd known that there was no way around it and she'd known that it had to stop here and now. "He's my friend! Funny how me having lunch with someone can embarrass you but you've got no guilt about what you do to me here every time you lose your temper."

"Shut your bitch mouth."

"Fuck you," it wasn't the wisest thing to say but she was past the point of caring about wise, "I'm leaving."

"Only way that you're leaving me is in a fucking body bag you stupid bitch." He lunged forward and the pain of the blow barely registered. She moved to strike back, something that she'd never done before.

She registered the sting in her palm as her hand connected with his face. Matt let out a roar of anger and the last thing she felt was her head smashing into the edge of the kitchen counter.

3

Kozik looked over at Happy. "Thanks Brother, I appreciate you coming. This isn't a club thing, this is my thing."

"Who is she?" Happy asked out of curiosity. He'd been surprised that Kozik had called him, surprised that he'd asked for help with something to do with a woman. Most women didn't last long on his radar and certainly didn't merit calling in a personal favor.

"Girl I used to know in Charming, not my girl," he added at Happy's smirk, "she used to be with Opie until her parents took her away. They reconnected since he's been locked up, I always liked her. He was worried about her so I said I'd check in on her. She's in a bad way, abusive guy."

"What are we waiting for?"

"He just got home," Kozik motioned to the house across the street, "figure we give him a few minutes to lose his shit and then pop in at a good moment."

"That him running out of the house?" Happy questioned.

"Fuck."

"I'll get him," a smile slid across Happy's face. "You go make sure she's okay."

He'd waited too long, he should have grabbed Matt on his way in the house and not waited to catch him in the act. Panic rose inside of him as he walked through the open from door. "Sarah!" There was no reply but it didn't take long to find her on the kitchen floor. There was blood, a lot of blood but he knew that head wounds bled badly. "Oh fuck, come on Sarah." He patted the side of her face with his hand. "Sarah?"

Sarah opened her eyes slowly, the light was really bright and her head hurt. "Koz? What are you doing here?"

"Came to have a little talk with your boyfriend. It looks like I should have gotten here sooner. Can you sit up?"

"I think so," Sarah let him guide her, she brought her hand to the back of her head and it came away bloody, "son of a bitch."

Kozik grabbed a dish towel from the counter. "You're going to be fine." The front door slammed and she jumped. "Easy Sarah, that's just Happy."

"Stop squirming you piece of shit," a deep voice rumbled through the house. "We good Brother?"

"Yeah, I think so," Kozik got to his feet, opened the freezer and found an ice pack. "Hold this to the back of your head, it'll help."

Sarah nodded, her eyes widened as a tall tan man holding Matt by the tie stepped into the doorway. It took a moment to remember him, she'd seen him around Charming and Opie had always told her to steer clear of him. "What do you want to do with him?"

Kozik replied physically rather than verbally, his fist slammed into Matt's face and blood spurted from the nose which was obviously broken. "Think it's time to teach him a lesson on how to treat women."

"In front of her?" Happy looked down at Sarah, he didn't recognize her but that didn't mean much. He'd never paid much attention to the women around the club unless they were of the disposable variety.

"Sarah, tell them to stop this. Tell them that you love me and that you made me..." Matt's desperate plea was cut off as Happy's hand wrapped around his throat.

"Sarah?" Kozik looked down at her. "Honey, I need you to go and pack your stuff." He helped her to her feet. "You okay?" He was relieved when she nodded.

She stumbled towards the bedroom, there wasn't much to pack because she'd done the majority of it before Matt even came home. The sound of the beating that he was taking was all she could hear as she finished throwing the last of the things that she couldn't live without into a suitcase that actually belonged to him.

It surprised her how little of the things in the house actually belonged to her. She'd given up most of her stuff because Matt's house was already fully furnished. The last thing that she grabbed was one of the things that mattered the most, the box was full of memories including the letters that Opie had written to her. In a way he'd saved her, if he hadn't asked Kozik to come and check up on her she didn't know what would have happened after she'd hit her head. Shit, it still hurt like hell.

Matt was a bloody heap on the living room floor when she finally came out of the bedroom. She looked between Kozik and Happy, unsure of what would happen next. "I'm all packed."

"Good, you've got a car right?"

"Yes."

"Give me your keys," Happy stepped forward with his hand out.

"They're..." Sarah had to think, "they're in my purse. I'll get them." The purse was where she left it and it only took her a minute to find the keys. "Thank you." He nodded in response.

"I'm not sure that you're okay to drive," Kozik came over to her, wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "maybe we should get you to a hospital."

"No, no hospital. I just need to get out of here. I'll be fine, I'm okay. I'm okay." Sarah looked down to where Matt was sprawled out on the floor. "Is he dead?"

"No, he'll wish he was tomorrow though," he took the opportunity to kick the man one last time, "alright, let's get you to a hotel. You should rest. Tomorrow morning is soon enough to head out."

"If you've got to go, I'll be fine at the hotel alone. I'm sure that you need to get back."

"You're coming to Tacoma with me, for that vacation we talked about until you decide what you want to do," he told her, "don't argue. It's the most logical thing."

Sarah wasn't in the mood to argue, she was tired and her head was really starting to hurt. She simply nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you Kozik."

3

_Hey Op,_

_I guess you've noticed my new return address, I'm in Tacoma now with Kozik. Well, not WITH Kozik. He helped me find a place I can afford, some sort of club discount apparently and I got a new job. I like it here, maybe it can be home for me. I got a fish. I named it after you, it's a gold fish with these really buggy eyes that looks nothing like you. _

_I've got a lot to tell you. I'm just going to say it straight, don't see any reason to beat around the bush. Kozik tells me that you got some letters back, I never saw them. I'd started seeing this guy. I really thought that he was a good guy but I was wrong. We moved in together which was an epic mistake even for me. A few weeks after I moved in, he started to lose his temper. It was yelling at first and then he'd grab me and shake me a bit. Scared the shit out of me but I didn't think he'd hit me._

_He did and then he was sorry but then he did it again. I got swept up in the vicious cycle of it. I didn't see a way out. I couldn't even imagine a way out until the night before Kozik showed up. It was bad that night. Really bad. I knew if I stayed that I'd deserve anything that happened to me so I decided I was leaving. It was like fate when Kozik came in the next day, I have you to thank for that. I remembered who I used to be, how strong I was. I wanted to be that way again, I needed to be that way again. It's important to me that you know that I was leaving before they came in and saved me. It's also important that you know how much I appreciate you giving a shit enough to ask him to check on me. _

_I hope everything is okay with you. I'm sorry about him sending the letters back. I would have read them, you know that and we both know that I would have wrote you back. So tell me everything when you write me back if you want to write me back. If you don't I understand, I just needed to tell you all of this. _


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Sons of Anarchy. I'm just having fun with them. No profit is made. No harm meant.

A/N: Thanks to all who have read any of the previous chapters. I tried to reply to everyone and if I missed you it was not intentional. Also, I'm still partially sick and any mistakes are mine missed when I edited.

Chapter THREE

Opie rose to his feet when the guard called his name, he'd never thought that he could look forward to the mail so fucking much but every time he heard his name he felt something, he didn't know how to explain it. There were three letters, he carried them back to his cell and opened the one from Donna first. It was short, really short with only a few lines about the kids, the house and telling him that they were doing fine so there was no reason for Jax to keep dropping by.

Her letters had been getting shorter and shorter, the calls more infrequent and her visits were down to once a month. When they were together it was pretty awkward, she couldn't forget where they were so she talked stiffly, sat far away from him and barely met his eyes. No matter what he did or said he knew that things were changing between them but he didn't know how to stop it.

Part of it was his fault, he knew that. Maybe he'd pulled back from her as well, it wasn't intentional but it what it was. It wasn't about Sarah or at least not all about Sarah. Even before he'd gone inside things hadn't been exactly easy with Donna. He loved her and she loved him but she absolutely hated the Sons.

She'd never liked that he was a member, had refused to go out with him just because he was associated with them but he'd broke her down and she'd agreed. She was sweet, funny, sexy and everything he'd wanted in a woman so he'd looked past her feelings, thought that they would change and they hadn't. They never would, he knew that now just as well as he knew that he'd made a commitment to her, to their family and he would honor that.

Opie opened Jax's letter next, his best friend had recently proposed to Wendy and the wedding would take place before he was home. He was going to miss out on being the best man but it didn't bother him so much because he couldn't imagine Wendy and Jax actually making a go of it. Wendy was too wild and Jax was still too in love with Tara to actually love someone else.

Finally he opened Sarah's letter; she was still in Tacoma, managing a car parts store and living in a small house a few blocks from the SAMTAC club house. He was surprised to feel a picture tucked inside of the letter. He paused, stared at the paper. He'd been asking her for one for nearly six months and couldn't believe that she'd finally relented.

_I can't believe that I'm sending this but here goes nothing, remember you asked for it. You know that I hate pictures Op but I guess I'm curious about what you look like too. I found a picture of you on the wall at the club. You haven't changed much, you're taller though or at least it looks that way with you standing next to Jax._

_I was there for Donut's engagement party. I like her, she's pretty cool. She keeps telling me to come hang out more but I've been working a lot and just want to go home and be chill at the end of the day. You know, I was thinking that if you wanted you could call me sometime. Unless you think that's too... whatever. _

Opie looked away from the letter, turned the picture over in his hand. It was like getting kicked in the stomach. Sarah was smiling in the picture, obviously caught off guard. Her hair was down and longer than he remembered, she was wearing a black button down shirt and a pair of jeans and her body was, well her tits were better than he remembered. Fuck, the last thing he wanted to think about were her tits.

_I got a cat, well I found a cat or it found me. Might be the start of me turning into a crazy cat lady. Feel free to shoot me if I get another. Nice to have someone to talk to though that might be one of the steps to crazy. I'm probably good if it doesn't talk back. Shit, I sound crazy don't I? I'm just nervous that I sent the picture and told you to call. I probably shouldn't be but... I am. And on that note, I'm going._

_3_

It was hard to believe that she'd been in Tacoma for a year, Sarah hadn't felt this at home anywhere. Her house was great, nice and small in a way that was perfect for her because there wasn't much to clean. Her job was mostly good, frustrating at times but what job wasn't?

She was sitting on her little porch overlooking the garden that she was attempting to grow with a glass of wine and a joint. It was her perfect way to relax at the end of a day. She needed all the relaxation she could get because she was still seriously nervous over the picture that she'd sent Opie.

Sarah still wasn't sure while she relented except that she'd really liked the picture Kozik had snapped of her when they were cooking out in the backyard. She looked happy. She still didn't know why she'd included her number in the letter. They'd never written of talking on the phone. It was stupid for her to have sent it, so stupid that there weren't words for it.

He was married, he was happy, he was going to go home to his wife in two and a half years and she would be alone. If she was smart she'd move on but no one had ever really accused her of being smart.

She finished the glass of wine, went back in the house and just grabbed the bottle. There was no point in pretending that she wasn't going to drink it all because she was, it was just one of those nights. She was just polishing off her second glass when the phone rang. She reached for it, took a deep breath and answered. "Hello?"

"Sarah?"

"Hey Kozik," she held back a sigh, she'd really hoped that it would be Opie. Hell, every time that the phone rang she hoped that it was him, "what's up?"

"I'm hungry," he replied, "throw on something and come grab food with me."

"I'm not really hungry, I think that I'm just going to go to bed." She told him, it was the same excuse she'd been giving him since two or three days after she'd mailed the letter. What if she left and missed the call? Sarah realized that she was reaching a whole new level of pathetic.

"Maybe you should see a doctor Sarah, you've been run down for like the past week," the concern in his voice was obvious. "How about I go and get some soup and bring it over? Or Chinese, you can never say no to those fried cheese crab things."

"I'm fine, I don't need a doctor. I need a vacation. And that sounds nice, better hurry though I've had a few glasses of wine."

"I'll be over in twenty minutes," he promised.

"Bye." Sarah ended the call. "Jesus Christ, get a grip Sarah. If he was going to call he would have." The cat, still just called the cat, looked over at her when she spoke but then looked away.

The picture could have scared him off or her boldness in giving her number or any possible combination of things. In the past few months she'd sensed that he was starting to feel guilty about the letters and perhaps he was right. They certainly hadn't crossed a line but the letters were getting more intimate.

The phone rang again. "Jesus Kozik, they're crab rangoon," it was something she had to tell him every time he ordered Chinese for them and she half suspected that he always messed up the name so that she would just take pity on him and do the ordering and picking up herself.

"This isn't Kozik," Opie cleared his throat, "is this a bad time?"

"Op?" Sarah stumbled and it wasn't because of the wine, it was because the sound of his voice made every muscle in her body go weak.

"Hey, you said to call so I'm calling. If it's a bad time..."

"It's not, Kozik's just picking up dinner for us," she explained quickly, "I didn't think that you were going to call."

"I'd have called sooner but I got a few days in the hole, these assholes were giving my cell mate a hard time and I..." he paused, "I intervened."

Sarah smiled into the phone. "By intervened you mean beat their asses?"

"Yeah, something like that. Shit, he's just a kid and skinny as hell. I couldn't just stand there and do nothing."

"Of course you couldn't," her smile widened and she sat down, "that's what makes you great."

"I'm not great Sarah."

"We'll agree to differ on that," she let out a laugh, "so, how are you?"

"I'm good," he was better than he'd been in a while just by hearing her voice, Opie wasn't sure what that meant, "they don't give us a lot of time. How are you?"

"I'm great, just tired which is why Kozik's bringing me dinner."

"So, you two hang out a lot?"

Sarah heard his unasked question and decided to face it head on. "There's nothing going on with the two of us Op, we're just friends. He's been great to me and nothing but respectful, I promise."

"You seeing anyone?"

"Right now, no." Sarah nibbled nervously on her bottom lip, "I'm a little gun shy since Matt I guess."

"Is it... do I..." He tried to start the sentence several times, she knew what he was trying to ask.

"I..." she nearly told him that none of it was because of him but that wouldn't be true. She'd have numerous offers for dates but she'd never been really interested. Part of it was because of Matt, she knew that but part of it was because she'd rather spend the night writing to Opie than making small talk and fending off unwanted advances. "I know that you're married Opie and that there's no chance that we're going to ever be anything more than friends. I won't put that on you, I won't."

"I care about you Sarah, fuck you know that I do. Baby I..." he let out a heavy sigh as he heard the guard call out and realized that he'd slipped up and called her Baby again. What the fuck was he doing? "I've got to go, they're calling for count."

"Write me?" She asked aware at how desperately sounding the words came out.

"I will," he promised, "I can call you again if you want."

"That would be good," she told him, "take care Op."

Sarah hung the phone up, wiped her hands over her cheeks to take away any trace of the tears that were falling. What had she gotten herself into? She was back in love with Opie Winston and there wasn't anything that she could do to stop the way that she felt.

3

_You never asked me what I thought of your picture, I should have told you how beautiful you look in it. I like your hair like that, it's longer than I can ever remember seeing it. I look at it all the time, probably more often than I should._

_That's fitting because I think about you more than I should and I don't know what that says about me. I love my wife, love my kids and I can't wait to get home to them but at the same time I can see things being different._

_I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you._

Sarah read the letter for the third time, curled up in her bed. It was probably wrong that she was glad he was conflicted but at least she wasn't the only one feeling that way. She'd turned down a date with a really good looking guy because he wasn't Opie just the other day which really had to say something about her mental state.

His conflict was obvious in his letters or when they spoke. He was calling several times a week now, she dreaded knowing what her phone bill was going to be but at the same time would have paid any price. Sarah knew that he bore guilt over talking and writing her behind Donna's lap and that guilt was partially her fault, after all she'd written him first and then given her number to him.

She reached for the phone as it rang. "Hello?"

"Hey," Opie said, "this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. I was just..." thinking about you, I'm always thinking about you. Sarah utilized her ability to censor herself. "I was just laying down, reading."

"You always did love to read. What are you reading now?"

"It by Stephen King," she said the first title that came to mind.

"That freaky clown shit?"

"Yes, the freaky clown shit. I've read it before of course but it's a good book no pun intended."

"Maybe I'll take it out of the library here," he told her. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I got your letter today. I'm glad you liked the picture but I'm not glad that you seem so conflicted about writing to me and talking to me. I'm sorry if I pushed too hard Opie, maybe I shouldn't have written you and I probably shouldn't have given you my number. I'm sorry, I don't want to make you feel like you've done something wrong."

"Sarah," he cut her off before she could say anything else, "I'm damn glad that you wrote me and that I can hear your voice now. Don't apologize for that, don't ever apologize for that." His voice was angry now. "You have no idea how I..."

"How you what?"

"How I feel," he sighed into the phone, "and I've got no right to say it but it's true. I don't think that I ever stopped... loving you."

"I know the feeling," Sarah inhaled deeply and blinked her eyes several times to get rid of the tears that were gathering there, "and we're not doing anything wrong. It's just... talking."

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "just friends who care about each other."

"Nothing more." Sarah tried to repeat the words over and over to herself, to convince herself that it was the truth but her heart knew that it was a lie. He had to know that it was a lie but there were some lies that needed to be told. "So, you've got a birthday coming up again. Any hints as to a present?"

"Don't spend all that money on a package again, I know what I want." Again Opie cleared his throat, he didn't know quite how to ask her for what he wanted but he knew that he didn't want her spending any more money with all she was already spending on the phone bill.

"Well don't make me guess goof, tell me," Sarah held the phone tighter, not sure what exactly he could want that wouldn't come in a package but knowing that there was nothing that she'd say no to. For a terrifying moment she wondered if he was going to ask her to visit him.

"Will you send me more pictures? Maybe one of you in a dress or something?"

"That's all that you want?" Relief flooded through her, pictures she could handle without a problem. If he'd have asked her to visit him, she would have said yes even though the idea of seeing him scared the shit out of her. Things were getting intense just with the conversations and letters, if she saw him she knew that there would be no turning back for her.

"I know that you hate pictures," he told her, "so?"

"Okay, I'll send you pictures. Kozik was screwing around with my camera the other day and took some of me."

Opie stopped himself before he asked what they were doing when he took the pictures. Kozik had never done anything to make him think that he'd try anything with Sarah but the thought nagged at him. She was so beautiful, sweet and caring. What if their friendship started to lead to something else? "Didn't know he liked taking pictures."

"I think he does it to piss me off because he knows I hate them too but I guess that it's going to come in handy this time. I'll get something in the mail tomorrow, I promise."

"Thanks, so how's everything with you? Work?"

"It's going good, the people are assholes sometimes but that's anywhere I guess." She leaned back against the pillow. "Got to admit, I've been looking forward to checking my mail and answering my phone more than usual lately."

"I know the feeling," he sighed again. "Baby, I've got to go. I'll call you soon though I don't want to cost you too much money."

"Don't worry about the money, look at all I'm saving with not having to get you a package this year. Be safe Opie." Her stomach was still tied in tight knots from the way that he called her Baby, he only did it when their calls were about to end.

"You too Sarah. I..."

Whatever he was going to say was lost and that was most likely for the best. She replaced the phone onto the table next to the bed and carefully folded the letter so that she could put it with the others. There were dozens, maybe even a hundred of them by now. Some of them were only a few lines and others were page upon page of his cramped handwriting.

In those letters she'd gotten to once again know the man who she'd loved so desperately as a teenager and now he was the man that she loved desperately as an adult, despite knowing better.

3

Opie's jealousy of Kozik grew by leaps and bounds as he flipped through the pictures that Sarah had sent him. There were six in all, three taken outside and in one she was wearing a dress. He hadn't pictured a flowing summer type dress when he'd made the request but that's what she had on, it was white with an intricate floral pattern in all the colors of the rainbow along the hem and bust line, the contrast to her tanned skin and dark hair worked and made his cock harden painfully.

It only got harder at the pictures taken inside of the house, they were obviously not staged. In one she was simply sitting on the couch, her attention focused on something probably the television and she wore a pair of short denim shorts and a tank top that covered enough to make his imagination go wild.

He unfolded the letter last, settled back and began to read.

_Hope you like these, I took a seriously long time to make the decision of which to send. I left out several of Kozik's favorites because I was asleep in all of them. Never leave that man drunk around a camera, I swear. He keeps asking to borrow it but I don't want it getting sweet butt cooties though he has been seeing one girl in particular for a while, well a while for Kozik._

_Feels like this isn't enough for your birthday. Do you remember when you turned eighteen? The party at the club house? That feels like it was both yesterday and a million years ago. I thought that I was so clever being your present, it was probably lame. That's always been one of my favorite nights ever, we had so much fun. It was perfect. Sure, it all went to shit after but in the moment it was perfect._

_I'm actually heading out with one of the girls from work. She's only been there a month or so and she seems nice. We're going to get a drink at some little bar she likes and then maybe go to the movies or something. I've got to go get dressed and stuff but I hope to hear from you before you get this._

_I probably shouldn't admit how much I look forward to your calls._

Opie folded the letter, placed it beneath the mattress. It was Tuesday now, the letters took a few days to reach him. He hoped that she'd had fun, it bothered him how much she stayed in even if it was a relief that she wasn't hanging out at the club house all the time. It was selfish of him but he didn't want her to meet someone, especially one of his Brothers.

3 3 3

It only took Sarah answering the phone for Opie to know that something was wrong with her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she replied, "it's just not a good time for me to talk right now."

"What's going on? Damn it Sarah, talk to me." He demanded.

"It's nothing, I'm just busy right now. Can't I be busy? I do have a fucking life besides talking or writing you, in case you've forgotten." Sarah snapped the words into the phone.

"What are you getting pissy at me for?" Opie said, "I just asked you a question, don't bite my god damn head off. I never said you don't have a life, hell you just went out the other night, right?"

Sarah laughed without humor, yeah she'd gone out that night. It had taken her nice little life from quiet and content to fucking chaos. "Yeah, that was a real good time."

"What happened?"

"We went to some dive bar," Sarah told him, she could still see the events of the night in her mind, "there were bikers there, some other club, I think they were like biker want to be types. Anyway, that brought up the subject of bikers and she'd seen me with Kozik a few times so she started to ask me questions, I didn't say anything really. Then she wanted to go to the club house because it was Friday and she said that she'd heard there were great parties there."

"So you brought her there with you?"

"I know, I knew it was a mistake as soon as we got there. People knew who she was and then everything just went to shit. Turns out that she used to see Lorca pretty regularly until she became a little bit like a stalker."

"Jesus Christ," Opie pressed his hand to his forehead, "what happened?"

"He flipped when he saw her, demanded to know who brought her and when I said it was me he told me to get the fuck out and not come back," Sarah sighed. "And then the girl that Lorca's seeing now came in and well if I thought that it was hell before, I was wrong."

"What happened?"

"A fight broke out," she looked down at her still bruised knuckles, "it turned into an all female brawl."

"A what?"

"It was... fucking insane and the next thing I knew I was getting thrown out with the god damn sweet butts. I know I screwed up, I do. I should have known something was wrong that she wanted to go out with me to begin with."

"Where was Kozik?" Opie asked through clenched teeth, Kozik was supposed to be watching out for her and making sure that shit like this didn't happen. Sarah in a sweet butt cat fight? He couldn't even imagine it.

"He was with this girl he's been seeing, he's..." she laid her head back against the pillow, "he's beyond pissed with me too."

"Sarah, club houses aren't like a night club. You can't just..."

"I know! I wasn't thinking. Didn't you just hear me say I fucked up?" Her voice rose and she didn't bother to try to hide it. "I'm paying the price and I don't mean that I can't go to the clubhouse anymore. I went to work yesterday after the weekend and was told that they're downsizing. I've got a week more of work and then I'm out."

"Jesus Christ, I thought they were doing good."

"They are, I think that Natalie had something to do with it. She's the one I went out with and she knows the owner. I... fucked up Op."

Opie shut his eyes as he heard her begin to cry. "Come on Baby, listen to me," he said into the phone, "you'll find another job. You're smart and got all kinds of experience. It's going to be okay."

"Is it?" Sarah demanded. "Is it really? Let's take stock of my life quickly. I've got no job but rent and bills to pay. I had Kozik but he won't even answer the phone when I call now so I've really got no friends here now. The freaking stray cat I adopted decided it likes living outside better than living with me and, oh yeah I'm in love with a married man."

"What did you just say?" Opie was sure he'd heard her right, he wanted to have heard her right but at the same time what she said took what they were doing to another level. He was married and he wasn't going to turn his back on his family, he wasn't that sort of man.

"You heard me Opie," Sarah sniffled loudly, "I'm sorry, I know that you don't need any more shit on your plate. You're so close to being out and going back to your life. I should just... we should just.."

"Baby, don't cry. Come on Sarah, you know I don't have much time. Listen to me, I care about you. You know that I do."

"And here comes the but. Don't say it Opie, I know it. You love Donna. You love your kids and you're going back to your family. I want you to do that, I want them to make you happy." Sarah sat up. "I think that this should be the last time that we talk. It's too... it's too hard for me to separate what I want from what I can have."

"No." Opie all but roared the word into the phone. The calls to Sarah were one of the few things that made being inside bearable. He knew it wasn't right but he talked to her more than he talked to his own wife. "Baby..."

"You keep calling me that, I close my eyes and I hear it. It's like I'm fucking seventeen again and it hurts."

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone," he cleared his throat, "if you don't want to talk anymore, I won't call but don't make that decision right now. My time is up."

"Take care of yourself Opie," Sarah placed the phone back into the cradle and didn't let him say anything else. At that moment she was sure that she wouldn't write him, she would leave things as they were and leave him to his family, they were the ones who deserved him.

She'd had her chance all those years before and blown it, once she'd turned eighteen and broken free of her mother's hold she should have high tailed it back to Charming regardless of what she'd heard about Opie's life after she'd left. If she'd have done that before he married Donna than maybe they would have had a shot.

3

This time the letters didn't come back return to sender so Opie had to assume that she'd received them. His phone calls went unanswered until he decided to stop trying to call at all because each time she didn't answer he just got more pissed off.

The worst part of it all was that he knew that he had no right to be pissed. Hell, Sarah was probably right. Things had gotten too intense between them, too intimate and she wasn't the only one feeling pain from it. He felt as strongly as she did, torn between the love that had blossomed for her and the love that he had for his wife and family.

Opie reached beneath his mattress, the stash of letters he kept there had grown almost to the point that he could feel them beneath the thin foam as he slept. It was a comfort to him to know that they were there, they had given him a way to get through the time, for that he'd always be thankful and grateful.

It was time for him to put the past in it's place and work for a future with his wife and family. Donna certainly deserved that and more for all the shit she'd put up with from him and the time that she'd spent raising their kids alone. He loved her. She was his world and nothing changed that, he'd just gotten caught up in memories.

Memories weren't real, they weren't the future and they couldn't mean anything more yet it still bothered him to throw out the stack of letters, he'd read each one enough times to practically have them memorized and keeping them would just make his decision harder. Now wasn't the time to second guess what he'd decided, really what they'd decided, it was time for a fresh start and a second chance with the family that he'd be with soon enough.

No matter what he'd chosen, no matter how hard he tried he wasn't able to throw out the pictures as well.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Sons of Anarchy.

A/N: Thank you for all the reads, reviews, follows and favorites. This story is really dear to me so it thrills me to no end that you're enjoying it as much as I am.

CHAPTER FOUR

It had been three months since she the last letter that Sarah had sent Opie, there were letters she wrote that she never sent because what she was feeling wasn't right, not by a long shot. There was no way to justify the way she felt for her very married ex, no way at all when he was married to a woman he loved with two kids that he loved. There was no place in that for her at all.

She sat at her favorite little diner, a plate of French Toast in front of her and a steaming cup of coffee just waiting to be drunk. Her head was throbbing, she was more than a little hung over. In fact she actually felt like puking at the mere sight of the food so she decided to start with the coffee.

"Excuse me?" A voice said from a table over. "May I borrow your ketchup?"

"Oh, sure." Sarah would have had to be blind to not see how handsome the man was, his eyes were a piercing shade of green and his smile made her stomach flip slowly. "Here you go."

"Thanks," he reached for the bottle, "your food looks good."

"The French Toast is the best here," she was comfortable making small talk because she did it all day long at work with customers. In fact small talk was the only real human contact she had these days.

"I'll have to try it," he set the bottle down and extended his hand to her. "My name is Jeremy."

"I'm Sarah," She took his hand with a genuine smile. It had been a long time since she'd felt a pull towards anyone, the last person had been Matt and that had been a colossal mistake.

"So Sarah, what do you say you share your French Toast with me and I'll share my eggs and bacon with you?"

"What if I'm a vegetarian and don't eat bacon?" She countered to buy herself some time because it was clear that he was flirting with her.

"I saw you eat a burger the other night," he pointed out, "I come here a lot. It'd be a lie to say that I didn't notice you."

She hadn't noticed him, she hadn't been looking. What else did she miss? "I have to admit that I didn't notice you."

"I'm not surprised, you've usually buried in a book or writing something. Are you a writer?"

"Not particularly," Sarah took a sip of her coffee. What was the harm in having breakfast with a handsome stranger? It was just breakfast after all, he was probably just lonely and maybe she was too. These days she was by herself a lot since Kozik started seeing some woman that she'd never asked to meet because she'd made that mistake before. He never got serious and had left a few broken hearts behind him. She'd gotten close to a few of them but it had always ended badly. "Are you going to join me or am I going to join you?"

"I'll join you," he transferred his plate and glass to her table quickly and sat down.

"You forgot the ketchup," Sarah pointed out with a smile.

"Maybe I should admit that I'm a little nervous, I've been trying to get the nerve up to talk to you. I might have even hid my original ketchup bottle just for an excuse to talk to you."

"Why not just say hello?"

"Figured I needed to grab your attention first," he sat back down across from her and smiled at her. "So, do you want bacon or eggs?"

"You said I get both," Sarah replied, she knew that she was blushing and somehow it didn't feel as embarrassing as it should. He was nice, seemed sweet and certainly not hard on the eyes. "I'm going to share all my French Toast."

"How about this? You can have whatever you want," he suggested, smile still firmly in place. He was charming, really charming and the truth was Sarah was really ready to be charmed.

"That's a rather broad offer, I could ask for anything," she pointed out.

"I like to live a little dangerously."

3

Opie hadn't been expected to get a visit and when he walked into the hall and saw Donna sitting there he was floored. She rose to her feet as he approached, a nervous smile on her face. "Surprise."

"Sure is," he embraced her quickly, let go of her long before he wanted to because the last thing that he needed was the guards intervening, "I can't believe that you're here."

"I realized how long it's been, it was time so I asked Piney if he'd look after the kids and Jax let me borrow his truck. The wagon needs new breaks, it would have never made it up here." Donna sat down, smoothed her hands over her lap nervously. "Wasn't sure that you'd want to see me. I've been... I've been a bitch Opie, there's no other way to say it."

"I know that this isn't easy for you and that's on me," he looked down at his hands, "I'm really glad that you're here. You look so beautiful."

"Oh stop," Donna blushed and pushed her hair back behind her ears. She was glad that he'd noticed she'd made an extra effort and it had been an effort to keep her makeup intact on the drive up because the air conditioner in Jax's truck left a lot to be desired but she was happy to be driving it. "You've gotten so much bigger than the last time. Guess you're hitting the weight room pretty hard."

"Got to do something to pass the time," he replied, "it helps the day go by faster."

"You don't have that much longer left," she pointed out, "only two years left to go and then you'll be home. That's not that long at all, it'll be over before we know it and then you'll be back home."

"That's right," Opie felt his heart race as she reached out and took his hand, "I'm going to make every day of the time up to you Donna. I promise. I love you."

"I love you too Opie, I love you so much and so do the kids. We can't lose you again."

"You won't, I swear."

"So things will be different," Donna met his eyes, "things are going to change?"

"What are you getting at Babe?" He was pretty sure that he knew but he wanted to hear her say it, hear her tell him that she was talking about the club.

"What do you think I'm getting at Opie? I'm talking about the club. You're in here because of them, because of something that they asked you to do. Your own kids don't know you because of them!"

"I love you Donna, I love the kids. You know that," he tried to choose his words carefully, he didn't want her to have come all this way just for them to fight, "and you know that I love the club too. I know what you're thinking but I made the choices that ended me up here."

"How can you still love them Op? How?" Her voice rose and one of the guards glanced over. She seemed to remember her surroundings and sucked in a deep breath. "I'm not saying that you need to cut all ties but I need you to come home and have things be different. I need a husband and our kids need a father."

"I'm going to be your husband and be a good father," he told her, "you'll see."

"I hope that I do," Donna squeezed his hand, "I brought pictures of the kids but they said that I couldn't bring them in. I didn't realize. I'll mail them."

"Tell me about them, tell me everything. Is Jax bringing you money?"

"He comes once a week, gives me an envelope." Donna confirmed. "I take it but I don't like it, I don't like it at all. I don't need charity."

"It's not charity Donna, it's the same as the money that I'd be bringing in if I were home." The only way it wasn't the same was that there was less of it, enough for her and the kids to survive but not enough for her to save the way he'd have been storing money away if he was home.

"It's..." she looked around, lowered her voice, "it's dirty money. I don't want it from them or from you. In fact, I've already talked to George over at the mill, there's a job there for you when you get out earning clean money."

Opie would rather cut his hand off with a saw than work one all day long but he couldn't tell her that. She'd made so many sacrifices that it was only fair he made some. "That sounds good Babe, really good." He said instead.

For the first time during the visit Donna relaxed visibly and they passed the rest of the time with her talking about the kids and what was going on in her life. When the guard called for the end of the visit Opie decided a kiss from his wife was worth the chance of getting in trouble. The guards looked the other way.

3

"What's this?" Jeremy asked as his hand stroked over the surface of the box on Sarah's bedside table.

She lifted her head from the pillow to see what he was talking about. "Oh, I just keep random stuff in there, keeps it neater." Sarah laid her head back down but her pulse was racing higher than it had been before. The box that Jeremy had noticed wasn't just to keep things neat, it was the box that held all of her letters from Opie as well as other important papers and things that she liked to keep safe and close.

"That's a good idea," he turned towards her, "so, having second thoughts?"

"About?" she tried to keep a straight face and failed, it was obvious what he was talking about. Six months into their relationship this was the first time that he'd stayed over and the first time that they'd been together.

"What do you think?" He smiled at her, it really was a perfect smile and he was the perfect guy. He had a job, his own place, no serious debts, didn't drink or party to excess and he was kind. He was sweet and he treated her like she was the only woman in the world.

"Hmmm..." Sarah turned to face him, "I don't know if I have enough facts to form an opinion just yet."

"Is that your way of saying that you want to go again?"

"Maybe," she teased and let out a shriek of laughter as his hands found her sides beneath the covers. He'd learned quickly how ticklish she was and would often use it to his advantage. She put up no real fight as he shifted so that he was on top of her.

"Well, let me provide you with all the facts that you need. I'd hate for you to make a rash decision." Jeremy's mouth covered hers and she gave herself fully into the kiss, fully into him.

3

"The bills are adding up Opie," Donna sighed into the phone, "and I don't know how much longer I can keep us above water."

"I'll talk to Jax, get him to give you some extra. It'll be fine."

"No, I don't want another penny of that dirty money," her tone told him that her mind was made up. She could be exceptionally stubborn when the mood struck. "I've talked to Mary, she's willing to watch the kids while I go out and get a job."

"The kids should be with you Donna, not my mother." Opie resisted the urge to bang his head into the wall just barely. "What about the day care?"

"And add on another bill? No. Mary says that she'll watch them and when she can't Piney will."

"The old man? Are you even listening to yourself? He's half in a bottle of tequila most of the time. He loves the kids but he barely had patience for me and he was a whole lot younger."

"Well these are my choices Opie and it's not like you're here to help me. Is it?" She snapped. "I'm sorry, I know that you don't get much time and I didn't want to fight with you."

Opie was pretty sure that she had known that it would cause a fight and was now backtracking to try to smooth it over. "It's only six more months Donna, six more months and then I'll be home. Let me talk to Jax, at least for the money for the daycare." He hated to ask his best friend for anything but he knew that he could and that Jax would take care of it. Most likely the money would come from the club but Donna never needed to know that.

Keeping secrets probably wasn't the best thing to do in a marriage but what choice did he have? It was what was best for the kids, they should be with other kids and not solely with his parents. "Fine, but you make sure that you tell him we're paying every penny back. I mean it Op."

"Alright Babe, every penny."

"I need to get the kids in the tub, I can't wait until you're home and we can do it together or better yet you can do it while I have a glass of wine."

"You can have a whole bottle of wine," he grinned into the phone, "especially if it goes to your head like it used to."

"Opie!"

"What? Come on Babe, can't tell me that you're not thinking about that part of me being home." He grinned into the phone, knowing that she was blushing bright red. Donna was pretty shy when it came down to it.

"Well, I may have given it a passing thought now and then," she admitted. "And that's all that I'm going to say."

"Alright, fine. Tease me," he kidded. "I love you Donna."

"I love you too Opie."

3

"SARAH!" Kozik screamed her name as she walked into the clubhouse. "It's about time!"

"You called me ten minutes ago," she shouted back and waved at Lorca who let out a loud whistle at the sight of her.

"You like four minutes away or wait, were you not home? You were with pretty boy, weren't you?"

"He has a name." Sarah replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Jeremy, fucking pretty boy name too." Kozik replied.

"If you called me to come here just to make fun of Jeremy, I'm going home." Sarah told him, it was no secret that Kozik wasn't Jeremy's biggest fan.

"Hey Cara," he flagged down one of the passing sweet butt's, "bring Sarah a drink. What do you want?"

"Vodka and Red Bull, please."

"Sure thing," the woman replied.

"Look alive Brothers, Charming will be here in two minutes."

"Charming?" Sarah looked over to Kozik.

"Oh yeah, the guys from your old stomping grounds are coming to visit," he grinned, "is that a problem?"

"No, no problem." Most of them wouldn't remember her even if Kozik reminded them, it had been a long time since she'd been in Charming. "Is that why you wanted me here?"

"I wanted you here because I missed you, it's been weeks since we hung out."

"Aw, you missed me?"

"He missed looking at your tits," Lorca let out a snort of laughter, "to be honest we all did."

Sarah wasted no time flipping him the middle finger. They may have had a few rocky moments back when she'd brought his stalker to the club house but now she considered the man her friend. In fact she considered most of them her friends. "Plenty of tits to look at around here."

"Want to see some? I can tell any of them to show 'em to you and they will," he offered with a grin.

"Thanks but maybe later."

"Don't know what you're missing, this one has great tits. Right Cara?" He patted her ass as she passed him and she grinned in response.

"If you say so Lorca," the woman set Sarah's drink down in front of her, "we only had sugar free Red Bull."

"That's the best kind. Thank you Cara." She grabbed the glass and took a gulp, if she'd had realized that Charming was coming than she would have declined Kozik's invitation even though she was sure the odds of them remembering her were slim. It was better not to take a chance.

"Welcome," the woman wandered off towards the door which was no big surprise. When other charters visited they always wanted entertainment and the sweet butts were always looking for a little bit of variety.

"So, when are you gonna bring this new guy around?" Lorca asked. "Dying to meet him."

Sarah resisted the urge to roll her eyes, the grilling that Jeremy had suffered at Kozik's hands was enough for her. She wasn't about to bring him around the rest of SAMTAC especially when he didn't get them or her friendship with them. They were, in his eyes, a group of common criminals. It was one area that they'd agreed to disagree because she had no intention of cutting them out of her life.

Thankfully the sound of bikes outside drew everyone's attention. Sarah knew her place, she followed the guys out the door but hung back as the two groups of men greeted each other. It was like being sucked back into the past as she recognized the faces. Her heart thudded in her chest as she saw Piney get off of his bike.

Damned if the old man didn't look right over at her, out of all the faces in the crowd, for a split second surprise showed on his face but then it was gone. Perhaps he hadn't really even seen her or she was just imagining things. "Shit," Sarah downed the rest of her drink and decided that she needed to head inside and get another. Behind the bar she poured a glass that was mostly vodka and downed it in four long swallows.

"Saving any for the rest of us?" The voice was all too familiar, she'd once been good friends with the owner but that had changed somewhere along the line as they got older and she'd started to date Opie.

"Hey Jax," she turned with what she hoped was a pleasant smile but she suspected it looked more like a guilty one.

"Good to see you Sarah," he replied. "Grab me a beer?" He didn't seem surprised at all to see her.

"Sure. Thought you'd still be outside catching up," she said which showed how flawed her plan of coming inside for a drink was. She should have slipped away, got in her car and gone home.

"Riding is thirsty work," he lit a cigarette and leaned against the bar, "how's Tacoma treating you?"

"Good, really good. How are things in Charming?" Sarah set a beer down on the bar for him. She'd be polite, give him whatever he wanted to drink and make small talk though she had a feeling that the topic wasn't going to be so small.

"They're good," he lifted the beer. "It's also good you stopped that shit with Opie."

"Excuse me?" Sarah decided to act like she hadn't heard him, mentally counted to ten in her head to keep from telling him to mind his own business.

"Writing to each other, talking on the phone," he clarified, "that shit wasn't good for him. No point in stirring up the past. He's got a wife and family and they mean the world to him."

"No one ever said that they didn't." Sarah poured herself another drink. It was clear that the conversation was about to turn less than civil and she wanted to avoid that. No matter what her standing was at the club house it wouldn't do a damn thing for her if she got into it with the mother charter's Vice President.

Thankfully the doors opened and people began to pour in, it didn't take long before someone called out to Jax and he walked away from the bar. It was Sarah's intention to slip out from behind the bar and leave but as everyone began to pour into the bar they started to place orders. Without a prospect in sight she sighed and began to fill the orders, at least it gave her something to do with herself.

Inside she was furious, fuming that Jax would butt his pointy little beard into something that was private between her and Opie. They'd done nothing wrong, even if they were still writing to one another and having conversations it wouldn't be hurting anyone except maybe for her.

"I'll be damned," Piney sat down, his oxygen container made a clanging sound as he placed it on the bar, "that you Girlie?" He squinted through the haze of smoke.

Sarah was tempted not to respond but she couldn't bring herself to do anything but smile at the man who had been one of her favorite people when she was a teenager. She'd often wished that her parents were more like him. "Hey," she replied, "let me guess, tequila?"

"You always were a smart one," he replied, "just make it easy on yourself, bring me the bottle and a straw. You stay away from it though, took me damn near a week to get all the puke off my boots the last time I remember you getting into a bottle."

"I was seventeen Mr. Winston," she reminded him as she felt her face flush. That had actually been the very last time she'd drank tequila because the hangover that followed had nearly killed her.

"Don't start that Mr. Winston shit," he advised as he looked around the bar, "you call me Piney like you always did."

Sarah was suddenly reminded of the few times she'd slipped and called him Pop just the way that Opie always had. "Sorry Piney," she shook away the memory. "How's it going?"

"Just dandy," he patted the oxygen tank, "the world is my god damn oyster." Piney studied her, his expression making the resemblance between him and his son all the more obvious. "Unlike my son," his eyes narrowed, "he's not doing so good."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Are you?" He questioned. "Heard that the two of you stopped writing."

"You going to tell me it's good we stopped?" She really hoped that he wasn't because she could handle Jax being all broody and disapproving but she wouldn't feel as accepting if Piney felt the same way.

"You think it's good?" Piney let out a snort of laughter at her expression. "Don't ever play poker Girlie, you'll lose your shirt."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sarah wiped her hands on a dish towel, "I really should get going but it was nice to see you."

"Yeah, yeah."

Sarah leaned over the bar and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The good thing about Piney was that he didn't require much conversation, this was probably one of their longer ones. She slipped from behind the bar without another word. Kozik was in the middle of talking to Jax so she didn't bother saying goodbye.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own the Sons of Anarchy.

A/N: Again, big thanks to everyone who has read this. I really love this story and while the updates are slower than I've done in the past rest assured they'll keep coming. Special thanks go to LaughingWarrior and R3-1 M4Y3R for all of their support with this story.

CHAPTER FIVE

"Happy Birthday Sarah," Kozik grabbed her in a hug and lifted her off of the ground. "Holy shit, pretty boy pulled out all the stops, didn't he?" He looked around the banquet room of the hotel, all decorated for her thirtieth birthday.

"He's got a name Koz," she pointed out though she knew that he knew it very well. Jeremy was a really nice guy, she'd been seeing him for nearly a year and a half. "I'm surprised that you came." She smoothed her dress with her hand as he set her down.

"Wouldn't have missed your fancy ass party," Kozik looked around the room once more, it was nice but it wasn't exactly Sarah. "So, do I give you your present now?"

"You didn't have to get me anything," she told him, "but I think that we're doing presents later." Sarah took a good look at him and knew that he wasn't going to stay. The truth was she was surprised that he'd even shown up because this most certainly wasn't his scene. "You're just doing a drop in, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted, "but it's not what you're thinking. I'm riding out, heading to Charming actually." A smile crossed his face. "Aren't you going to ask me why?"

"You weren't just going to tell me even if I didn't ask?" she teased, Kozik liked to talk and knew that he could always talk to her. He probably told her some things that he shouldn't have over the years but his secrets were safe with her.

"Yeah, probably," he slung his arm over her shoulder and guided her away from the crowd, "maybe I shouldn't tell you why but I think that you'd want to know."

"What's going on Herman?"

"Opie's out, they're having a welcome home thing for him and I thought that I should show my face." Kozik rubbed his hand over her arm.

"It's good that he's home, I'm glad," Sarah smiled, she was glad. It would be a lie to say that she hadn't measured the passing of time, she had. "Tell him..." she stopped herself, "no, don't tell him anything from me."

"You ready for your present?" Kozik saw the way that her expression changed, he didn't even think that she realized it.

"There you are Honey," Jeremy walked over to them with a smile. He was a good looking, seriously clean cut guy who looked perfectly comfortable in his suit even though Sarah had insisted that the party would be casual, "Hello Kozik."

"Jeremy," Kozik smiled at him, "I was just stealing your girl away so I could give her a present before I had to take off." He kept his arm around her shoulder as he spoke, partially because he knew that it annoyed Jeremy and the other part because he could see that what he'd told her had bothered her, not that she was going to admit it.

"It is her day," Jeremy reached out and stroked his hand over the side of her face, "when you're done here there are some other people who'd like to say hello."

"I'll be over there in a minute," Sarah told him.

"He's really got a stick up his ass sometimes, huh?" Kozik grinned and reached into the inside pocket of his cut. "Well, I'm not good at wrapping shit so I didn't bother."

"You going to propose to me or something?" The box was clearly one that contained jewelry and she took it with shaky hands.

"You wish, I know how long you've been trying to get at me," Kozik watched as she carefully opened the box. "If you don't like it..."

"I love it," Sarah laughed and slid the skull ring onto the middle finger of her right hand. "It's kind of like yours."

"Little more girlie than mine," he smirked. She'd always liked his rings, even when she was just a kid in Charming, "if you throw any punches with that thing you're going to break someone's jaw, just remember..."

"Don't tuck my pinky in, I know. Jesus, that was one time and I was like seventeen," Sarah protested, "and that bitch shouldn't have pushed up on Opie in front of me."

"Didn't mean to bring up any memories with the ring Sar, I just..."

Sarah shook her head, leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love it Kozik and I love you. You are my best friend."

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself," he said with a wink. "Go on, get to your party. I've got to get on the road, it's a long fucking ride to Charming."

3

Sarah laughed as Jeremy twirled her around the dance floor. She was quite properly drunk, feeling great and having the time of her life. The DJ was playing a song she didn't know but that didn't matter. She'd been worried about turning thirty, it turned out that it didn't really matter. Being thirty felt great, she was doing really well for herself with a decent job and a nice apartment. She even had a really great guy in front of her.

Jeremy pulled her close, spoke in her ear. "Let's get out of here, I've got somewhere that I want to take you."

"Oh?" She smiled at him. "What are you taking me there for?"

"You'll see," he took her hand to tug her towards the door, "I promise that you'll like it, I think you'll even love it."

"Well, if it's what I think it is I do love it," Sarah playfully slid her hand over his stomach, "and I hope that we don't have to go far."

"We're in public Sarah," Jeremy grabbed her hand and pulled it away, "people can see us."

Sarah bit back a sigh, Jeremy was a really nice guy. Sometimes she wondered if he was too nice a guy, especially when he got all prim and proper with her like he was doing now. He never really just let loose with her and she'd tried to get him to do so. "I need to use the facilities before we go," she took her hands out of his, "I'll just be a minute."

"Hurry back," he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She returned the kiss but he kept it light, no matter what she tried because of the people around.

In the bathroom Sarah leaned back against the wall, shut her eyes. "Get a fucking grip," she ordered herself. Now was not the time to start doubting her relationship with Jeremy. He treated her like gold, they were always going out and doing things. It was fun and nice and all the things that she should want for herself, there was no reason to think differently just because Kozik had brought up Opie.

He was the past, she had to leave him there because there was no place in his life for her, he had his family and a wife that he loved and she was glad for that. Glad that he'd be happy. Hell, he probably never even thought about her any more anymore even if she still thought about him more than she'd like.

3

Opie hadn't expected so many people to show up for him, he was a little in awe and Donna was a little pissed. Actually she was a lot pissed that they were spending the first night they had a babysitter at the club house, she stood stiffly next to him. "You want a drink?"

"No," she crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm not thirsty."

He wanted to tell her to relax, lighten up and have some fun like they used to but that would just start the fight that was already brewing between them. It had been building since the first night he'd gotten home when they'd finally been alone. Hell, icy was a kind description of the mood between them. "You want something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry either Opie. I want to go home, now. We talked about this, about more time for us and our family and this isn't what I had in mind."

"We can't just leave Babe, these guys came a long way. It would be rude. Let's just have a little fun, a few drinks and then we can head home to our nice empty house just the two of us." Opie draped his arm around her shoulder, pulled her closer to him. "The two of us, all alone for the first time in five years? That sounds like a good night."

"We'll see what happens when we get home," Donna shifted out from under his arm, "I'm going to use the ladies room."

Opie sighed when she walked away, took a long sip from his beer. It was going to be another icy night, he could just tell. Donna saying will see was basically her saying no. Fuck, he didn't know how to get through to her.

"Hey Brother," Kozik came over with a grin, "good to see you not wearing orange."

"Good to see you too," Opie embraced Kozik briefly, "I can't believe that you guys came down."

"We needed to celebrate, right? Fuck, it is good to see you."

"How's everything?" Opie took another sip of his beer. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask how Sarah was, he didn't even know where the thought of her had come from. He hadn't thought of her in months except for when he'd carefully hidden the pictures that she'd sent him so they wouldn't be found. He just couldn't throw them in the garbage, it wasn't right.

"Good, real good," Kozik told him, "been quiet up in Tacoma, it's nice. How's everything with you?"

"Great, really fucking great," Opie finished his beer, "never better."

"No place like home, right? Five years is a long time to be inside, can fuck with your head unless you're careful. Shit, I was going crazy when I had to do three. The fucking noise never stopped."

"Yup," Opie nodded his head in agreement, he'd eventually been able to drown out the sound some but he'd always heard it on some level. "It's really fucking great to be home. You said it's quiet in Tacoma, that's good."

"Yeah, just some easy runs and lots of down time," Kozik chuckled, "been seeing this one woman for a while so the down time works for me."

"Always a horn dog, some things never change."

"Sarah said that to me just last week, she's doing good in case you were wondering. It was her birthday yesterday," Kozik motioned for a passing crow eater to bring them two beers, "can't believe that she's thirty."

Opie hadn't even realized it was her birthday. "So the two of you made up?"

"Made up?" Kozik frowned and then laughed, "the Lorca fiasco? I was never really mad, she didn't know that bitch was stalking Lorca. It blew over pretty quick. Not that she ever spent much time at the club house anyway, she was more content to sit at home with that damn stationary writing to you."

Opie didn't reply as the crow eater brought over their beers. He watched Kozik flirt with her briefly, the Tacoma SAA was always a hit with the ladies. The woman left with a promise to find Kozik later. "Can't help yourself, can you?"

"Apparently not," Kozik lifted his beer to Opie, "really good to see you home with your beautiful wife Brother. Hey Donna."

"Hi Kozik," Donna stopped next to Opie, "I'm not feeling so great, I'm just going to head home. You should stay, catch up with everyone."

"Give me ten minutes and then we'll go Babe."

"I'm really not feeling so good, I'll just see you at home." Donna didn't wait for a response, just moved through the crowd without looking back at her husband.

Kozik didn't know what to say, who would? He took another sip of his beer and looked around the room.

"I should go and..." Opie trailed off, shook his head, "fuck, I don't know what I should go and do."

"Probably isn't the best time for me to say this but shit, I've never been known for being tactful," Kozik finished his beer, "it really fucked her up in the head the way that she started to feel for you. She was like a zombie for months after, I'd find her just sitting around the house like her dog died. I didn't think that I was going to get her back."

Get her back? Opie glared at Kozik, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? How did he get her back. "She the woman you've been fucking?"

"No Man, that's not it but if it was you'd have no room to be pissed," he pointed out. Opie's reaction told him that clearly Sarah wasn't the only one who'd been affected by the correspondence. Kozik had hoped it was one sided, he'd wanted to mention her to Opie and see no real emotion but the man was about as angry as he'd ever seen him at the idea he was fucking Sarah.

"Didn't say I was pissed," Opie replied.

"Nah, you didn't have to. You look like you're about to knock my head off my shoulders. All that I was trying to tell you is you've chosen what life you want, let her have hers without getting all twisted up over you again. Looks like you don't need to be twisted up over her again either, you've got enough on your plate right now."

Opie just nodded, Kozik hadn't been far off on his guess that he wanted to knock his head off. Just the mere idea that he'd slept with Sarah was enough to make Opie's blood boil. "You staying around a while?"

"Few days, long enough to piss Tig off," Kozik said with a laugh, "go take care of your Old Lady, I'll see you later."

3

"Jer, what are we doing here?" She frowned as he came around the car to help her out. As he'd drove she'd realized their destination but for the life of her she couldn't understand exactly what they were doing at the Tacoma docks.

"We had our first date here, remember?" He took her hand and squeezed, a smile very much like the one he'd worn the first day they'd met on his face.

"Of course I remember," a tight feeling took over Sarah's stomach as suddenly she realized exactly why he'd brought her here. She'd had a few moments like this in her life when she knew for certain what was going to happen. No, she didn't think she was psychic she just had a keep sense of observation and was able to piece together things quickly, "Jer, why are we here?"

"Walk with me," he took her hand and began to lead her towards the water. She stumbled several times on her heels but he always made sure that she didn't fall. "Come on and sit."

Sarah sat because honestly it was too much effort to walk any longer, her legs were starting to ache from too much dancing and her feet were already hating her shoes which were fashionable but killer to be in all night. "Jeremy, I..."

"Wait, let me talk first," he sat down next to her, "I'm not sure how to say this so I'm just going to say it. I love you, I think I fell in love with you the first time we went out, when we came here and ate awful take out while watching the boats come in and out."

She remembered the date, it had been average for her. In fact she'd nearly not seen him again but he'd been sweet and she'd relented because it wasn't as if she had anything else to do with her time. The second date had been better, almost perfect with a night out starting with dinner and drinks and ending with them seeing an amazing indie band at some hole in the wall bar.

"It was the best date that I'd ever had and each once since has just been better and better. I look at you and I know that you're the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Sarah," he shifted from sitting next to her and dropped down on one knee, from his pocket he withdrew a small black velvet box, "and there is nothing in the world that would make me happier than if you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. Will you marry me Sarah?"

Sarah stared at the ring, at him and then back down again. Jeremy was a great guy and she did love him but she wasn't sure that she loved him enough to make the commitment that he was asking her for. "Jer, I love you. I do but I..."

"I know what you're going to say," he took her hands in his, "you're not sure that what you feel for me is strong enough to last and I know why."

"You do?" That was a surprise to Sarah, Jeremy was a lot of things but he wasn't exactly perceptive.

"I know that you were involved with someone before me, I know that he hurt you somehow and I'm sorry for that explained a lot of things, including why you said the name Opie in your sleep. For a while there I thought that you had some sort of old television fetish going on. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to decide to move on from him, I'm so proud that you could. I know that you loved him, I know that you still might but if it's really over with the two of you can you just really consider being with me? Marrying me?"

"It's over with him. It's been over for a very long time," Sarah told him and the words caused her stomach to roll and twist tightly. She might just throw up if she wasn't careful. "I'm just not sure that it's fair to you too take this ring and..."

"I want you to take it, you don't have to say yes right now. I don't want you to say yes right now, I want you to take time and think about it. And I'll even be able to give you some space to do that. I just want you to think about it, to wear this and think about it. Think about us and how great we'll be together."

She should have refused, she knew that she should have refused but he had such a hopeful expression on his face. He had a point they could be good together, they were good together now. She just wasn't certain that it was the right move for either of them. He rubbed his fingers over hers and she looked down at the ring. It was lovely, truly lovely if just a little bit too large for her taste.

"I'll think about it," she said finally even though her gut was telling her it was the wrong thing to do.

"That's all that I can ask," Jeremy was still kneeling in front of her and she met his lips when he shifted up, "I love you Sarah, so very much."

3

Opie was glad that he'd sprung for a couch large enough for him to be comfortable on. He'd arrived home fifteen minutes after Donna left because he'd been held up by Jax coming over to talk to him and he'd found her already in their bedroom with the door locked. No amount of talking on his part had convinced her to come out, even when he'd finally got her to talk to him.

They'd talked for almost an hour, she was hurt that he'd chosen to go to the party at the club house even if he'd brought her with him. Her bottom line was really clear and what he'd feared all the nights he lay awake in his cell. She wanted him to find a way out of the Sons. If it meant leaving Charming, they would leave Charming and find another place to make their lives.

The worst part was that she'd used Kyle Fucking Hobart as her example, he'd left the club and gotten out to have a new life. If Kyle could do it, why couldn't he?

Opie had wanted to rage at her that Kyle had gotten out of the club because he'd been a coward and the sole reason why he'd just spent five years of his life wasting away in a cell but he didn't. He couldn't. It was club business and he'd made the decision to keep Donna and club business as separate as possible because he knew that she would never be able to handle it.

He sighed, shifted to try and get more comfortable. Sarah had been at the back of his mind since he'd seen Kozik and now he let her move to the front. He could picture her face, smell her hair and those were the images in his mind as he was finally able to fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from SOA. I just like playing with the hot bikers.

A/N: Big thanks to everyone as usual, you readers are the best.

CHAPTER SIX

"Babe, where's the playpen from Kenny and Ellie?" Opie questioned as he pawed through the fridge looking for something to eat. He'd just come off a twelve hour shift at the mill and all he could taste was saw dust, he needed something to get the taste out of his mouth.

"I think it's out back in the shed, why?" Donna leaned against the door frame. "Not the cold cuts, they're for the kids lunch for school. I think that there's some pasta left in that bowl."

Opie took out the bowl, there was pasta in it but it wasn't going to be enough to make up for the fact he hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning. "They're letting Abel home soon, Jax doesn't have one so I told him he could have ours if he wanted, not like we're using it."

"We could be," Donna told him with a small smile, "we always said that we wanted three and we're not getting younger."

Opie placed the bowl into the microwave. It was true, they had spoken about having another kid, it had even been mentioned when he was inside but with the state of things since he came home he'd all but forgotten about it with the current icy state of their relationship. "We're not," he agreed.

"Now that you've got a good job with benefits and steady hours I think it's something we could put some thought and practice into."

The microwave beeped and Opie ignored it completely. "The mill job isn't a good job Donna, it's a shit job and I'm making shit money," he sighed. The state of the fridge told the tale better than anything else could. "We're still drowning in bills and barely scraping by."

"It's an honest job. Honest money." Donna placed her hands on her hips and Opie knew that there was no way getting around the fight that was about to happen.

"We're barely feeding the kids Donna!" He shouted the words, motioned at the fridge. "I could be earning enough that we don't have to worry about if there's enough for all of us to eat dinner and still pay the god damn mortgage."

"Earning with the club?" She said the words with venom. "We've spoken about this Opie, that is not our life any more."

"You talked about it," Opie pointed out, "I told you, the club..."

"Screw the club! I need a husband and our kids need a father! I'd rather starve than have you earning from them."

"They're my family Donna," he kept his voice low with effort. The second the words left his mouth he knew that they were the wrong thing to say. Donna's eyes widen, anger flared in them and he knew there was no way out of this fight. It was the one that they'd been avoiding since the day he came home.

"I'm your family, the kids are you family." Donna screamed the words, her voice actually cracking from the volume. "They're the assholes that got you locked up which is why your kids don't even want to be around you."

"It was on ME," Opie roared. "I made the choice, I knew the risk. It was on me, not them. They had my back, that's the only reason I even made it home. They're my Brothers, my family."

"You can't have both Opie," Donna crossed her arms over her chest, "you're going to have to choose."

"Don't give me an ultimatum," Opie told her, "you knew the deal when we got married. I'm just trying to take care of us Donna, I just want to give you and the kids the life you deserve."

"I don't want anything from them, anything! You want to take care of us than be here, stay alive! Don't throw the second chance you've got away Opie. I'm serious, you need to choose or I'm taking the kids and I'm leaving. We'll go to my parents, they'll help me."

Rage unlike anything he'd ever experienced before rolled through him. "Don't threaten me with that Donna."

"It's not a threat," she replied.

There was no telling where the argument would had gone if Ellie hadn't walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. "Mom?" Her voice shook, she looked at her father with an expression of distrust. He stepped forward and she all but threw herself into Donna's arms.

Opie wanted to stay and comfort her but knew that his presence would only make her more upset. The realization of it was like a sharp kick to the stomach. What the fuck had become of his life when his own daughter didn't come to him for comfort?

Without another word he left the house, got on his bike and began to ride.

3

There was a copy of a bridal magazine waiting for her when she got into Jeremy's car. Sarah looked down at the glossy pages, somehow managing not to let out a sigh. He'd promised not to push her on the wedding issue and he'd started to break that promise two days later.

He'd called her his fiance several times since, twice in front of people that he knew well so the basic assumption of his circle of friends was that they were already engaged. She'd gone so far as to hang the engagement ring on a chain around her neck but still he didn't let up. "Some light reading?" Sarah questioned as she stuck the magazine deep in her purse.

"The newest dresses are in there. My sister said that you needed to have it."

"Jeremy, I thought that you were going to give me time to think about it," she kept her voice kind with effort. Part of her wanted to reach out and simply shake him but she didn't. Instead she folded her hands on her lap and waited for his answer.

"I can't help myself Sarah, I'm so excited. Besides, I've got a good feeling about you saying yes. I love you and you love me."

"I do love you Jeremy," and it was the truth. She did love him but knew that his feelings were stronger than hers. It was something that she'd thought long and hard about because she had no doubt that he'd be good to her if she said yes, perhaps in time her love would grow stronger after all she wasn't getting any younger. "I just need more time."

"How much more time Sarah? I mean, why don't you know the way that I do?"

"It's a big decision," she replied.

"I think that we should move in together," Jeremy dropped the bomb as he pulled away from the curb. "I mean, that's a good step for us. I get that you'd worry about it being we only spend the night with each other. We should be under the same roof."

"You want to move into my place?"

"Of course now, your place is too small. I figured you can move into the townhouse. We can redecorate however you want," he was smiling widely. "My place is closer to your job anyway and the complex has the pool and tennis court. Hey, maybe we can pick up a raquet today. Have you ever played?"

"Back in high school," she admitted. "You're putting a lot of pressure on me right now Jeremy."

"I don't mean to put pressure on you, like I said I'm just excited." He reached over and turned the radio on. "I won't say anything else, I promise. I think my sister might have told my parents though."

Of course she had, Sarah didn't bother to hold back her sigh this time. "I'm not in the mood for the movies tonight Jer, I need a rain check."

"Do you want to rent something instead?" He suggested, concern on his face.

"No, I'm just really tired all of a sudden. I had a long work day today."

"You should find a new job, something with better hours."

"I like my job," the hours at the consignment shop might have been long but managing it was the best job she'd ever had. She'd had it since that bitch Natalie had gotten her position at the auto parts store down sized and she hadn't missed it at all.

"No need to get testy," he smiled over at her. "Should I stop so you can grab something for dinner?"

"I'll have one of my frozen ones," she replied.

"Those aren't food. Why don't I just cook you something while you relax on the couch. We can watch a movie."

"Kill Bill?"

"I hate that movie, too violent and gory for me."

"What were you thinking?"

"What about Speed?"

Sarah wasn't surprised by his choice, Speed was a good movie but they'd watched it just the week before. "Sure," she'd intended on going home alone but he hadn't picked up on that. He didn't pick up on a lot of things.

3

Opie could still taste the fucking sawdust from the mill, two hours on the road hadn't driven the taste away and neither had the three beers he'd downed since sitting down at the bar at the clubhouse. He must have had a look on his face that said stay away because only the bravest crow eaters had come close to him, he'd grunted in response to their questions and they'd backed the fuck off.

He had no such luck with Jax, his best friend knew his moods well enough to know that he was in a bad one but sat down anyway. He placed a bottle of Jack Daniels on the table between them.

For a while they simply sat in silence, drinking glass after glass until the bottle was almost half gone. "Saw Tara again today," Jax broke the silence and lit a cigarette.

"Wendy still in rehab?"

"Yeah," Jax blew out a stream of smoke, "swears that this time it's going to stick but I've heard that shit before."

"You talk to Tara about shit?"

"What is there to say? She took off, she made her choice." Jax didn't look pleased at the memory and poured himself another glass of Jack. "If she'd just stayed.."

If she'd stayed she wouldn't be a doctor, Opie was sure of that. She'd have given up everything and being with Jax would have been enough for a while but time would pass and she'd grow resentful just like Donna had. "She's back now."

"Yeah. Sometimes I see her and it's like no time has passed at all, it's like..."

"Like you still love her," Opie knew the feeling all too well. "That shit doesn't just die."

"No, it doesn't." Jax agreed, his expression turned serious. "You want to know something Op?"

"What?"

"I saw Sarah when I was in Tacoma a few years ago, gave her shit about writing you and I was wrong." It was a rare moment when Jax Teller admitted his faults so Opie said nothing and let him continue. "I guess I get it now, time passes but some shit doesn't change."

"It's different with you and Tara," Opie replied, "you can still do something about it. I can't do shit."

"Do you want to?" Jax stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray and lit another.

"Doesn't matter what I want. I've got a wife and kids to think of." Even if she was a wife who seemed to hate who he was at the core, she was still his and he loved her. "Donna's not too thrilled with me right now."

"About club shit? Can't say I didn't see that coming Op. She's never gotten what the club means to you. I'm not sure she ever will."

"Yeah," Opie agreed, "me neither."

3

Kozik ran his hands over Sarah's legs as they watched Kill Bill, it was the first time that they'd hung out alone in a while and he knew that there was something on her mind. "So, gonna tell me what's going on?"

"The Bride is trying to avenge the deaths of her wedding party and unborn child," she replied in a deliberate attempt to avoid the question. Sarah knew that Kozik would pick up on it,he always did. "It's nothing," she sighed, "it's Jeremy."

"You were right the first time, it's nothing if it's about pretty boy." He didn't like the man, especially didn't like the little things he was noticing in him. "It about the ring?"

"Yeah," Sarah looked down at the stone glistening on her finger. Truth be told, she hated it. It was too gaudy even on her right hand so she didn't have to answer a million questions about her engagement. "We talked again last week. I told him that I... I'm still not sure. He said take all the time I want to decide."

"You need to man up," Kozik replied after a moment of thought, "you know what I mean. It's time you decide what you want and go for it Sarah."

She laughed, reached for the joint on the coffee table and lit it up. Sarah exhaled a long stream of smoke. What she wanted? Well she couldn't have what she wanted, who she wanted. The time that had passed since she cut ties with Opie didn't matter anymore than the number of years she'd been gone from Charming.

Sarah was well aware that it wasn't a sign of good mental health to still be hung up on someone that she'd never had but that didn't change the facts. It was insane, pathetic and something she kept hidden deep down inside. Even Kozik who knew everything about her because he was the best friend she had didn't know the way she felt. Now didn't seem like the time to tell him. Never sounded like the best time.

Kozik shook his head when she went to pass him the joint. "Nah, go ahead."

"Suit yourself," Sarah took another pull, "I love Jeremy, I do but I'm pretty sure that love isn't enough for us. At least the way I feel for him isn't enough, I'm pretty sure he loves me enough for it to be enough."

"You can't put it off Sarah, you've got to make a decision even if you don't want to hurt him," Kozik watched her closely. "You don't love him," he debated what he was about to say and then decided to not mince words, "you're still in love with Opie."

"I never said that!" She flew into a sitting position as if someone had lit a fire under her ass, nervously she took several deep hits off of the joint. "I am..." she sighed, dropped the joint into the ashtray. "I am not."

"If you say so," Kozik smiled at her.

"I do say so," Sarah glared at him, "if you're going to call me a liar you can go."

"Nah, I'm comfortable and The Bride is pretty hot."

"I'd be insane to be in love with him, he's married and happy at home with his wife."

"Not so happy," Kozik corrected as he recalled the scene when he'd gone to Charming. "I'd say that there's serious trouble in paradise there." He'd also say that Opie wasn't any more over Sarah than she was him but he'd only say that to himself.

Sarah wanted to ask what he meant but she didn't. It wasn't her business even if it made her sad that there were problems. The idea that she could be responsible for some of the problems by writing Opie occurred to her and that was something that she couldn't deal with.

Kozik noticed her silence, stroked her legs when she settled back down. "You're right about Jeremy, I've got to end it."

"Good girl, he's a bitch anyway. I really can't stand him but you already knew that."

"Yeah," Sarah admitted, Kozik had never really hid his feelings from her on the matter. "I probably should call him now but I..."

"Hey, tonight is us." Kozik squeezed her ankle. "Let's order Chinese and you can get shit faced."

"That might just be the best idea that you've ever had," Sarah smiled at him, glad that she had him in her life because she truly couldn't imagine it any other way. "You know I love you right?"

"Of course you do, have you seen me?"

"Douche," she told him, she should have known better than to try to be serious with him. Kozik liked to turn things into a joke, maybe that was one of the reasons he'd never settled down with anyone.

"You know I love you too. I just want you to be happy Sarah."

3

Opie forked up another bite of meat loaf and looked around the table. When he'd come home half an hour before exhausted and covered in saw dust Donna and the kids had been in the living room laughing and playing the Wii system that he'd brought from Juice as a surprise for them. Juice had been tired of it but the kids couldn't get enough.

It had been nice to watch his wife and kids smile, laugh and have a good time. It had been heart breaking for that to stop once they realized he was in the doorway. Donna announced she needed to get dinner out of the oven and the kids found something to do in their rooms.

He'd headed for the shower, stayed there even after he was clean and realized that he didn't want to face them. In all the day dreams he'd have of what life would be like when he came home, none of them had been this. In his thoughts he'd come home to find a loving family, not kids who didn't want to know him and a wife who wanted to change him.

Opie couldn't even blame them. He'd said it to Donna during one of their fights, he'd made the choices that landed him in jail. Sure, he'd thought that they were the right choices but now he realized right or wrong didn't matter. The choice couldn't be undone and he'd lost more than five years of freedom. He'd lost his family and as far as he could tell there was no chance of him getting them back.

Now sitting at the table he wondered if he should just throw in the towel and leave. He looked to Donna and desperately wanted to see something in her eyes. Something that told him the woman who'd fallen head over heels in love with him was still there.

Instead he just saw a tired woman, one putting a false smile on her face when looking at him but at least the smile was real when she looked at the kids. Somehow he made it through the meal, offered to wash the dishes when it was over.

Donna looked surprised but thanked him and when he went into the living room after to find her and the kids sitting on the couch watching a movie she moved over so he could sit next to her. He didn't imagine the way that she stiffened when he touched her.

Opie bit back a sigh. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I love you Babe."

"Love you too," she replied but her eyes never left the screen.

The animated film seemed to go on forever. Opie had no clue what the plot was if there was even any plot. About half an hour after he'd sat down Donna got up to use the bathroom. When she came back she sat on the other side of the couch. Once the movie was gone and the kids were tucked into bed she turned to him.

"We need to talk." Her face held no real expression but they were the four words that no man really wanted to hear especially when things were as cold as they'd been.

"Alright Babe, talk." Opie sat down on the couch and held his hand out to her but she didn't take it. Donna reached into her back pocket, pulled out an envelope and held it out to him. "What the hell is this?"

"Open it," she cleared her throat and he realized that she was nervous.

Opie opened the envelope and unfolded the papers inside. They were divorce papers. "What the fuck is this?"

"You can see what they are Opie. You can't be surprised, not with the way things have been."

The thing was, he was surprised. "Jesus Christ Donna, this is what you want? How long have you been planning this?"

"This was never my plan," she told him, "but it's the only way I can go if you're not willing to make the changes we need to make this marriage work. I told you, I can take the kids and go to my parents."

"If that's what you want, there's nothing I can say to stop you." Opie folded the papers, shoved them back in the envelope but really he wanted to tear them into tiny pieces and throw them around the room. He wanted to grab her and shake her. He'd never felt the slightest hint of violence towards a woman before but right now he had to breathe deep. "You knew who I was when we got together. You knew what the club meant to me. If you weren't up for it, you should have never said yes."

"I was pregnant Opie, nineteen and pregnant. I thought that you'd grow up once we had a family."

"No, you thought that I'd change. You knew who I was Donna. You can't deal with that then file the papers." Opie rose to his feet, he didn't trust himself to stay there any longer.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from SOA.

A/N: First of all, thank you for all the reads, reviews, follows, favorites and for just being awesome and taking this trip between Tacoma and Charming with me. This chapter is a little shorter than the normal length but some important stuff happens. So enough of me, on to the entertainment.

Chapter Seven

Sarah opened the door for Jeremy with determination. For the past few days he'd been the one avoiding her. She had the feeling that he sensed what was coming. The ring that he'd given her was back in a box, she had the key to his place off of her key chain and she'd changed her alarm code. She didn't need her key back, she'd be more comfortable with changing the locks entirely.

"Hey," he stepped inside.

"Hey," she replied as she shut the door. "Jeremy, we need to talk."

"I got a promotion at work, offered a new position in Los Angeles. The beaches, the sun. You're going to love it."

"That's great for you, really great." Sarah took a deep breath. It was time to say what she needed to say before he said anything else. "But it doesn't matter what I think of LA, because we need to talk."

"Don't say it Sarah. You don't mean it. You're scared Baby, I get that."

"Don't call me Baby," he knew that she didn't like to be called that. He just didn't care. He liked to say it. She cringed to hear it, the word reminded her of Opie and she'd loved it when he said it.

She could still hear his voice especially late at night when she was alone or even when she was next to Jeremy, she heard him and it made her a way that she had no right to. Some nights she missed him enough that she couldn't sleep and some days she missed him enough that she made it a point to go to the clubhouse so she could see the picture of him.

"Sarah, please Sarah. Just..."

"No," she shook her head. "I thought about it just like you asked. I care about you Jeremy but I don't love you. I don't love you the way that I should. I'm sorry, but I need to give you this back." Sarah reached for the ring box and handed it to him.

"I won't take it." Jeremy shook his head. "You just need more time."

"No," she had been afraid of this. "I don't need any more time Jeremy. It's not fair to either of us to keep this up. Please, take the box and then I'd like you to go. There's really nothing more to say."

"How long have you been fucking him?"

"Fucking who?" Sarah replied. "The only person that I've been with since we met is you."

"What about your precious Kozik?" Jeremy spoke with a venom that surprised Sarah. He was normally much more laid back even if he could get worked up over Kozik or the Sons. He hated the Sons with every fiber of his being.

"I am not fucking Kozik! Take the box and get out." For the first time she realized that maybe she should have told Jeremy in a public place. A very public place. His facial expression and body language reminded her of Mark. She couldn't go through that again. She wouldn't as long as there was breath in her body. "Out!"

"I'm not going anywhere," he took a step forward.

"I'll call the club, I'll call them right now." Sarah threatened because she knew that he had a fear of them. It was a last ditch effort. Her greatest fear was that he wouldn't back down but then he did.

Jeremy snatched the ring box from her hand, stalked out the door and slammed it behind him. Seconds later his car started and roared away from the curb. Sarah walked over and dead bolted the door. She slid the chain on and shut the blinds in case he came back.

3 3 3

Opie finished his coffee and picked up the last piece of toast. His stomach would be growling by ten am after the meager meal but he was used to that. It was time to talk to Jax and Clay, he was ready to earn again.

"We'll leave tonight," Donna said from near the counter where she was boxing up what she didn't want to leave behind in the kitchen, "after Abel's party."

Opie nodded his head. "It's your choice Donna."

"It's the only choice I have Opie, it doesn't make me happy but it's what's right for me and the kids," she closed the top of the box. "It's not like I won't let you see the kids. We'll work out a schedule once I'm settled."

"Alright," he stared down at his coffee as his wife left the kitchen. Except she wasn't really his wife any more. He'd signed the papers the night before when he'd come back from a long ride. He'd give her what she wanted being he apparently hadn't done so in a long time. There was a strange sense of peace about it.

On some level he'd know that it was coming even when he'd still been locked up. The signs were all there, glaring neon and impossible to miss but he'd done just that. He'd let himself believe that they could make things work even while he was sleeping on the couch.

The sound of the front door shutting behind Donna broke him out of his thoughts. Fuck it, he decided that he wasn't going to work at the fucking mill. Instead he headed to Teller-Morrow without a second thought.

3

Kozik used his key to walk into Sarah's house. "I've got Chinese," he called out. "Sarah, you forget to charge your phone again?"

"No, I just didn't answer." Her voice carried from the living room. "Sorry, just needed some quiet time."

He walked in the living room and found her sitting on the couch. There was a bottle open in front of her, tequila which wasn't a good sign. She never drank tequila. "What's up?"

"Ended it with Jeremy today, saying that he wasn't impressed is pretty much an understatement," she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a sip. "I know it was the right thing to do. I didn't love him the way that he loved me. I couldn't."

"So, what's the problem?" Kozik sat down, began to unpack the bag of food.

"It just got me thinking."

"Thinking about?" Kozik asked even though it was clear that Sarah would prefer if he just stopped talking. "Come on Sar, you know that you can talk to me."

"I started thinking about my future Kozik, about what I'm going to do. I'm not getting any younger."

"No shit, none of us are getting any younger. Cut the bullshit and just say what's on your mind."

"I don't think that I could love Jeremy the way that he wanted because I... because I'm still in love with Opie and that's ridiculous. Completely and totally ridiculous because we haven't been together in years. He's married with kids and nothing will ever change that. I'm going to end up old and alone because I can't let go of the past."

"There's nothing wrong with you Sarah," Kozik sat down next to her, "come here."

She moved willingly into his arms, laid her head against his chest. "What you and Opie had was special, really special if it's stayed alive for so long when you're not together. You're right, he's got a wife and kids and nothing will change that."

"How do I move on?"

"I don't know Sar, I've never felt anything like you feel for Opie. Fuck, I wish that I had." He stroked a hand over her hair. "I think that you should tell him how you feel Sarah, he deserves to know. Give him the chance to make a decision."

"I can't do that," she said with a sigh. "I can't be the one who breaks up his family. I won't be. Can we just not talk about this any more?"

"Of course," Kozik planted a kiss on the top of her head, "hey, how about this? If you don't get over Opie and move on and we're both single by the time you're thirty five we'll just suck it up and marry each other?"

Sarah managed a laugh. "That sounds just about perfect."

3 3

Another day and another set of hang up calls for a private number, in other words another set of calls from Jeremy. Sarah knew that it was him. He knew that she knew it was him but still he didn't stop. There was only one reason she didn't change her number as much as it shamed her to admit it. The house phone number was the one that Opie had. If he ever decided to call her, she wanted the call to be able to go through so she'd suck it up and deal with the calls.

She tossed a frozen pizza in the oven, pulled her hair back into a bun and turned the music up loud to motivate her as she tackled running the vaccum and the rug shampooer in the living room. It was her own fault she needed to shampoo the rug, she'd been careless with her wine glass the other night and dumped it all over the beige carpet. Who in their right mind used beige carpet? She could only guess it had been on sale when her landlord needed to redo the house.

The music was so loud that she didn't hear the timer for the pizza, only realized that it was time to take it out when the smell of burning dough filled the air. Sarah yanked it out of the oven, burned her hand and was sulking when she heard the front door open and close.

"Kozik?" Fear spiked inside of her, after all he was the only one with a key or should she say the only one who she knew had a key, lately she'd felt like someone had been in the house when she wasn't. The only possible suspect was Jeremy and she really hoped he hadn't had a spare key lying around. "Koz?"

He appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, spiky blonde hair standing up in a million different directions. "Sarah."

"What happened?" She leaned back against the counter to brace herself.

"Just got a call from Charming, there was a shooting."

"Oh God," Sarah lost control of her legs. She went down on the floor hard and Kozik was there in a second to help her up. "How bad?"

"It was Donna Sarah, she's gone."

"Oh my God." Her stomach churned and revolted. Certainly she had no love lost for the woman, hadn't even really liked her but that wasn't the point. The point was that Opie loved her. She made it to the trash can and heaved up the contents of her stomach.

"Easy," Kozik moved over to the sink and wet a paper towel. He placed it on the back of her neck. "Not to sure on what went down but it looks like a random drive by. She was leaving Abel's party to get dish soap."

Sarah sat back down on the floor, her head in her hands. Gunned down on the supposedly safe streets of Charming while on a mundane errand, Donna had deserved better than that. Certainly Opie and their kids deserved better. "Jesus Christ. Do you really think it was random?"

Kozik considered that for a moment. The truth was he didn't think it was random and was sure that no one else believed that either. Sarah wasn't stupid. She knew how things worked. "Club business," he said finally because nothing short of that would stop her.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Do not own any teeny tiny part of SOA.

A/N: Thanks everyone for reading. So glad that you're enjoying these two as much as I am.

This chapter contains adult content and adult situations, therefore if you are NOT an adult or have no desire to read such things it's best that you do not read ahead.

Chapter Eight

The neon numbers of the clock blinked that it was quarter to five in the morning, Sarah groaned as she tossed back the covers and slipped out of bed at the sound of the motorcycle in her driveway. She was going to put her slipper clad foot straight up Kozik's drunk ass, if he was sober he'd know to have slowed down to a near stop instead of riding up fast.

Sarah turned off the alarm, undid the locks and flung the door open. She stepped out on the porch in only a faded pair of shorts and tee shirt. It had gotten cold, colder than she realized. "Jesus Christ Ko..." the words died in her throat because she wasn't looking at Kozik.

"Hey," Opie was off of his bike, he had his helmet in his hand.

It had been six weeks since he'd left Charming after Donna's funeral. She'd been gunned down on the way to pick up the kids one night in a display of violence that the town hadn't seen in a long time. Immediately it was assumed that the drive by couldn't have been random because she was married to a Son. Sarah wasn't sure if there had been retaliation, Kozik wasn't that forthcoming. He just told her that Opie was fine and she shouldn't worry. After his loss he deserved time to grieve, to come to terms with the fact that everything had changed and the best thing she could do for him was let him do that.

"You gonna say anything?" He questioned after the silence stretched uncomfortably.

She'd been trying to speak since he'd said hey but the words were stuck in her throat. Without realizing it she stepped forward, crossed the porch and moved down the steps, she didn't allow herself to think as she walked over to him. "I'm so sorry."

"I know," Opie reached out and pushed her hair back, Sarah trembled as his fingers brushed against her face ever so lightly. His hands could be so gentle despite their large size. Unsure of what to say she simply closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him as best she could. After all he was massive, bigger than she remembered.

Opie's arms engulfed her, he rested his head against hers. For the first time since Donna's death he felt something that wasn't anger or guilt. "It's really good to see you Sarah, really good."

Sarah wanted to cry. She wanted to weep for him and his loss, for herself and for the release of so much tension as his arms wrapped around her. In his arms she felt safe. "It's good to see you too." To keep from pressing her body against his tighter than it already was she brought a hand up to his chest. "Come on inside, it's cold out here."

"You must be freezing," he looked down at her shorts and tee shirt and realized he'd woken her. He hadn't even thought of the time.

"A little," she eased away from him as his grip relaxed around her. Truthfully she didn't even notice the cold. She couldn't notice anything but him so she hurried into the house and hoped her head would clear even though she knew that it wouldn't.

"Sorry I woke you up," Opie followed her inside and shut the door behind them. "Nice place."

"Thanks," Sarah replied. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"I could use a shower," he admitted.

"I'll show you where the bathroom is," nervously Sarah gripped her hands together, "I really hope that you have something to change into because nothing I have here is going to fit you."

"I've got stuff out in my saddlebags," he told her. "You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't, the bathroom is down the hall to the right. Go on and I'll grab the stuff off of your bike for you." It would give them both a few minutes to breathe, Sarah figured that was a good thing because right now her mind was filled with very unpure thoughts about the widower standing before her. Perhaps she was the one who needed a shower, a seriously cold shower.

"Thanks." Opie reached out as she went to walk past him. "Sarah." His fingers curled around her upper arm, brought her closer to him. "If you want me to go, I will. I'd appreciate it if I could shower first though."

"You don't have to go," she met his eyes. "I'll make you something to eat, you look hungry and tired."

"I'm exhausted," he admitted, "been riding for days."

"Well, you'll sleep soon. First on and shower."

"Thank you," Opie couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch the side of her face. Her skin was as soft as he remembered and she still smelled the same. Sarah moved into the touch. "I'm glad I came here."

"I am too," she admitted, probably too glad. Never in a million years had she expected to find him outside. She'd really never thought that she'd see him again except maybe in pictures. "I'll go and get your stuff."

"Sarah," he cleared his throat, not really sure what to say. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to lean down and kiss her but something held him back. It was presuming a lot to even come here, for all he knew she was just being kind to him. Sarah had always been a kind person. "Thank you."

"Don't, you don't have to thank me." Sarah pulled herself up onto her toes and brushed her lips against his cheek.

"Tell me to stop."

"What?" Sarah looked up at him with obvious confusion on her fact, the expression was replaced a split second later with understanding and lust. "Opie."

"Tell me to stop." He repeated, he needed to hear her say it. Needed her to reject him so he could swallow these ideas down and just go in the shower. His hand came up to cup her face and then her arms were around his neck.

"No," she said finally, "don't stop."

He covered her mouth with his, intent on keeping the kiss light. All he needed was a taste of her, just a little taste and then he'd be satisfied. It was Sarah who deepened the kiss, opened to him in a way he hadn't expected. Her tongue touched his, a growl rumbled out from deep in his chest.

"Don't stop," she whispered the words and tightened her hold around his neck tighter. "I'm not asking you to stop." Though she knew that she probably should have been. He couldn't have been thinking straight, he'd just lost his wife.

Opie's hands moved down her body, gripped her ass and he lifted her with ease. Another moan escaped his throat as she wrapped her legs around his waist. His cock strained against his jeans, painfully hard and desperately wanting out, wanting her.

When he'd left Charming he hadn't realized that this was his destination all along, it had taken many miles of road and countless hours of being alone to realize that he didn't want to be. More importantly, he didn't have to be. Sarah had offered him something he needed while he was locked up, she'd shown him that she still cared. Opie wasn't sure how it was possible after all these years but here they were wrapped around each other again.

"There's things I have to tell you, things you need to know." He spoke the words in a rush before he lost his nerve.

"I know," she met his eyes, "and we've got time for that." And for once it was true, they had time. They had all the time in the world. There was no guard rushing him off of the phone, her parents weren't breathing down her neck and there was no one for either of them to answer too. "Later," Sarah declared, "right now, you need a shower, food and rest." She ran her hands over his hair, freed it from the band he'd contained it with.

A thrill went through her at the sight. If this was wrong she had no earthly desire to be right, it was going to happen and when it was done she'd worry about it then. Sarah harbored no delusions that this was anything more than another way for Opie to work through his grief, as much as it might hurt when he left she wasn't about to turn down what was right here before her.

"Down the hall to the left?" Opie tightened his grip on her and began to walk. She held onto him, her face buried in his neck. He pushed open the bathroom door, steadied her with one hand while he flipped on the light.

The shower was huge and separate from the claw foot tub with the table next to it, an empty wine glass sat on the table and he could imagine Sarah stretched out in the tub, eyes shut and glass in hand. The mental image made him grow even harder, if he wasn't careful he'd end up coming in his pants.

Sarah stumbled a bit when he lowered her to her feet. "There's clean towels and fresh soap in the shower," she was babbling and she knew it but there was no containing the nervousness that had crept up from her toes and spread to every part of her. To keep herself busy she leaned in, turned on the water and set the shower flowing. "I'll bring your clothes in for you."

"Can you hang this up somewhere for me?" He took off his cut. Sarah nodded and took it from him gently, she handled the leather carefully and that struck him more than anything else. She knew what it meant, what it represented and the value that it held to him. Donna had never treated it with respect, in fact he was pretty sure she'd have burned it if she thought that she could get away with it.

Sarah left the bathroom as Opie began to undress, staying to see that would be just entirely too much temptation. She'd caught glimpses of ink, ink that he hadn't had the last time she'd seen him without clothes on. As she made her way to the front of the house and his bike she realized that her body had also changed since the last time they'd been naked together. While she'd label the changes to his body across the board improvements she couldn't really say the same about hers.

When she was a teenager her body had been really different, there was at least twenty or to be honest twenty five additional pounds on her. She had curves and rolls where there had only been smooth lines before, her breasts were still nice but certainly not as perky as they had been and her ass, well she didn't really want to think about her ass.

She retrieved his clothes and walked back to the bathroom, she knocked lightly. "Op, I'm just going to put your clothes in and then go start some food." He didn't respond so she waited a few more seconds and then pushed the door open. He was in the shower, his head down with the water pouring on him. "Op?"

"You can just leave 'em there," his voice was different, thicker and more full of emotion.

"Did you find everything that you need? The soap and..." Sarah set the clothes down on the sink and took several steps closer to the shower. She wasn't even sure what she was doing when she pulled the curtain back and pulled off her shirt.

Before she could do anything else she was inside the shower, under the spray and pressed against the wall by his body with her shorts still on. "Tell me to stop," he pressed his lips against her neck.

"I don't want you to stop," she let her eyes fall shut as his mouth trailed down her neck. Sensations exploded inside of her, emotions that she'd denied or held down for years swirled as her hands moved over his chest and around to his back. If she pressed close enough to him he wouldn't get a good look at her body and that suited her just fine as she hadn't known she should shave, her lady parts weren't landscaped and there was chipped polish on her toe nails.

Opie bit down on the curve of her neck, his hands finding her hips and holding on so that he could take things slow. He didn't want to go slow. He wanted to just lift her up and plunge inside of her, feel her body tight around him. Her reaction to his touch wasn't helping him go slow, he felt her hips shift against him and her nails were dug into his back.

Sarah let out a cry as Opie's hands moved lower. "Opie!"

"I'll stop. I'll stop." He went still against her.

"No," Sarah snapped her head back so fast that it actually smacked against the shower wall. The dull pain was nothing to compete with the feeling of need that filled her from head to toe. Without thinking about what she was doing she brought her hand around to his front, dropped it down and took him in her hand.

"Fuck," Opie snarled the word as she began to stroke him. He was ready to go off in her hand like he had back when they were just horny teenagers.

Sarah recognized the tone of his voice, a smile curved her lips and she leaned forward to press her lips to his chest. One kiss turned into another, she trailed her way down and felt the muscles beneath his skin jump at the contact. When her knees hit the shower floor and he realized what her intention was she felt his hands move to her hair.

Going down on him had always been a challenge, he was very well proportioned to his general size but Sarah couldn't ever forget just how much he'd enjoyed it. Or how much she'd enjoyed it for that matter.

Opie buried his hands in her hair as she took him in his mouth, shallow at first and then deeper until she heard him let out a strangled moan. The sound only encouraged her and she set a pace that had his hips thrusting against her. She knew he was close when his grip tightened in her hair but she kept going and when he came she took what he had to offer.

He was breathing hard when she finally got to her feet, she couldn't keep herself from smiling and she didn't want to. "Jesus Sarah," he pulled her close and kissed her deep.

"I can go and make you something to eat if you want to finish up in here."

"I'm not done in here and you're not going anywhere," his hands moved down to cup her ass and squeeze. Sarah felt her body tremble as his hand moved down lower to lift one of her legs to allow himself better access to her. She was open to him, exposed and felt just a little embarrassed by the fact though he seemed to like everything that he was seeing.

"You don't have to," she whispered.

Opie didn't respond, he lowered himself to his knees and let his actions speak for him. The minute that his lips touched the sensitive nub of flesh between her legs she went crazy just like he remembered. He teased her with teeth and tongue just for a moment and then he began to feast.

The sounds that were coming out of her mouth were as intoxicating as the taste of her arousal on his tongue. He used one large hand to hold her in place even when she started to try to pull away which he knew meant that she was close. It was something she'd always done, as if she were scared of her own orgasm.

"Opie!" Her scream was more of a sob and when release finally washed over her it was strong enough to make her legs go weak.

Opie kept her on her feet, rose to his own and lifted her from the ground. The taste that he'd gotten wasn't enough. Despite the fact that he'd just come he was rock hard again and there was no way that he was going to waste any more time.

Sarah wrapped her legs around him, held tight as he stepped out of the shower. "You left the water running!" She pointed out as he stepped into the hall. They were both dripping all over the floor but she couldn't care less about that.

He returned to the bathroom to turn the water off. "Happy now?"

"Yes," Sarah's expression softened. She was happy and not because he'd turned off the water. She was happy because he was there, she was in his arms and despite everything that pointed to otherwise all was right with the world.

"Give me your mouth." He growled the words and tried several doors before he finally got to her bedroom. At least he assumed it was her bedroom because there was a bed and that was all that they needed.

Sarah stayed wrapped around him as he laid her gently on the bed. His body covered hers and she released her legs to spread them wide. "I'm on the pill, you don't need anything."

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes," she replied without hesitation.

And then he was inside of her and Sarah knew what it felt like to be complete again. She arched her back to give him better access and gritted her teeth against the shark spike of pain as he filled her. Her body adjusted quickly and they began to move together in a slow rhythm that just seemed to heighten every thing that she was feeling.

Lost deep in the throes of passion Sarah let go of everything holding her back, she was completely open to him both physically and mentally when he pushed her legs up against her chest. The changed angle sent him even deeper inside of her, touching something that she didn't know was there.

The dam inside of her broke, her orgasm flowed over her and she saw her toes curl against his shoulder. "I love you." She cried the words without thinking and once she heard them her whole body went rigid. "Fuck, I'm sorry Op. I..."

"I love you too Baby, don't apologize." He mumbled the words against her lips. His eyes were locked on her face. "Say it again Sarah, say it again."

"I love you."

3 3

Kozik slammed the front door shut behind him on purpose. He didn't recognize the bike in the driveway but knew from the paint job that it belonged to a Son, there was only one Son besides him he could imagine Sarah opening the door for.

"Sarah, I got breakfast." He called out as he stomped through the house as loudly as he could. "Sar?" Kozik deposited the bag of donuts on the kitchen table and started down the hallway.

The first thing that he saw was Opie's cut hung neatly on the back of a closet door. It was confirmation of what he expected. "Jesus Christ," he nearly turned back around and left because he didn't want to open the bedroom door and be scarred for life.

The bedroom door opened and Opie stepped out, obviously he'd heard Kozik come in. "Hey." He looked surprised to see him.

"Hey, Sarah still sleeping?"

"Yeah, she forget to lock the door last night?"

"Nah, I've got a key." Kozik admitted. "Didn't know that you were here Brother, I brought her over breakfast."

"You do that a lot?"

"Now and then," Kozik crossed his arms over his chest, "that a problem for you?"

"Why do you have a key?" Opie dodged the question. He wasn't sure if it was a problem or not. The memory of how jealous he'd gotten over Kozik and Sarah when he was still locked up was fresh in his mind, he'd been there when Opie couldn't be.

"Seriously?" Kozik let out a laugh. "She's my best friend and I'm hers which is why I have a key."

"You fucking her?"

"No," Kozik replied without hesitation. "It's not like that with us."

"You want it to be?" Opie questioned.

"Fuck you," Kozik replied.

The bedroom door opened again and Sarah stepped out. The tee shirt that she wore obviously wasn't hers because it was nearly down to her knees and entirely too large. "What's going on?" She looked between the two men, an expression of worry obvious on her face.

"Nothing," Opie replied.

"Sure as shit seems like something," she replied as she ran her hand over her hair.

"It's nothing Sar, just catching up." Kozik told her.

"For big bad outlaws, the two of you are shitty liars." There was no trace of amusement in her voice. "Just to clear the air, Kozik and I aren't currently or have we ever fucked. We have slept together but his penis has never been in my vagina."

"Sarah..."

"No," she cut Opie off and then glared at Kozik when he smirked, "the two of you have been friends a long time and you're not going to fall out because of me. Fuck that. Now, if the two of you can't play nice you can both leave because I'm not choosing between you, ever. Got it?"

"We're not falling out," Kozik told her. "Everything is cool Sar."

She didn't look like she believed him but she nodded. "Alright then, why don't I go and make some breakfast?"

"I grabbed doughnuts on the way over." Kozik told her. "I'm just going to take off though, you two probably have a ton to catch up on."

"Koz, come on..."

"It's alright Sar, I'll talk to you later. And Op, it's good to have you here because we've got a situation you might be able to help us out with if you're going to be around a few days."

"I'll be around," Opie took a step closer to Sarah, draped his arm around her shoulder. "You know where you can find me."

"Yeah, I do." Without another word Kozik left the room, moments later the sound of his bike filled the air. He rode away quickly, Sarah had no doubt in her mind that he was pissed. Truth was, she was slightly pissed herself about the way Opie and Kozik had just acted.

"I'm going to make coffee," she shrugged Opie's arm off of her shoulders. "You want to tell me what the hell that was with Kozik?"

Opie grabbed her from behind, pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "What?"

"You asked him if he wanted to fuck me, Opie."

"It's a valid question," he told her, "especially after he came over bright and early to bring you breakfast, let himself in with his own key and everything. I got a right to know if there's something going on."

"Nothing is going on. I'm not going to say it again. Kozik is my best friend, the best friend I've ever had. He's more than a friend to you, he's your brother. I don't want the two of you to have hard feelings because of me."

"No one has hard feelings Sarah, I promise." Opie pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. "What do you say we take those donuts to bed and eat them there?"

"The sheets will be full of crumbs," she pointed out.

"I'll figure out a way to take your mind off of the crumbs."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own SOA in any way shape or form.

A/N: Big thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or made this a favorite story. I can't say how much I appreciate it.

_**CHAPTER NINE**_

Sarah didn't make it to work that day or the next. On the third day when she called out her boss told her not to come back, ever. "Thanks Jill, I'll talk to you soon." With a smile she hung up the phone and glanced over at Opie. He was on his back, one arm flung over his head and the other out to the side.

Getting fired wasn't enough to take away the sheer bliss she felt at the moment. She'd find another job and she had some money saved to get by on. The job wasn't anything compared to whatever time she got to spend with Opie.

Sarah had no delusions that he was going to stay in Tacoma. He couldn't, his life was in Charming. It wasn't that she doubted he loved her, no she knew that he did and she loved him. She snuggled against him once she dropped the phone on the table next to the bed, pressed her face to his chest and shut her eyes. She really was still tired, the night before she'd been kept up by dreams that she didn't remember but she hadn't been able to settle back down after even with Opie holding her.

He'd told her about his kids the night before, mostly about his decision to let them go live with Donna's parents like they'd asked the morning they'd buried Donna. Even if some people thought he was a shitty father for doing so, it was the right thing to do. Kenny and Ellie didn't know him. More importantly they didn't want to know him and he was aware that they might never. It was a heavy discussion and after which Opie had fallen asleep with her held close against him. He'd slept soundly and eventually she'd scooted away from him so that she wouldn't wake him as she remained up, unable to stop thinking about all he'd gone through.

Sarah felt him stir and shut her eyes. The last thing she wanted after no sleep was more of a discussion, especially it it got as deep as the night before. Her heart was aching for him but she didn't know what to say to make it better. Was there even anything that could make it better?

Opie hand drifted down her leg, her body pressed against him in response. "You up Baby?"

"Mmm," she replied as she opened her eyes to meet his. "Morning."

"Want to make it a good morning?"

"That depends what you had in mind for a good morning," Sarah brought her hand up to trace along the ink on his collar bone. She contemplated using her tongue to trace the words but before she could Opie had moved her once again. He was strong enough to move her without effort.

"I'm sure that I can think of something," he assured her. "Who was that on the phone?"

"I was just calling out of work," Sarah replied. "You want me to go and make some coffee?"

"Think I'd rather you stay here in bed with me," he pulled her close. "I know that we talked a lot last night but there's something else that I have to tell you. It's something that I haven't told anyone else."

Sarah heard the change in his voice, he was serious and sad. "Okay, I'm listening."

"The night that Donna died, her plan was to take the kids and leave me. She wanted a divorce and I wasn't going to fight her. No one knew. We were at the party and things were almost normal, she wanted to help with the dishes and they were out of dish soap. I told her I'd take the kids to the house and she said... she said she'd be right there to get them. Next thing I knew I got the call. How was I supposed to tell anyone that there were bags packed in my hallway? That she was leaving me?"

"You wanted to protect her memory. She might have been leaving you Opie but that didn't mean you didn't still love her. I am sorry. I am so sorry that things got that bad between you."

"I was blindsided by it but I also felt relief," he sighed and pressed his face into her hair. "How fucked up is that?"

"It's not fucked up," Sarah assured him. "You had no way to know what was going to happen when she left to go to the store."

"Charming isn't known for drive by shootings Sarah," his voice hardened, "it was either about me or the club that someone would go gunning for her. She hated the Sons, hated me being one and ended up killed because of what she hated most. How is that not fucked up?"

"You didn't pull the trigger Opie, this is not on you." The tension in the room was rising. Sarah felt it and tried desperately to find a way to back track to them talking calmly. Opie had moved away from her, his expression one of sudden anger. "Her death is the fault of whoever pulled the trigger, not you."

Both of them jumped when the front door slammed. "Sarah!" Kozik's voice carried from the living room.

"Again? Jesus Christ, does he come over every morning?"

"So what if he does?" Sarah shot back.

"Does he?" Opie's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not having this conversation again. He's my best friend." Sarah got of the bed and picked up Opie's discarded shirt from the night before.

"You're not going to put on pants?"

"In two seconds, I'm going to take off this shirt and walk out there bare ass naked. Stop with the attitude about Kozik."

Opie pulled on his jeans from the day before and followed her out the door. He knew that he had no right to be pissed about Kozik coming and going as he please but he was. And it was going to stop. They'd have a man to man talk about it, Sarah would never have to know.

Kozik wore a serious expression when Opie stepped into the hall. "Hey Brother, sorry to interrupt but we could use your help with something."

"Of course," Opie replied, whatever he was feeling personally had nothing to do with the club and even if he was a little pissed, he still loved Kozik like a brother. "Give me a minute to change."

"Sure," Kozik watched him walk back into the bedroom, turned his attention to Sarah. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." She replied.

"Guess I should have knocked or used the bell," Kozik reached into his pocket and took out his keys.

"What are you doing?" Sarah demanded, voice nearly shrill as he began to remove her key from the ring. "No, I don't want it back."

"You sure? Op didn't look too thrilled that I just walked in."

"Well, that's just tough for him. I don't care. You're my best friend Kozik, I'm not going to let anything change that."

"Alright," he slid the keys back in his pocket, "we'll be gone a while, probably back tonight."

"I'll make dinner for all of us," Sarah replied, a plan starting to form in her mind. She could make dinner, both of their favorite things, and the three of them could talk and settle things. Kozik meant too much to her to lose though she wasn't exactly naïve, she knew that things would have to change and they'd figure that out together.

3

Opie ducked down behind the cover of a junk car, bullets tore through the rusted metal all around him. Knowing that the cover he'd chosen wouldn't last forever he made a move and began to return fire.

Kozik had said it was a simple shit kicking mission, both Lee and Lorca had called it the same but this wasn't simple shit kicking. This was a god damn ambush. They were out gunned, out numbered and in a really shitty spot for either.

They weren't all getting out of this and they knew it. Opie couldn't help but think that fate would have to have a fucked up sense of humor to send him here to his death, leaving his children orphans. Leaving Sarah when he'd just found her again.

He couldn't take the chance of either thing happening so he lunged for a different car, took down two of the other guys but caught sight of another he hadn't noticed. Fuck, that put the count at eight now, ten when they'd rolled up just the four of them.

"Even numbers now!" Kozik shouted out, he was happiest when they were in battles that weren't obvious he was going to get out of. He moved up to the car behind Opie. "We got to get behind them somehow. Lorca's hit. We need to end this and get him out of here."

"Let's do it," Opie agreed without hesitation.

They moved on the count of three. One of Opie's shots went wide but the other one went straight through the throat of the largest man they were up against. For the first time he relaxed enough to think that they were going to make it out whole.

The next second, all that changed. Kozik was slightly in front of him and to the right, directly in the line of sight of one of the shooters. "Kozik!" Opie tried to warn him but the shout was drowned out by the shots.

Kozik took the hit dead center to his chest. He hadn't been wearing a vest, none of them were expecting this. With a roar Opie moved to his fallen brother, one look was enough to know there was nothing to be done so he grabbed Kozik's gun and began to battle once more.

###

Sarah placed the chicken pot pie in the center of the oven and eyed the dial. She could not burn this damn thing. It was made from scratch, she didn't do made from scratch because short cuts were her best friend but this called for scratch. The macaroni and cheese was ready to go in and she'd made a really good Italian bread into garlic bread. There was salad because there needed to be some sort of vegetable.

She had a chocolate cake in the kitchen, there was no way she was subjecting them to her baking so she'd brought one and it looked good. The freezer was stocked to the brim with ice cream and the fridge was loaded with beer.

They were going to have a good dinner, a good talk and all would be right with her little corner of the world again.

It had to work out that way, it just had to because there was no way that she could ever live with herself if she had to choose between them in any way. Sarah loved Opie, being with him now was like living a dream but Kozik was her best friend, he'd been the only person to actually be there for her. So choosing wasn't an option. It couldn't be. It wouldn't be because they both loved her and each other.

The front door opened and she looked at the clock. "You two are early! Dinner's not even finished yet." Sarah turned away from the oven slowly, wiped her hands on a dishtowel and tossed it on the table. "I'll grab beers."

Sarah was reaching in the fridge when she heard footsteps behind her. "Sarah." Opie's voice sounded... off, really off. The moment she turned and saw that he was with Lee, not Kozik.

"No," she shook her head rapidly back and forth, "shut up!" She didn't realize that she was shouting. With the two of them standing there, grim looks firmly in place and no sign of Kozik it could only mean one thing. "No."

"I'm sorry Sarah," Lee was the one to step forward. "We lost him." He caught Sarah when she crumbled. "Easy Girl, just take a breath."

Sarah pushed away from him. "Don't. Don't tell me to fucking breathe! What happened? It was just supposed to be some ass kicking! And don't you dare give me that club business bullshit!"

"Sarah!" Opie said, shock obvious in his tone.

"It was an ambush," Lee spoke plainly, "we were pinned down, out manned and out gunned. Kozik lived for shit like that, took him back to his military days. If it wasn't for him, it's likely that none of us would have made it out."

"He was the hero." Sarah was half sobbing and half laughing. "He went down fighting."

"That's right," Lee smiled as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead. "He is a hero and he's gonna get the send off that he deserves. Gonna need your help with that, he'd have wanted it that way."

"I know what he wanted," Sarah inhaled deeply.

"This is for you," Lee reached into the inside pocket of his cut. "It's his letter."

Sarah took the envelope, she knew that most of the guys had just in case letters as well as she knew what it meant that Kozik had left his for her. "Thank you."

"Clara and Olivia will come by in the morning, help you get things sorted."

"Can I see him?"

"I'll make sure that you get to see him when he's cleaned up," Lee promised.

"No," Sarah shook her head. "I want to see him now."

"Sarah," Opie cleared his throat, "you see him like that and you're never going to see him any other way. It's going to be the picture that sticks with you, trust me."

"If someone told you that when Donna died, would you have listened?" Sarah demanded heatedly. "Would you have waited until she was cleaned up and laid out? Would that be a better fucking picture?" Her head turned to Lee. "I want to see him."

"And you will, might want to turn the oven off first though." Lee pointed out gently.

Sarah turned, saw the pot pies baking through the small glass window and the reality that Kozik wouldn't eat the food she'd made him or any food again. She was brought down to her knees.

3

She'd never seen Kozik so still before, he'd always been the antsy sort forever tapping his feet or moving his hands. Sarah stared down at him, wishing that he'd just open his eyes and tell her that it was all a joke but she knew that it wasn't. They'd removed his cut and she could see the blood sticky and dried on his tee shirt.

"This isn't right," she looked over to Lee and Opie who were standing at the door. Neither had said anything, they were just watching her and she knew that they were waiting for her to fall apart.

"What's not right Sweetheart?" Lee stepped forward.

"They can't take him like this," Sarah knew that once she was done saying her goodbye he'd be taken to the crematorium. "He wouldn't like it. I don't like it."

"What do you need Sarah?" Lee questioned.

"I want to get him cleaned up first," she looked between the two men, "please."

"Of course Sweetheart, we'll get you what you need."

"Thank you," it barely registered with Sarah as they left the room. She sat down on the rooms only chair and felt something crinkle in her pocket. It was Kozik's letter, the one that Lee had given to her.

Dear Sarah,

If you're reading this, well I'm gone and I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I know that you're hurting and I hate to see you hurt. I'd do anything to keep you from feeling like that. I don't know what happened but I'm pretty sure I didn't go warm in my bed. However you see me last, that's not how I need you to remember me.

I need you to remember the good shit Sarah, the times that we spent together because if there was any time for me to think of anything at the end that's what I'd have thought of. I'd think of you and nothing else would matter.

I love you Sarah, not in the way that you think. Not just as a friend. I can't say when I fell in love with you but I could never tell you. It wouldn't have been right because I know that you didn't feel the same towards me and it would make you feel bad. I never want you to feel bad.

Live your life Sarah, enjoy it and enjoy every moment of it. I'm always going to be with you Sweetheart, just know that. Know that you're never going to be alone.

Kozik.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any character or anything from SOA. I do this for fun.

A/N: Thanks once again to everyone who is reading and enjoying this.

CHAPTER TEN

Opie stood in the doorway of the bedroom, Sarah was on the bed with her back towards him despite the fact it was the middle of the day. It had been three days since Kozik had died and she'd spent most of them in bed.

He got it, he did. When Donna was gunned down he had wanted to crawl inside of himself and never come out but he didn't have that option. He'd had the kids to worry about, for them he'd kept moving even if he'd felt like a zombie.

"Sarah? Baby?" He toed off his boots and got on the bed with her. She didn't pull away from his touch as he wrapped an arm and leg over her. Opie shut his eyes when she wrapped her hands tightly around his arm.

"I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here," Sarah's voice was low, a little rough which he figured was from all of the tears that she'd shed. "I couldn't have done this without you Op, I mean that."

"I love you Sarah, it kills me to see you like this. You've got to tell me what I can do to make it better." He needed for her to say something, for her to give him something that he could do before he went insane.

He'd spent the past three days remembering how he and Lee had just stood there while she tended to Kozik's body. She'd cried the entire time, silent tears running down her face. Opie's heart tightened even now at just the memory of the way she'd kissed Kozik on the lips before walking behind him as he was wheeled to the crematorium.

"Make it better?" Sarah sighed. "It's not something you can make better Opie. You can't bring him back. No one can. I just... it just all feels like a bad dream."

"I know," Opie pressed his face against her hair, "but it's not. He might be gone but you're still alive. He wouldn't have wanted to see you like this." He frowned and held her tighter as she began to sob. Fuck! Everything he'd said had been intended to comfort her, apparently he was failing miserably.

"I'm sorry," she choked out the words. "I'm sorry you have to deal with me like this."

"Shhh," Opie pressed his lips to her hair. "I just want to take care of you Sarah. I love you."

"He loved me too."

"Of course he did," he assured her. "You meant a lot to him Sarah."

"No Opie, I mean he loved me. He told me, in his letter, he loved me and I didn't know. I never realized it. I should have realized it. He loved me and I..." She let out a sharp hiss of pain as his grip tightened around her. "Ouch, Opie."

He loosened his grip immediately, took his hands completely off of her and sat up. "Were you in love with him?"

"You know that I loved him, he was my best friend Opie. You know that."

"That is not what I'm fucking asking," he growled the words even though he knew this was the wrong road to go down. This was no a fight they needed to have but he couldn't stop himself.

"Fuck you Opie, fuck you." For the first time in days Sarah got out of bed without him prodding her. There was fire in her eyes and venom in her voice. "How dare you ask me that?"

"It's just a question Sarah and by the way you're acting, I have my answer." He rose to his feet. "If you were so much in love with him why did you even let me in your house?"

"Because I love you, asshole. That's why! I've always loved you. You want to ask questions? Fine, let me ask you something Opie. If Donna was still breathing, would you even be here?" Without giving him a chance to respond she continued to speak. "Oh wait, I know your answer by the way that you're acting! Don't even bother to act like this was more than a pit stop for you Opie, I knew it and I still let you in the fucking door."

The fight would have continued to go downhill from there but the sound of the doorbell echoed through the room. "We are not done with this, leave the fucking door."

"Fuck off," Sarah retorted as she stalked out of the room.

"I said leave the fucking door!" Opie bellowed as he followed her but she didn't listen. Instead she jerked the door open and they were both surprised to see Jax standing on the porch.

For a moment the three just stared at once another. Finally Jax cleared his throat. "Bad time?"

"What's going on Brother?" Opie questioned.

"We need to talk Op, in private."

"Knock yourselves out," Sarah shoved her feet into flip flops and grabbed her keys.

"We're not done here Sarah, go back to the room and I'll be there when I'm done." Opie told her as Jax stepped inside.

"That better have been a joke," Sarah shot him a glare.

"I really hate to break up whatever this is but I do need to talk to you Op, it's important. Club shit."

"And that would be my cue to leave my own fucking house. Just perfect," Sarah stalked out the door and let it slam behind her.

3

Sarah didn't know why she ended up at Kozik's apartment except that she didn't know where else to go and it needed to be cleaned out anyway. Much to her surprise he'd left a will, a will that left her everything.

The place was a dump, he'd hated staying there which was why he'd stayed the time that he did at her house. Seeing it without him there was a kick to the gut. Everything was a kick to the gut these days and after the screaming match she'd just had with Opie she was feeling especially tender.

Had she loved Kozik more than just a friend? It wasn't something that she'd ever let herself think about but now that she was thinking about it Sarah found the fact hard to deny. He'd been everything to her for a very long time. While they'd never crossed the line into sex there was a moment that stuck out in her mind though she'd tried her best to forget it.

It had been a Friday and he'd elected to not go to the party SAMTAC was throwing for the hell of it. Instead he'd shown up at her house with Chinese, a stack of movies, twelve pack of beer and bottle of Jack Daniels. They'd eaten, put on the movies but paid significantly more attention to the drinking. She'd had a shit day at work and he'd matched her drink for drink. After about an hour Sarah had been feeling no pain, stretched out on the couch with her feet on his lap bitching about the world.

And then somehow she'd been in his lap and her mouth had been on his. To this day she wasn't certain who had initiated the kiss but it was easy to recall the heat that had spread through her body.

It had been Kozik who stopped the kiss from going further, he'd cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Don't do something that you're going to regret."

And she would have regretted it, he'd known her well enough to know that. They'd never spoken of it again and it was only now she was able to realize exactly what that must have cost him. He'd loved her. He'd wanted her.

The tears came again and they weren't only for what she'd already lost, they were for what she realized that she might be losing. Sarah had never expected that Opie would remain in Tacoma, she'd just shouted that at him but now that she'd seen Jax she was sure that whatever time he had left here was going to be limited.

And there was a good chance that the last things that she got to say to him were going to be the angry words that they had. She knew Opie, knew the look on his face. When he was that mad he didn't always think straight. And neither did she, when things were good with them they'd been great but when they fought it got ugly, just like today.

As much as she wanted to just stay in this shitty apartment, surrounded by Kozik's things, she knew that she couldn't.

3

"Everything is going to shit Op, I need you back in Charming. Samcro needs you. I know that being here is important to you. I'm sorry about Kozik, sorry for you and sorry for Sarah." Jax took a sip of the coffee Opie had made. "But you need to come home and not just for the club, you need to come home for the kids."

"The Lerners' aren't exactly my biggest fans Jax, they were pretty clear about my lifestyle making me not fit to be a father."

"Whatever they think, those are your kids. Kenny cut school again the other day, spent the day at the garage with Piney and all he did was talk about you. You're all that they have left Op. It's time. Besides, after everything you just told me about Sarah and Kozik do you really want to stay here? Stay with her?"

"Don't start Jax."

"I'm not starting, just stating facts. Jesus Christ Op, I went to the clubhouse before I came here and they're not talking about her like she lost a friend. They're talking about her like she lost her Old Man, fuck there's a collection going on to make sure that she doesn't get evicted now that she's not working."

"She's what?"

"You didn't know?" Jax let out a sigh. "Look, this whole thing is fucked up and I'm sorry for that. I can give you another couple of days but I need you back at home."

"Don't need 'em," Opie spoke gruffly. He knew the type of collections that Jax was talking about, clubs from all over the country would contribute and they weren't for friends. They were for family, for Old Ladies left without any other options. The Sons took care of their own. For all these years he'd thought of Sarah as his but now the cold hard truth was starting to filter in.

Kozik had a key to her house, clothes in her closet and he'd watched with his own eyes as she'd bathed and dressed him with such care that Lee had gruffly coughed to hide the emotion he was experiencing.

"You sure?"

"Positive. Just let me grab my shit."

3

His bike was gone. Sarah parked in the empty spot with a sigh. More likely than not she'd find him at the SAMTAC club house with Jax, a visit from the Charming VP would mean a party. It was one of the better excuses that they would use.

One thing was for sure, she wasn't in any shape to walk into the club house but if that was where Opie was, it was where she needed to be but not in the pajamas that she'd had on for the past three days.

She decided to shower, change and head down. Honestly she probably needed a shower even if Opie had been too nice to point it out to her. The house was quiet which was no surprise but the letter that she found on the center of her bed made her heart skip a beat. It took only a glance around to see that everything Opie had taken out of his saddle bags was gone.

_Sarah,_

_They need me back in Charming, things are complicated there and I have to go. It's not just the club, it's my kids._

_Maybe coming here was a mistake for both of us. It seems like you had a good thing going with Kozik. The club is taking up a fund for you, you won't starve or get evicted even though you got fired. You didn't mention that._

_For what it's worth, I love you. I'll always love you. _

_Opie_

Sarah read the note three times, dropped the paper to the floor and crawled back into the bed. The pillow still carried Opie's scent as did the blankets and sheets. If she shut her eyes and tried really hard she could pretend that he was just down at the club house, pretend that she hadn't walked out on the man that she loved after an angry fight and pretend that the whole world just hadn't fallen to fucking pieces.

3

Someone was knocking on the door, someone determined enough that they were still knocking a full five minutes after Sarah began to ignore the sound. It had been over a week since Kozik died, four days since Opie left and she'd yet to leave the house. Hell, she'd barely left the bedroom.

It was full of dishes that needed to be washed, half empty glasses and a general feeling of despair which suited her just fine.

With a growl Sarah got out of the bed, stumbled through the house and yanked open the door. "What?" The word slipped out of her mouth before her eyes fully focused on the man standing on the other side. Of all the people she'd considered might be standing on the other side of the door, she'd never considered Piney Winston.

"Cat got your tongue Girlie?" He questioned, his voice more strained than the last time she'd seen him.

"What are you doing here Mr. Winston?"

"Told you enough times, fucking call me Piney. You going to let me in or let me freeze my balls off on your porch?"

"Opie's not here Piney."

"No shit, you know for a smart girl you're saying some really stupid shit right now," he made a sound somewhere between a cough and a wheeze.

"Christ, come in Piney." Sarah stepped back and let him in. She shut the door behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," he said, he'd always been blunt. "I'm not sure which one of you has your head farther up your own ass, you or my boy."

"What about Opie?"

"He's on a fucking suicide mission, that's what. Hasn't been right in the head since he came back. Something tells me that you know why."

"He was... upset at how I handled Kozik's passing."

"Yeah, that was rough. He was a good guy, even if he was a shithead most of the time. Never realized that you were his Old Lady."

"I wasn't."

"Sons don't take up collections at random."

"I never asked for that. We were friends, really good friends."

"Fucking friends?"

"No, it wasn't like that. I never.. he never.. I didn't know how he felt and when I found out it was..."

"You love my son?"

"You know I do Piney, I've always loved him."

"Then answer me one simple question, what the fuck are you still doing here? And when was the last time you showered?" He demanded. Sarah simply looked at him and burst into tears.  
"Jesus Christ, don't start the water works. Answer the question."

She inhaled deeply, tried to compose herself. Piney didn't suffer fools, or tears. "He left."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Piney let out a snort of disgust. "I just spent way too long in that cage to sit here and listen to you feel sorry for yourself. It's time to put on your big girl panties and make a decision. Either you love my boy or you loved Kozik and want to stay here wallowing. The choice is yours Girlie. Make it."

"I love Opie."

"Good, now it's a long ride back. I'm going to rest my eyes a bit while you go shower and get what you need."

3

Opie slammed the front door of the house behind him, the sound echoed but there was no one to complain. His kids were still with their grandparents, he'd tried to take them home with him because it was what Kenny wanted but they'd held firm. He'd signed the papers giving them temporary custody so they could take the kids to the doctor or make school decisions while he was gone and now the papers were being used against him.

Sure, they'd let him see the kids when they said that he could but unless he was prepared to hand in his cut, black out his ink and be exiled from the town he'd grown up in they were taking the temporary arrangement to the next step. Much like Donna they were trying to force his hand, make his decisions for him and he wasn't going to let them do it any more than he'd have allowed her to.

So here he was, alone. Alone and pissed. The prepay in his pocket chirped. "What?" He demanded when he answered, he wanted time on his own.

"It's me," Jax didn't need to identify himself. "You seen Piney? Clay's looking for him and he's not answering the phone."

"Probably at the cabin, getting drunk. What's going on? What's Clay want?"

"Not sure, don't think it's anything really. You know Clay."

Opie sighed and hung his head down. The idea that he'd had of drinking himself into a stupor was gone. "I'll head up to the cabin, check on the old bastard. You know he's going to put his foot straight up my ass for bothering him when he's in a bottle."

"Want me to head up with you?"

"Nah, the ride will do me good."

"Things didn't go well with Donna's parents?"

"I'll call you when I find him," Opie replied. He ended the call and immediately dialed a second number. The phone rang and rang, Sarah's recorded voice greeted him and he could picture the machine turning on in her kitchen. Either she still was in bed or she had ignored the call, either way he didn't know why the fuck he'd bothered calling.

Anger had driven him to leave Tacoma along with confusion because while he'd suspected that Kozik loved Sarah, it had been a whole different story to know that it was the truth and to know that Sarah knew it as well. He'd left without thinking too much but had expected that she'd contact him, that she'd call and blast him for leaving. He'd expected that she'd react in some way to him being gone but instead it had been nothing but silence.

3

"Son of a bitch," Piney's colorful language had become background noise for Sarah. He cursed the other drivers on the road with a steady stream of filth. Somehow it was comforting and she'd been able to doze off.

She woke now because he jammed on the brakes and she was thrown forward. "What the..."

They were surrounded by bikers and for a split second Sarah could clearly see her demise, Piney had filled her in on the fact that tensions were high between rival clubs in the area since Donna had been gunned down. But once she looked closer she saw that the riders were in fact Sons, why they were surrounding the car was beyond her.

Piney rolled down the window. "What's the problem?"

"Where the hell have you been Old Man?" Jax questioned as he walked closer to the car. "Had the entire club out looking for you. Can't just go AWOL with everything that's been going down."

Sarah knew the second that he leaned down and realized that it was her in the front seat because he swore a blue streak. "Nice to see you too Jax." She slid down further in the seat as he told the other guys to take off. All of them took long looks at her. To most of them she'd have been a stranger but she saw a glimmer of recognition in Tig's expression.

"You went to Tacoma to get her?"

"She's got a name, use it." Piney told him. "Can you think of anyone else who might be able to talk some sense into Opie?"

"No," he admitted with a sigh, "I actually can't."

"Alright then, what's the fucking problem?"

"Opie's up at the cabin, he figured you'd show up there sooner or later."

"We'll head up there then, get this shit settled once and for all."

"No," Jax shook his head, "I'll take Sarah up. You need to head to TM, Clay needs you for something."

"Go on with Jax Honey," Piney reached over and patted her leg. He must have seen something in her expression because he chuckled. "Don't worry, he'll behave."

"What about my stuff?"

"I'll take it over to the house, it'll be fine."

Piney was pretty damn certain that everything would be fine, he must have said it a dozen times on the way down but Sarah didn't share the same feeling. Right now nothing in her life was fine, everything was torn apart and she didn't know how the hell she was going to fix it.

The Caddy pulled away before she'd made it around the back of the car to where Jax had left his bike. "Look," she cleared her throat, "I get that you don't like me which is fine but if we could just not get into it right now that would be fantastic."

"I don't want to start with you Sarah, believe it or not all I want is for Opie to not be actively trying to get himself killed. He's walked towards gun fire, strolling away from bombs like he's got all the damn time in the world. If it keeps up... he'll be as dead as Kozik."

"Yeah, I know. Piney told me some things on the way down. I'm scared too Jax, I'm really scared."

"You remember how to ride?"

Sarah nodded, she'd ridden with Kozik the week before his untimely death and it was one of her favorite things for them to do. She'd hoped to ride with Opie, well maybe she'd be able to after all. "I remember."

3

It was the rumble of a bike engine that woke Opie. "Fuck." It better have been Piney finally showing up, explaining where the fuck he'd taken off to in the middle of some serious shit.

Opie stomped to the door, yanked it open and saw Sarah standing at the bottom step of the porch. She'd obviously come on the back of Jax's bike, his friend held up a hand in a wave before pulling away. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," she started up the stairs. "Can we talk?"

He motioned for her to go inside, held himself still even though he wanted to grab her and never let go. She moved slowly, rubbed her arms with her hands which he knew was a sign that she was nervous.

"First off, Piney's alright. He was gone because he came to get me," she turned to face him as he shut the door. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"What?"

"What the hell are you thinking?" She repeated. "Are you trying to get yourself killed or something? Walking towards gun fire? Not running away from a bomb set to explode? Seriously Opie, what the fuck?"

"Don't see how that concerns you," Opie told her as he walked over and sat down on the couch. "Surprised you came."

"Yeah well I was pretty damn surprised that you left!"

"Surprised you noticed that," he replied, a burst of anger spiraled through him at the memory. She'd been completely broken at the loss of Kozik very much the way that he'd been broken after Donna.

"I didn't love him like I love you! But I did and it hurt to lose him. Hurt to know that he wasn't going to be around again which didn't hurt half as much as walking in and you being gone. I should have talked to you, I should have... I don't know what I should have done. I don't know what to do now."

Opie rose to his feet, crossed the room so that he was in front of her. He towered over her, Sarah had no choice but to look up at him. Her eyes were shiny with tears, he was surprised that she had any left in her. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, her hair was pulled back in a braid and she didn't even have earrings on.

Silence stretched between them and he was torn, part of him knew just how dangerous it was for her to be in Charming and to be with him. It put her right in the middle of what was bound to be a bloody war but he didn't want to send her back to Tacoma. He wanted her there with him but she had to want that as well, despite what she'd just said self doubt reared its head and made him wonder if she was there out of a feeling of responsibility.

"It would really help if you said something," her voice was husky with emotion. Tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes. "If you don't want me here, you can say it."

"Is that what you want?" Opie brought his hands up to wipe the tears off of her face. "If it is, why did you even come here?"

"Doesn't matter what I want," Sarah trembled as his hands moved to cup her face, "you're the one who left Opie and if it's because you don't want to be with me..."

"Shut up," he had to remind himself not to grip her face too tight. He didn't want to hurt her. "I love you Sarah, I want to be with you." More than wanting to be with her, he was pretty sure that he needed to be.

"And we'd live in Charming?"

"Yes," he replied, for a moment he feared that she wouldn't be willing to leave Tacoma and he knew that he belonged in Charming.

"Okay," Sarah replied, "I'm moving to Charming."

"Just like that?" He questioned though it was exactly wanted to hear.

"It's not just like that Opie. It's what I've wanted since I was seventeen. I'd actually say it's more like about damn time than just like that."

Opie couldn't help it, he laughed and leaned down to kiss her deeply. "I love you Sarah."

"I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own SOA in any way, shape or form.

A/N: Big thanks as always for everyone reading this. You guys are the absolute greatest. Be warned, there is adult content in this chapter.

Chapter Eleven

"That's the woman," the voice that spoke was female and hushed but not hushed enough that the words didn't carry across the produce section of the market, "Donna's husband brought her home like six weeks after the funeral and now she's living with him, in Donna's own house."

Sarah put several grapefruit into the cart and moved on to the oranges. She wished that this was the first time she'd overheard a conversation about herself, it wasn't. Two weeks had passed since a van full of Tacoma prospects and all of her things had arrived, she was mostly settled in and trying to find her place.

Apparently part of that place was to have to listen to gossiping women who looked like rejects from a Real Housewives reality show on television. Sarah inhaled a deep breath and pushed her cart towards the vegetable section. Her focus was so intently on the spinach that she didn't look up as she heard footsteps.

"The blonde one is fucking the other blonde ones husband," Gemma motioned to the two women who had been discussing Sarah. They were now studiously perusing the Granny Smith apples as if there was nothing more important.

"Being they're both blonde, hard for me to figure out which is which." Sarah's grip tightened slightly on the cart. The years had been kind to Gemma Teller Morrow, she looked nearly the same as she always had and as always she intimidated Sarah.

"They're both fucking each others husbands so it doesn't matter. Point is, you need to put on your big girl panties and deal with them before people start thinking that you're soft."

"I really don't give a crap what people think about me."

"You really should," Gemma glanced down into Sarah's cart. "Making dinner tonight?"

"Meatloaf and mashed potatoes," Sarah replied, "and a vegetable. It doesn't matter which one, Opie's not going to want to eat it."

"Believe it or not, brussell sprouts with bacon. Always made it for him and Jax, never had leftovers. I'll get you the recipe. Got a really good one for meatloaf too."

"I've got to meatloaf covered, never met a guy who didn't like it." Sarah realized all too late that Gemma's meatloaf was a Charming favorite, a staple really that she'd eaten many times when she was younger.

"Suit yourself," Gemma wrapped her ringed fingers around her own cart.

She walked away and Sarah bit back a sigh. She'd just knocked herself down a few pegs in Gemma's opinion; first for not confronting the Botox Twins and then refusing a recipe numerous Charming women would give their left tit for. Great, just great.

3

Opie coughed to smother his laugh. Sarah looked like someone had kicked her puppy even though the tasty scent of meatloaf and potatoes filled the air. "Baby, I'm sure Gemma's not pissed."

"Yeah, she was," Sarah rubbed her hands over her eyes. "And she should be. Fuck, I should be. I can't get god damn tampons in this down without someone taking that as reason to talk about me. Or more accurately to talk about how fucked up it is what I did to Donna."

"You didn't do anything to Donna," Opie knew that Sarah's moving to Charming had created a stir. It wasn't only with the people in town, some of his own brothers had mentioned it. Most were cool regarding it and basically all of them thought he'd been banging Sarah while married to Donna.

"I know that, logically I know that, but still I don't want to be talked about."

"So say something next time that one of them starts whispering about you. This can't be the first time people had shit to say, what did you do when it happened in Tacoma?" Opie regretted the question the moment it left his lips and he saw her expression. Of course, in Tacoma is anyone had been bad mouthing her Kozik would have handled the situation. Especially if it was someone at the club. "Tell me who it is and I'll take care of it."

"As far as I can tell, they're Donna's friends. Look, don't do that. Don't. It's fine. I can deal with silly women who have nothing better to do but gossip. It's fine."

Opie knew by her tone and the way that she began moving around the kitchen that she wasn't fine, not by a long shot. As much as he didn't want to admit it to himself, Sarah was still a little out of sorts in Charming. She was used to working, keeping busy and right now all she was doing was cooking and keeping house. It had to be driving her crazy. It also had to be driving her crazy to be in the house so much, it wasn't until she was under the roof that he realized how much of the house was still Donna.

"You sure about that?" Opie crossed over to where she was taking plates out of the cabinet. "Stop for a second."

"The food is almost done. I need to set the table."

Opie thought that what she actually needed to do was relax so he silenced her with his mouth. "Turn off the oven so you don't burn dinner. We're not eating right now."

"We're not?" Sarah was smiling now, really smiling as she moved over to turn off the oven and pull the pan of meatloaf out. She gasped when he grabbed her and pulled her towards him. "Op?"

Opie spun her around until her back was pressed against the counter. His hands went to the waist band of the yoga pants she was wearing. Normally he just appreciated how nice they made her ass look but today he was also really glad at how easy they pulled down.

"Op!" Sarah's hands gripped the edge of counter. "The shades are open," she licked her lips nervously, "anyone could see."

"Don't worry about anyone else," he crouched down to pull the pants all the way off of her. Without looking he tossed them over his shoulder and reached up to pull down her panties. He removed them slowly, watching her the entire time to see if she was still thinking about the windows.

He was satisfied that her attention was fully on his when she shifted so that her legs were spread wider. Opie ran his hands up her legs, grinned as she trembled at the touch. "Relax," he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her thigh.

"I'm relaxed."

"Sure you are Baby," he smothered a chuckle because it was likely to piss her off and let his lips move over her skin again. Lately she'd been wound tight, really tight and he'd let it go on, he should have known better than that. It was easy to forget how deep she could get in her own head.

"I am," Sarah persisted. "Are we really going to argue about this with you kneeling between my legs?"

Opie laughed. "Smart ass." He let his fingers move further up her legs ending any chance of an argument or further conversation. Opie felt himself growing hard as his fingers skimmed over her clit and he watched her face.

She moaned as his fingers moved in a slow circle, her hips began to match his slow pace and then began to move faster. "Opie."

He'd never forgotten how sensitive she was to being touched like this, knew very well that he could make her come with only the tips of his fingers. "Relax," he reminded her as he set about doing just that at the same slow pace. Moans of pleasure replaced the sound of frustration Sarah had made when it became clear he wasn't going to speed up the pace. Her hips rolled against his hand and Opie grinned when she went suddenly still.

Sarah cried out, every muscle in her body clenched tightly before releasing. If Opie wasn't right in front of her, she very likely would have fallen flat on her face. "Fuck." She let out a shaky laugh.

"That's the plan," he kissed her deeply before turning her around so she was facing the counter. "This okay?" Opie pressed his lips to her shoulder and his body against hers. She moaned in response.

With one hand Opie undid his belt and he let the other slide down Sarah's stomach. She spread her legs wider for him. She was wet and warm, her hips moving with his fingers again.

Opie remembered at the last second to grab the condom from his wallet before he let his jeans fall to the floor. For a moment he didn't think the position was actually going to work, there were disadvantages to being so tall but when Sarah pushed up on her tip toes. "Got to stop letting stuff get to you Sarah. Got to remember what matters."

"I know," Sarah made a sound of impatience as he positioned himself behind her.

"I love you Sarah," Opie pressed the tip of his erection against her.

"I love you too Opie, love you so much. OH!" Sarah tossed her head back as Opie thrust into her in one deep stroke.

The feeling of her body warm, wet and tight around him was the best feeling in the world, it always was. Every single time they were together it was as good as the first time, most of the times even better. He'd always loved sex, loved getting off but with Sarah it was more than just feeling good.

"Come on Baby," Opie needed to feel her come around him. He let his hand slide over her hip and down between her legs. "Just like that," he urged her as he felt her body begin to move faster. "Oh fuck."

Sarah came with a cry, her head hit into his chest so he could see the look on her face. It was enough to send him over the edge. He thrust into her completely one more time and let go. "Fuck."

"Yeah, that's pretty much what happened." Sarah said with a laugh. "You ready for dinner now?"

"Ready to take you out to dinner, go on and get dressed."

3

"I forgot all about this place," Sarah had her arms wrapped around Opie even though the bike had come to a stop in front of the pizzeria. "I can't believe it's still here."

"Hasn't changed very much, still has the best pizza in Charming," Opie waited for her to release her grip on him and swing her leg off of the bike. "Hope you're hungry."

"I may have worked up an appetite," she leaned in and kissed him. "Thank you."

"For what?" Opie got off of the bike and at his full height he easily towered over her.

Sarah didn't find his height or him imposing, in fact it was comforting on some level to have to tilt her head back and look up to meet his eyes. "Everything," she replied after a moment of thought.

"You're welcome," his smile lit up his face. "You ready to go in?"

Sarah glanced into the pizzeria, saw that it was crowded and realized that part of that crowd was the same bleached blonde women who had been gossiping about her in the grocery store. Sometimes the fact that Charming was small was actually charming but in cases like this it was anything but. "Maybe we should go and get some Chinese food instead."

"Not a chance," Opie draped his arm around her shoulder. "I'm in the mood for pizza."

Sarah moved with him when he started walking, there didn't seem to be any other option. Opie opened the door to the pizzeria, she stepped inside first and it had to be her imagination that a hush fell over the dining area. Or it wasn't her imagination because when she looked over at Opie he had a pissed off expression on his face.

"Frankie, can we get a large pie? Pepperoni, sausage, onion and peppers."

"You got it," the owner called from behind the counter and Sarah was pulled back into the past. The man caught her eye and winked at her. "Stock room is still off limits to everyone except employees."

Sarah felt herself blush, she could clearly remember the man catching them making out back there. "Thanks for the reminder Frankie."

With a laugh the man went back to work. "C'mon, let's find a place to sit."

"Alright," Sarah replied as she looked around, not much had changed. The tables were new but the floor was still the same black and white tiles. There were still mass produced prints of Italy in golden frames on the wall. "Fuck my life," she sighed a moment later. "They're staring at us."

"Not for long." Opie draped his arm over Sarah's shoulder, started towards the woman. She had no choice but to move with him which had been his goal all along. He would be damned if those two intimidated Sarah. Hell, he remembered both of them shaking their asses on the stripper pole at the club house. "Lisa. Kelly." He came to a stop in front of the table they were at. "How's it going?"

The women simply stared at him for a moment, the blonder of the two finally replied. "Hi Opie."

"You two met Sarah yet?"

"No," the woman cleared her throat, "not really. Hi Sarah, I love your shoes. I'm Lisa. This is Kelly. Those are our kids over there. Where are Kenny and Ellie Opie? The kids have been missing them."

"They're with Donna's folks, I'll have 'em call you." Opie looked between the two women. "I was just telling Sarah about the time when you danced for Tig, Lisa. And Kelly, didn't you have a thing with Bobby? Seems to me like you might want to think about that before you go around talking shit. Enjoy your dinner." Opie guided Sarah towards a table that had a good view of the door and wasn't in line of the windows. It never hurt to be on the safe side.

"They're going to hate me more now." Sarah pointed out, a trace of annoyance in her voice.

"They might but they won't talk shit again." He held out a chair for her and rubbed his hands over her shoulders once she sat down. "You up for pizza or do you want pasta?"

"I think pizza sounds good. Oh, do they have garlic knots?"

"You got a toothbrush in your bag?" Opie teased.

"Actually, I didn't bring my bag but I've got gum in my pocket." Sarah ran a hand through her hair.

"That'll work," Opie didn't bother with the laminated menu. "After this we'll head over to the club house." A look of panic flashed over Sarah's eyes. "Baby, I don't know why you're so nervous about going to the clubhouse. It didn't bother you up at SAMTAC."

"It was different at SAMTAC, Lorca liked me. Jax doesn't and I know he's your best friend but he's not exactly subtle when he doesn't like someone." Sarah looked down at her fingers.

"He'll come around," Opie assured her. He reached out for her hands. "Look at me," he smiled at her, "he just thinks he's looking out for me. Besides, Piney's been asking me every damn day when I'm bringing you down."

"We might need to stop by the house and get the truck because I'm going to be drinking tonight."

33

Sarah finished her beer and set the bottle down on the bar. The prospect, Half Sack, acted quickly to get her another. Next to her Opie was deep in conversation with Chibs about something. She'd been trying to follow but she didn't understand some of what Chibs said, his accent was thick but pleasing and had actually made her feel a little at ease.

To her surprise she'd felt at ease the moment she walked in the door even though it looked nothing like SAMTAC's version, it was darker with wood paneling that had definitely seen better days. Even the stripper pole was slightly tarnished from years of use but that also gave a comfortable feeling to the room.

All the guys seemed nice, well mostly all of them because Tig hadn't said two words to her and she really didn't care. No, she was glad in fact. Kozik had told her a lot about his former friend including the guilt he felt over what he'd done. Guilt that Tig had never let him ease and now he was gone and couldn't.

A wave of missing Kozik rolled over her, it always happened at the most unexpected times and when it hit her things tended to go down hill. Opie had been great about it, even when he got frustrated by it he'd never blamed her for feeling the way she did.

"Well it's about damn time," Piney's voice cut through the air. He set his oxygen tank down on the bar, the metal clanked against the wood. "Tequila Shithead."

Sarah held back her laugh as Half Sack answered to the name. She leaned in and kissed Piney's cheek. "Nice to see you too Mr... Piney."

"That's a girl," he brought his hand up and ruffled her hair like she was a kid again. "Enough talking, let's drink."

Three shots later Sarah was feeling no pain as she laughed at Piney talking to one of the sweet butts, no here in Charming they were crow eaters. "I think that your father is about to get lucky," she slurred her words slightly as she stretched up to whisper in Opie's ear.

"Let's not cramp his style," Opie took her hand in his and pulled her away from the bar.

"Are we going to dance?"

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "No dancing. We're going to talk to Jax."

"I'd rather dance," the words escaped Sarah's lips and she blushed. "I mean..."

"You mean that you'd rather dance," Opie draped his arm over her shoulder. "Don't worry, it'll be painless."

Jax was sitting at a picnic table just outside the door, a brooding look on his face. Sarah realized she thought of it as his default expression. She'd expected to see at least one of the crow eaters with him, after all he was a male with a pulse but they all seemed to be keeping their distance from him.

"What's up Brother?" Opie didn't wait for an invitation, he motioned for Sarah to sit down as he did.

"Nothing Op, nothing." Jax looked over at Sarah. "Surprised to see you here."

"I needed to get settled in," she explained though it wasn't the entire truth. "How are you Jax?"

"I'm good. I'm good." There was something in the way that he said it which suggested he wasn't, it only took a glance at Opie to see that he'd noticed it too. "How's everything going with you guys?"

"Great," Opie replied with a smile, "be even better if my best friend and girl could look at each other. This shit needs to end, now. I've done the two separate lives thing, keeping my family and the club apart and I'm not going to do it again. I can't do it again."

"You won't have to. I get it. I get what the club means to you."

"Learned that from Kozik, huh?"

"No, I learned it from your father." Sarah shot back, she spoke more freely than she would have sober. "I used to come here with my father, he wasn't shit to the club in the grand scheme of things but you dad treated him like he was more than just some drunk. It's a family more than a club, it's..." she shook her head as she felt tears rise in her throat.

"It's not the same club it was," Jax lit a cigarette, still looking as if the weight of the world was set firmly on his shoulders, "but it will be what my father wanted it to be. I've got something that I want you to read Op, something my father wrote."

"Right now?"

"No time like the present."

"I'll go and see if Piney's done," Sarah offered to give them some time alone.

"No, you should come with us Sarah." Jax took a long drag off of his cigarette, his eyes never leading hers. "I doubt you're the kind of Old Lady who likes to be kept in the dark."

Sarah found herself smiling. "I'm definitely not." But if there had ever been any doubt in her mind that she was Opie's Old Lady they were gone now, if Jax could accept it than everyone could accept it and if they didn't, fuck them. She wasn't going to let anything get in the way of her happiness.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING at all from Sons of Anarchy.

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites. They make me smile every time. I know updates on this have gotten slow, for that I apologize but RL has gotten in the way of everything but work lately. I promise to try my best to get them up quicker!

CHAPTER TWELVE

The house was quiet, quiet enough that Sarah had switched on music just for some background noise. Lately the house had been anything but quiet. Jax was over more often along with more of the other guys and honestly she loved it.

There was a notable change in the atmosphere of the house and in Opie since Jax had sat them down and shown them the words his father had wrote. Sarah knew that it was an olive branch and she accepted it. Once she and Jax had been friendly perhaps they could even get back to that again.

For the first time Sarah was starting to see a real happy future for them. It was a sharp relief to her earlier fears that one day Opie would wake up, realize he'd made a mistake and was still too in love with Donna to love her. He loved her. She loved him and they were going to make this work no matter what.

Sarah placed the trays of lasagne into the oven, glanced at the clock and decided wine was in order but before she could uncork the bottle she'd opened the night before there was a sharp knock on the door.

"Can I help you?" She opened the door with the chain still on to find a blonde woman standing there.

"Agent June Stahl," the woman flashed her badge. "And you are? Lyla? No, wait you must be Sarah. Lyla's a porn star, the girl next door kind."

"What can I do for you Agent?"

"We need to talk. Why don't you open the door, invite me inside?"

"No," Sarah had danced this dance a time or two with the Tacoma cops when they were looking for Kozik. She hadn't been intimidated then and she refused to be intimidated now even though the woman was a fed. "If you'll get to the point, I've got garlic bread to make."

"Isn't that domestic of you?" Stahl smiled and it was actually frightening. It was not the smile of someone who was well, not by a long shot. "Settling right in, aren't you? Looks like you're even Donna's size so I guess that your wardrobe just doubled. I am surprised your hair isn't darker though. Other than that, the resemblance is close."

"Make your point."

"My point is Donna Winston died because of the Sons of Anarchy, her husband and your current lover included. Do you really think it was random? Like it or not, you're in danger just by being here."

"And let me guess? You can help me. You want to help me. Thanks but no thanks, I don't need or want your help. We're done here. Come back with a warrant or fuck off." Sarah shut the door with a smile and the smile faded from her face. "Jesus Christ."

She wanted to call Opie but was now seriously paranoid about the house being watched, taps on the phones or devices to monitor their cells. It wasn't exactly a shocker that the feds would be interested in SAMCRO, especially the ATF because of the way the charter earned. SAMTAC had their finger in the pie as well but it was a much smaller piece. No wonder Jax was thinking so hard about a different direction for the club if Charming was that much on the radar.

"Fuck it," Sarah decided there was only one thing to do and that was drink her wine.

3

The last thing Opie expected to find jammed in the edge of the front door was an ATF business card. "Sarah?" He called out as he stepped inside.

"Kitchen," she called back. "Hey, can you grab me my slippers? I left them in the living room. We need to talk too but don't worry, I've got beer."

He got her slippers from the living room and walked into the kitchen. "Let me guess, we need to talk about a certain ATF agent."

"I guess you've had the pleasure of meeting her then," Sarah was completely shit faced, her words slurred. She was at the table, empty bottle of wine in the center and dinner was cooling on the stove.

"What did she say to you?"

"It was all bullshit. She wanted me to talk. Yeah, like that's going to happen." Sarah got up and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "Is she part of the reason why Jax wants things to change?"

"Yeah," Opie admitted, "she's part of it. Steer clear of her, she's a manipulative cunt."

"I didn't plan on inviting her over for tea and crumpets," she replied with a huff. "Dinner's ready but I'm too drunk to serve it to you."

Opie chuckled at that. "I can get it. You too drunk to eat?"

"No, I could eat. I can always eat. You should know that by now. It's why I need to start running again before I can't fit into my pants."

"Your pants fit just fine," he told her as he opened the cabinet to get out the plates.

"Thanks but they're feeling a little snug."

"That's what's great about them," he winked at her, watched as she blushed. "You could always go without pants, I wouldn't mind that."

Sarah let out a laugh. "I'm sure that the neighbors would."

"I'm sure they wouldn't. Old Mr. Henderson is a horn dog. I hear he was quite a player back in his day."

"That image is seriously disturbing, seriously." Sarah was smiling as she spoke. "You know that I'd never tell that bitch or anyone, anything."

"Of course I do," Opie began to fill plates with the food. "Next time she comes around, call me."

"I can handle her," Sarah informed him. "Enough about whatever the fuck her name is. How was your day Dear?"

"Work. Lots of work. Had a couple transmissions that needed replacing and a few tows we didn't even get the chance to look at. Lowell is MIA, again which makes it worse." Opie brought the plates over to the table. "What did you do today?"

"Jack and Shit. That's what I did today. It's what I do every day." Sarah grumbled the words as she reached for her fork. "There's only so much shopping I can stand and I've got everything I need."

Opie sat down across from her. "You been thinking about looking for a job?"

"Actually, I have."

He'd figured as much, he'd seen her on the computer looking at sights. Sarah had always worked, staying home must have been pretty boring to her. "What were you thinking?"

"Something in an office. I like office work."

"Call Oswald," Opie suggested. "I think he's looking for someone." And if he wasn't, he would be. He'd see to it.

3

"The bitch was at my house, Jax. At my house." Opie spoke in a low tone as they sat outside the club house on a bench.

"How'd Sarah handle it?"

"How do you think? She's all calm on the outside, inside I'm not sure. She's looking for a job. I said she should call Oswald."

"Gemma could find something for her to do here."

Opie let out a snort of laughter. "I even suggest that and I'm not getting laid for a long time Brother."

"I could ask Tara about something at the hospital," Jax offered. "We should try to go out one night, the four of us."

"Yeah, that would be good."

"Get away from shit for a while," Jax looked over at the club house, "we need to figure out how we're going to change things Op."

"What's going on with you?" Opie questioned. "Somethings up."

"I've just got a lot on my mind Op. Abel being home, being a father? Tara being back? It's just changing shit, changing me."

Opie nodded, he understood that. He'd felt the same way when his kids were born, it changed things. Fuck, he missed them. Really hated that they weren't with him, that they didn't want to be with him. It hurt but he couldn't blame them, he'd been a horrible father and lately been thinking that he really needed to make up for that. "I get it. I'm here though, you know that."

"Yeah, I do." Jax tossed his cigarette. "I'm going to go finish the brakes on that truck so I can get the hell out of here early. Tara's got the afternoon off."

Opie chuckled. "Yeah, you do that. I'm gone as soon as I hand in the write up for the minivan, gonna take Sarah for a ride."

"Sounds good, maybe I'll talk Tara into one. See you later Brother." Jax rose to his feet, stretched and walked away.

Opie pulled out his phone, dialed Sarah's number and listened to it ring through to voice mail. "Hey, it's me. I'll be home in twenty minutes." He shook his head and put his phone back in his pocket. Half the time Sarah didn't answer the phone, she liked to leave it in random places and then have to search to find it.

3

"Sarah!"

"Jesus Christ," Sarah sighed and turned to see Agent June Stahl striding towards her with a smirk on her face. "What do you want?"

"To talk," Stahl held up her hands, "just to talk. To tell you a few things."

"You mean to spew whatever lie suits you best at the moment," Sarah corrected. "Thanks but no thanks, I've got things to do."

"I'm not a liar Sarah. I don't need lies when I have the truth. The truth is much worse than a lie, much worse."

"I don't have time for this. Either arrest me or leave me alone."

"Why are you so scared to talk to me, Sarah?"

"I'm not scared to talk to you, I don't want to talk to you. There's a big difference."

"Donna was scared, scared of what would happen to her if word got out that she'd talked to me. Is that what's going on here because we can go somewhere more private?" Stahl's smile grew as Sarah felt herself frown. "Oh, did I forget to mention that Donna had plenty to say? She was going to sign the witness statement the night she died. I still can't figure out if it was the Sons who killed her or her Old Man. Considering you're here, I'm leaning towards Opie."

"Go to hell," Sarah was unable to control the anger in her voice. She wasn't going to listen to another second of Stahl and her lies. If she knew anything she knew that Opie wasn't capable of killing Donna, no way in hell.

As she pulled open the drugstore door she realized something else. While there was no doubt in her mind that Opie wouldn't harm Donna, she didn't feel the same way about SAMCRO especially if she was set to rat. Quickly Sarah grabbed what she'd come in the store for and checked out.

Stahl was no where to be seen when she left and Sarah was glad for that. The drive home was a blur. Her mind kept working over the fact that Donna had been a rat, that she'd been willing to sell out Opie and the club. The very night she was due to put everything in motion she'd been gunned down drive by style in quiet little Charming.

Was it SAMCRO? The mere though turned her stomach because she could see it clearly. The thing was, an order like that would have to come from the top which meant Clay would have had to make the call on ordering a hit on an Old Lady. Her head began to ache as she wondered who would have been the one to pull the trigger. And if she was right, if it had come from the top of SAMCRO, how much did Jax know? What wasn't he saying?

Opie's bike was in the driveway when she parked in front of the house. She found him in the living room, sitting up on the couch but fast asleep. He'd been working crazy hours lately between TM and club stuff so she couldn't bring herself to wake him, instead she kicked off her shoes and got on the couch with him. Sarah laid with her head in his lap, eyes shut and eventually slept despite the thoughts rolling around in her head.

She woke to the feeling of Opie's hand stroking her head, fingers sliding through her hair. Sarah felt herself smile. "Have a nice nap?"

"Sorry, guess I didn't realize how beat I was. Let me grab a quick shower and then we can head out like we were supposed to."

"I've got a better idea than going up the coast. Let's just ride to the cabin instead. It's got to be great up there in this weather. Besides, it's supposed to rain tomorrow and I'd rather be in the cabin in the rain than stuck in a hotel room. You sure that you can take the day tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm good with the cabin. You all packed?"

Sarah stretched and sat up. "I've just got to throw a more things in my bag and I'm good to go. I should tell you that I saw Stahl today, she confronted me outside of the drug store with more bullshit."

"You should have called me."

"My phone was in the car, I just drove back here. I told you, I can handle her." Sarah got off the couch, stretched her arms over her head. "I love you, Opie."

"I love you too Sarah. You sure that you're okay?"

"I'm great Baby, never better."

3

Rain poured down on the cabin roof, the sound was all that Sarah could hear. All she could feel was the warmth of Opie's arms around her. He was still asleep, she could tell by his breathing and she was glad. He didn't sleep a lot, not as much as he should at least.

He was happy with her, she knew that was true but there was a part of him that was still haunted by Donna's death and would always be. Sarah couldn't help but wonder what it would do to him to know if SAMCRO had a hand in her death?

Sarah thought back to when Kozik had told her about Donna's death. He'd been sketchy on the details of what happened except for the shocking fact that she'd been gunned down on one of the main streets of Charming. Opie hadn't added much to what she knew, when he spoke of Donna it was almost never about that night.

With everything that Stahl was saying to her, she needed to know what had happened that night or at least as much as anyone knew which meant only one thing. As much as she didn't like it, she was going to have to ask Opie about it and she wasn't quite sure how he was going to take that.

So she lay as close to him as possible, eyes closed until she felt him begin to stir next to her. It was fully dark outside of the windows, essentially they'd slept the day away and they were due to leave the following morning with so much going on at TM.

"Shit, what time is it?"

"Late," Sarah turned to face him.

"Should have woken me," he reached out and stroked his fingers over her arm.

"You were tired, you needed to sleep."

"What have you been doing?"

"I've been thinking," she replied. "And I wanted to ask you something but I don't want to upset you." Sarah shut her eyes as he shifted, sat with his back against the headboard. "You didn't have to get up."

"What do you want to talk about? Are you not..."

"No, it's nothing like that. It's just that Stahl has mentioned Donna a few times and I realized that I'm not even sure what happened that night."

"You want to ask me about the night that Donna died?"

"I know, I know it's hard to talk about and I shouldn't ask but I..." Sarah sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Opie cleared his throat. "It was uh... it was the night of Abel's coming home party. It was a nice night. Everyone had a good time. We had a good time even though I knew that she was leaving when we went back home. Even though she was leaving she didn't want to get on Gemma's bad side. I was all set to let her take the kids home in the wagon but she wanted to stay and help with the dishes. I said I'd take the kids home."

Sarah sat up straight, processing the information that Donna was shot in Opie's truck while Opie drove the kids home in her car. It meant the truck was the target and Opie right along with it. "I can't even imagine that."

"I'd just got them in bed, opened a beer and then the phone rang and everything was different. She died because she needed to buy dish soap. It's pretty much all a blur once I got to the street and saw her. Fuck."

"I'm sorry that I brought this up, sorry that it makes you hurt. I probably wouldn't have but Stahl made me think about it."

"Quit saying that you're sorry Sarah. Look, we're going to have to talk about it. About everything. Not sure that I'm going to be great at it but we've got to give it a shot. What did Stahl say about Donna?"

"She used her as an example of what could happen to someone close to the club. I just tune her out every time that she opens her mouth, I don't need to hear her bullshit. She's dangerous though, I'm thinking pretty much a sociopath in a skirt."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Enough about that gash, get over here. You want to go to town and get some take away? Or do you want to eat some of Piney's canned stuff?"

"Actually, there were some steaks in the freezer and I took them out earlier. There's rice and veggies so I figured that I would make us dinner." Sarah explained as she settled down next to him, her head on his chest.

She shut her eyes, listened to the sound of his heart beat and wondered if they were going to get through things whole. After all, secrets couldn't stay buried forever. If she was right one day Opie was going to know that the club he loved tried to take his life. Sarah had never hoped so much to be wrong but there was a cold pit in her stomach that she couldn't get rid of no matter how hard she tried.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING from SOA. Everything else, that's all me.

A/N: A million thanks for the reads and reviews of the last chapter. I didn't want to keep you waiting so here we go. All errors are mine though I think I caught them all.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The music was loud, the booze and beer flowed freely, most women were scantily dressed in search of a good time. Everyone was feeling good. People played pool, cards, a few tried darts while the braver, or drunker, woman took turns on the stripper pole. Sarah was content to just relax, sitting at the bar with a beer in her hand and Piney at her side.

"Have some tequila, loosen up," the older man suggested. "Just don't get so loose that I've got to watch my son grab you off of that pole."

"I've got no intention of getting anywhere near that pole," Sarah motioned for the prospect, Half Sack, to bring her a glass for the tequila but she wasn't sure he even saw her. This was the most packed she'd seen the SAMCRO clubhouse since she'd started coming around with Opie. With no glass she simply slid the bottle over and sipped from the straw.

"Brat," Piney told her, "I don't want to think about where your mouth has been with my boy."

"And I don't want to think about where your mouth has been when it comes to the crow eaters around here, guess that makes us even and either way the alcohol kills any germs."

"Yeah. Yeah. Go on and get your own glass, not like anyone's going to stop you. Grab me some of those peanuts when you're back there."

"Anything else while I'm up?"

"Check out that blonde over there, tell me if her rack is real."

"Pervert," Sarah let out a laugh as she slid off the stool. Checking out prospective pussy was something she'd done often in Tacoma and not just for Kozik. So she walked around the bar, took a good look at the blonde before moving to the back to get what she needed.

"Hey!" The sharp command was accompanied by snapping fingers as the blonde, who definitely had a fake rack, tried to get her attention. "Hey you! Yeah, you. My glass is empty. I need another drink."

Under normal circumstances Sarah would have simply poured the drink as requested, after all she was pretty easy going when it came down to it but there was something in the blonde's tone and expression that made her want to smack the fuck out of her. "Prospect should be back in a minute."

"And you're there now. Fill me up. Oh, and one for my girl! Lyla! Over here."

"I'm not a bartender, sorry." Sarah grabbed a glass, another beer and the can of nuts for Piney and ignored the blonde as she became outraged at not getting another Jack and Coke. The outrage started a tantrum, a tantrum that impressed Sarah and there had been some drama queens in Tacoma.

Impressed by the show or not, she wasn't getting the blonde bitch or her stick figure friend a drink. Sarah got back to her seat, slid the nuts to Piney. "Tits are fake. The crazy seems real though."

"Shame," Piney shook his head, "should have know, those porn girls are all plastic."

"She's a Cara Cara girl? Guess the standards for porn aren't too high these days if they'll take someone who melts down over having to wait for a drink."

"She's got a mouth that could suck the lettering off my tank," he patted the portable oxygen unit. "Little one next to her does the whole barely legal thing, it's hot."

"Pervert," she told him with a smile.

He shrugged his shoulders. "So, the porn shit doesn't bother you?"

"No." Sarah had bigger things to worry about but she couldn't tell Piney that. Stahl had gone silent, it had been two weeks since their last conversation. Two weeks was too long, the blonde bitch was up to something. The question was what.

"Something is bothering you. That ATF gash still sniffing around you?"

"Nope, haven't heard a peep from her." Sarah poured a healthy amount of tequila into her glass. "She mentioned Donna a lot. Got me thinking how fucked up it is what happened to her. So random. It could have easily been Opie behind the wheel."

Piney took a deep sip from the straw, sighed. "I loved Donna, loved her like she was my own daughter. I was ready to kill the bastards responsible but there was a part of me relieved it hadn't been Opie, that he'd taken the wagon instead. Just another in the long list of reasons why I'm going to hell."

"You'll have good company there."

"I'll tell your boy you said hello when I get there." Piney let out a laugh. "Miss drinking with that shit head."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Sarah could have said more but didn't. It wouldn't bother Piney but if other Son's overheard they could think she was disrespecting Opie. She was sure Tig would get a thrill out of it. The way he watched her was downright fucking creepy but no one else, especially Opie, seemed to notice.

"Hey BITCH!"

Sarah started to turn around in the chair but the blonde decided to help her up. She was glad that she'd worn sensible boots suited for riding and kicking teeth in. The last thing that she wanted was physical violence but she'd learned her lessons in Tacoma, sometimes it was the only way.

She was just about to take the first punch when a large hand, complete with five heavy silver rings came down on the blonde's shoulder. "The fuck are you doing Ima?"

"She wouldn't get me a drink. Got all mouthy too." Ima looked over her shoulder at Opie and pouted a pretty pout. "I was just trying to tell her how things work around here."

Opie let out a loud laugh. "You were going to show my Old Lady the ropes?"

Ima went pale beneath her spray tan. She started to stammer out an answer but Opie wasn't done. "Apologize for getting in her face and ask her if you can stay."

"I was invited," Ima pointed out, "Lyla invited me, right Lyla?"

"I didn't know that she was going to start trouble Op, I'm sorry." Sarah felt a rush of jealousy as the petite woman looked up at Opie with eyes straight out of a Disney cartoon. Fuck, she must have made a shit load of money playing up how young and innocent she could look. "We're going to leave. She'll apologize, right Ima?"

"I'm sorry. Whatever." The blonde managed not to roll hee r eyes. Sarah had to give her credit for that, it was obvious the apology wasn't sincere and she didn't really care who knew it.

"And I'm sorry for whatever she said too." Lyla turned her smile to Sarah. "Come on Ima, let's go." She looked back over to Opie. "I really am sorry Opie, I'll see you when I come to get my car."

"See you Lyla." Opie ran his hand over Sarah's back. "C'mon, play some poker with us. We need a fourth person and you're pretty good, right?"

"I'm good enough to kick your ass," she smiled as he slid his arm around her waist. "We should play strip poker some time, just you and me."

"I sure ain't inviting anyone else," Opie informed her. "Chibs was playing with us but he met a redhead with daddy issues and now Hap's gone so I guess we're going to have to wait for another person."

"Or we could find something else to do." Sarah stopped short, turned to face him. "I can think of something."

"I can tell you had tequila," Opie smirked, "so I'm going to remind you that we're in the middle of the club house."

"I'm not offering to give you head in front of everyone," she giggled and stretched up to brush her lips against his. "But I am feeling pretty frisky right about now. Remember when we used to sneak into the garage and fool around?"

Sarah began to laugh as he scooped her up off of her feet. She didn't ask him not to drop her because he wouldn't. He couldn't. The only other person she'd ever trusted so much was Kozik.

"Op!" Jax called his name just as he was about to carry Sarah out there door. "Got a situation."

Sarah unwrapped her legs from around Opie, suppressed the urge to sigh loudly while rolling her eyes. "Go handle it. I'll just head home."

"Not alone, wait until the prospect can take you."

Personally Sarah was sure that she could do a better job of protecting herself if anything happened than the prospect but voicing that was only going to make Opie frown more than he already was. It had been quite clear to her he was more than ready to reenact their high school make out session, in fact she worried that he'd have a problem actually riding his bike with his dick so hard.

"Alright, want me to keep him until you come home?"

"Yes," Opie pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And make sure that you've got your gun out once you're home."

"No worries Op, it's actually already in my purse." She winked at him. "I'm always prepared. Stay safe."

"Make sure the house is locked tight."

###

It was supposed to be a run of the mill sale, last minute because LaRoy was neck deep in shit and knew it. Everything should have gone quick and easy, the exchange made and Opie's only thought was to head home and see if Sarah was still awake so they could finish what they'd started earlier.

The first shot came out of nowhere and the man to LaRoy's right fell with a new hole in the center of his forehead. Then came the roar of engines, the Mayan's had apparently decided that they wanted a piece of this particular deal.

Shots were coming from every direction, he and Jax took cover by a stack of crates. Opie reloaded as quickly as he could, sent several shots towards the Mayan's who were moving the gun crates. "Fuck." He hit one, missed the other and then felt a burning through his arm.

"Fuck, you're hit." Jax swore. "Stay down."

"I'm fine," Opie replied. "It went right through. Enough talking, let's end this."

It seemed that fire fights were becoming an almost weekly thing for Samcro and Opie wondered if the peace would ever return again. He longed for a little quiet, a little time to truly let things settle down for him and Sarah. It didn't seem like that was in the cards for them, especially now."

In the end the Mayan's got away with most of the guns and left two of their guys dead. Two Niners were down but the Sons were whole except for the wound to Opie's arm. Jax had offered to have Tara sew it up but Opie just wanted to get home. He couldn't feel anything in his arm when he finally pulled up which was a blessing because it had been hurting like hell.

The kitchen light was burning but all the shades were closed. He'd called ahead so she wouldn't see him come in the door bloody and get scared but the second he saw her he knew that she was scared.

"I'm fine."

"You're bleeding all over your cut. What did they wrap you up with? Come on and sit, let me see what we've got."

"Sarah."

"Sit. No, take off your cut first. Put it on the chair. I'll clean it. Oh fuck, look at all that blood. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Sarah was constantly in motion, fussing with the first aid kit contents and checking the gloves. She was doing everything but looking at him

Opie sat as she asked. "It's a through and through. You should have said you couldn't handle it, I'd have had Chibs do it. I still can."

"Sht up. Did I say I couldn't do it?" Sarah smacked him in the arm he wasn't shot in. "I'm just trying to figure out how this was you being careful."

"I didn't get dead." Opie remained still, watched as she cut off his tee shirt. He probably could have gotten his arm out of it but it had seemed smarter to just let her do her thing while she had a pair of scissors in her hand. "Sarah."

"I know you're not dead," she said finally as she began to clean the wound. "Well, you're right. It's a through and through. Something strange though," Opie shifted a little in the chair as she began to examine the wound, shifting her head from side to side and moving several times.

"What strange?" He demanded as he craned his own head to see as best he could.

"The wounds, exit wounds are for the most part always larger than the entrance wound but in this case if you were shot from front to back there should be. It looks like..."

"It looks like what Sarah?"

"I'm no expert Opie but I do know the longer we leaving it open, the greater the chance of infection. So, this is going to sting but just remember you are so getting head after this."

Opie let out a chuckle. "Baby, letting you sew me up is more than a blow job. I'm thinking we're entering anal territory."

"Oh really?"

"Come on, you like when I use my fingers. Hell, I seem to remember you coming so hard you fell asleep and I had blue balls."

"They weren't blue for long if memory serves, I woke up a few minutes later. I was just resting." Sarah smiled, really smiled for the first time since he'd come in the door, her hands were steady as she picked up the suture kit. "And you're right, I do like it. We can but I've got to be really drunk and we need all the lube in Charming."

3

Sarah closed out the page on the computer screen and rubbed her eyes. She hadn't slept much the night before, her mind racing and rushing to conclusions that she shouldn't have been even thinking about until she knew for sure.

Now she knew for sure, images on google were very helpful and pretending to be writing a story in a chat room full of doctors got her lots of information and some of their personal images which told her that she had been right.

The bullet hit Opie from behind. He'd babbled on and on, the drugs that she'd found in his medicine cabinet had hit him like a ton of bricks, Opie had told her in detail no less than three times exactly what happened at the shoot out.

She'd kept her mouth shut but it was clear that only Son's were at his back. She'd done her best to push it out of her mind, to give her full attention to Opie which wasn't hard. He'd said a lot the night before, many things about her body and one thing she couldn't let herself think about because he obviously didn't know what he was saying when he suggested that they get married.

It had to be the drugs because as suddenly as he'd brought up marriage he'd started talking about building a new shed out back and then started to tell her a story about him and Jax when they were teenagers.

Shortly after that he was sleeping, snoring like a bear and so deeply sleeping that it was like he was a bear in a coma who could not be budged. Sarah had eventually managed to fall asleep to the sound but woke well before him to make sure that there was breakfast ready.

Opie had been a little groggy from the pills but had refused to take anything stronger than Tylenol because he wanted to be alert at work. He was that much of a tough guy, to let something as minor as a gunshot wound have the brake and transmission jobs pile up at Teller-Morrow.

Before he'd left he asked if she'd heard anything from Elliott Oswald about the position and not knowing what else to say, she'd said that she was still waiting to hear back after sending her resume. A resume she'd never sent just because she'd wanted to try and find work on her own. Right now, work wasn't important but she could never tell Opie why. How could she go to a job all day with all she knew rattling around in her head? There was no way.

Sarah turned off the computer, grabbed her purse and walked out the door. She had no doubt that once she was out in town she'd run into her favorite blonde ATF agent and this time around, the woman was going to give her something more than half truths.


End file.
